Friday, October 17 by

Watch a Guy Almost Die on the Today Show

Since I work from home like a shady pot dealer, I could watch The Today Show if I wanted to, but, like most people who aren’t 60-year-old women, I think it’s boring. But, this clip shows a guy doing a tight rope act with no net on live TV. Plus, it was in Newark, NJ, which makes it about 30-times more dangerous. Watch and listen to the anchors try to sound concerned while secretly hoping that guy will end up a corpse and win them an Emmy.

My favorite part is when one of the anchors says, "don’t go backwards" when he’s riding the bike, as if he meant to put himself at greater risk for becoming a pile of mush. It’s also awesome how many times they remind us that it wasn’t their idea. Yeah, that would’ve totally gotten you off the hook had he plummeted to his doom while every elderly and unemployed person in the country watched.

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