'Twilight: Breaking Dawn" Was Supposed To Contain This Creepy Animatronic Baby

This baby looks like the little man from 'Twin Peaks'. The big plot point of the final Twilight installments was Bella and Edward's baby, so one would think that the director would want to make sure that the portrayal of the baby was convincing and accurate, which it eventually pretty much was. But before that, it was THIS. A terrible animatronic baby that looks like something that would belong to a mentally unbalanced woman. It in no way resembles a real baby, and likely would have ruined the film even more than the cast and writing already had. Enjoy the clip.

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Trailer For ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Has It All

Lookin' good, sexy vampires. [post-album postid="209989" item="2"]The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 starring Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (whew) is either a movie you have no interest in seeing, or the Second Coming of Christ. Or maybe somewhere in between? Anyway, here's the first trailer for the hotly anticipated sexy married vampires movie, and it's got all the sad eyes and violin music you could ask for. Here's an official plot synopsis, in case the trailer is not enough for your unquenchable thirst: "After their wedding, Bella and Edward travel to Rio de Janeiro for their honeymoon, where they finally give in to their passions. Bella soon discovers she is pregnant, and during a nearly fatal childbirth, Edward finally fulfills her wish to become immortal.  But the arrival of their remarkable daughter, Renesmee, sets in motion a perilous chain of events that pits the Cullens and their allies against the Volturi, the fearsome council of vampire leaders, setting the stage for an all-out battle." Huh. Here's hoping the fearsome council of vampire leaders forgot to bring their magic swords or whatever. The movie's coming out on November 18, so try not to run afoul of any sexy vampires and/or werewolves before then.


Twilight: Breaking Dads

Being a father sucks. 'Twilight' makes it even worse... We found three obsessed adolescent Twi-Hards and brought them in for an intense round of "Twilight" trivia! At stake is a pair of tickets to the "Breaking Dawn Part 2" red carpet premiere and after party! But what these Twilight fanatics don't know is that they won't actually be competing - their Dads must answer the questions! Here's hoping these fathers paid attention to their daughters obsession... or they're about to have a terrible holiday.


Boot Knockin', Werewolf Fights, And Bad Burritos In 'Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 1' Trailer

Bella learns the consequences of buying hot meals at the gas station. It's every young husband's nightmare -- after getting your wife pregnant during the honeymoon, your super-genes cause the baby to grow at a rapid rate and it is born within a matter of days, thus killing the mom. C'mon guys, we've all thought about it. That's exactly what happens to Robert Pattinson in the new trailer for Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 1. Also, looks like we get a rumble between vampires and werewolves. If you're into the imagery of gaunt art school students suplexing over-sized wolves, you'd better get yourself a ticket, because this is the movie for you.


Honest Trailers: 'Twilight'

If trailers were accurate... In honor of the Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 trailer, which I'm sure you're really excited about, we decided to revisit the roots of the series with our own honest trailer for Twilight. And just like the real deal, it's got everything you've come to know and love about the series: the incessant voiceovers, the prolonged staring, the statutory rape, etc., etc. Plus, it points out Bella's inability to pour ketchup, which I was unaware of. If there's a tween-age girl you're looking to piss off, be sure and forward her this trailer...unless of course there's a court order that prevents you from doing so, in which case, don't worry about it.


Just Watch The New 'Twilight' Trailer, OK?

Just get it over with. Look, I don't want to waste anyone's time here so I'll just make this quick. There's a new trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 has been released, and it's full of all the cheap special effects, clumsy expository dialogue, disturbing sexual politics, and vampire-on-werewolf violence we've all come to expect from the franchise, either firsthand or through that annoying cultural osmosis that happens if you have a Twitter account. Starring Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and a bunch of other people who have no humorous qualities inherent to their appearances, acting styles, or behaviors whatsoever. So just watch it, alright? I watched it, your 13-year-old niece watched it (49 times and counting), your weird coworkers are watching it right now. You don't want to be left out, do you? There is a cultural conversation about vampires and werewolves and possibly-vampric-babies happening and you're going to miss all of it if you DON'T WATCH THIS TRAILER RIGHT NOW!!!


Vampires And Werewolves Fight Colonial Ghosts Or Something In 'Breaking Dawn - Part II' Trailer

The long wait pays off. After this, no more 'Twilight'. A longer look at last week's trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part II is now available to view and fans shou-- WHAT?! Kristen Stewart just tackled a mountain lion in mid-air. Totally T-boned it, too!! I always thought these movies were about whispering and ab muscles. Had I known there would be big cat wrestling, I'd have made an effort to see them. Also of note, Robert Pattinson punches the ground and breaks it and it looks like there's heavy amounts of karate. All kidding aside, those things are normally very awesome. But here they just look super cheap. Don't these movies make all the money? Any chance they could invest more into the special effects and white powder make-up on Michael Sheen? He looks like a Scooby Doo villian.


Disney Reminds Us That ‘Pirates’ Began With Cheesy Animatrons

This new sneak peak for 'Pirates of the Caribbean 4' reminds us it all began as a Disneyland ride, just like two other classic works of cinema: 'Haunted Mansion' and 'The Country Bears'. In an effort to help shove the memories of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3 off your memory plank, Disney has released a new trailer for the film that reminds us of the original source material for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. It all started with a ride at Disneyland, just like two other classic works of cinema: Haunted Mansion and The Country Bears. The new outing is supposed to have more swashbuckling, less head scratching, which is good. After all, Americans come to these movies to see crazy spectacle and Johnny Depp acting like a drunk, gay Keith Richards, damn it. Who wants to also have to follow a crazy plot? On Stranger Tides is about looking for the Fountain of Youth. What if Jack Sparrow finds it and the fountain grants him eternal youth as an animatron, living forever as a creepy robot who can only sort of move?


'Twilight Eclipse' Trailer Needs More Ashley Greene

I'm a little late to the Twilight game on account of my testicles, so I'm sure they've explained how vampires can walk in the sunlight without spontaneously combusting. But how can a red-haired vampire walk in the daylight? Everyone knows that sunshine is the leading cause of death in gingers. That's why I've never understood casting David Caruso in CSI: Miami. They must spend half the production budget on sunblock and the other on The Who royalties. What was this post about again? Oh yeah. Two super-powered, mumbly guys continue to fight over the tightest vagina in the Pacific Northwest while bombshell Ashley Greene somehow gets no attention. I understand that Twilight fans wish that they could be the Bella character so that the shirtless boys awkwardly pledge their love to them for a change. If that were the case, a more realistic line would be: “I’m gonna fight for you… until your heart stops beating... because of sleep apnea. Nice pit stains.” Check out the trailer after the jump.