Friday, April 8 by

Enough Killer Children To Swear You Off Of Parenthood Forever

To coincide with the release of Joe Wright‘s little-blonde-girl-assassin movie Hanna (in theaters now), Vulture put together a montage of disturbing child murderers! It’s actually kind of hypnotic to watch, strangely enough. You’d think it’d make ovaries shrivel up and sperm start swimming the other way, but I don’t know, it’s kind of making me want to raise a little rugrat of my own. A little ball of joy to coddle and teach to ride a bike, and how to hold an icepick. It’s all in the angle, you see. You raise that thing high enough above your head, and you’ve got a deadl weapon! Any lower and you’re just going to maim. This heartwarming montage contains clips from Children Of The Corn all the way to Orphan. And if you’re going to complain that Orphan isn’t a good example, you’re even more of a nerd than me, AND you just helped spoil the ending of a terrible movie. (Vulture)

Do you like this story?

COMMENTS

  1. April 8, 2011 11:55 am

    E.A.

    Great coincidental timing… Disturbing tikes, indeed.

    Haven’t seen Hanna yet, so I’m trolling for spoilers. One reviewer suggested that the movie is vague & open-ended, and the audience is left asking a lot of questions, on purpose, just so they can do “Hanna 2.” Send any spoilers about Hanna to: eaguil50@gmail.com THANKS!!