Wednesday, August 13 by

Vicky Christina Barcelona: The Reason The Mute Button Was Invented

I think that Penelope Cruz is one of the sexiest women on the entire planet. I will scream it on top of a mountain through a ram horn if need be. So because of her sheer presence in this movie, I will be willing to see it if my girlfriend makes me. Also, she makes out with Scarlett Johansson.

I don’t love Scarlett Johansson as much as Penelope Cruz because she sounds like she just woke up at noon after a serious rager and reached right for the half empty pack of Marlboro light 100’s. As far as Javier Bardem is concerned, I have a lot of trouble getting him out of my head as the gay writer in Before Knight Falls, or as a psychopath rolling around West Texas with a bolt gun and a flop. And Woody Allen? I wouldn’t let him near my kids, but I guess he’s cool.

Anyway, I don’t think this will be a particularly amazing movie. But I’m posting it because there will be the inevitable night where your girlfriend is going to ask you if you want to see a movie, and you can surprise her with this one.

And as usual, Holy Taco has beat us to the scoop.
 
 

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