TLC Takes Spectacle Television To New Heights With 'All-American Muslim'

They opted out of the working title 'Look At These Weird Muslims!' TLC, realizing that they've already done midgets, polygamists, and families that breed like rabbits, have decided to branch out with a show that lets middle America know that there are at least five Muslim families that aren't currently plotting to blow up our monuments, hospitals, and schools. All-American Muslim follows five Muslim families that reside in Dearborn, Michigan, a town with the highest density of Muslims in the United States. In an interview with AOLTV (why, AOLTV?), two of the families shed some light on what the series is and isn't about. Hint: They won't be up to Jersey Shore-like antics, which is a shame, because that's probably the only circumstance under which I would watch this show. Assuming this show accomplishes its goal and depicts the five families as normal, well-adjusted Americans (which I'm sure they are), why the hell would anyone watch it? The only way this would serve as any sort of entertainment is if the subjects were doing very strange things (and by "strange," I don't mean praying to Mecca or practicing Islam). It sounds like a Muslim The Osbournes. Hmmm. Maybe I will watch it. Also, don't be alarmed or unsettled for the U.S. Army recruiting ad that is placed before this video. I'm sure that's....just a coincidence. Geez, TLC, you're really firing on all cylinders here, aren't you? 

Watch Next:

Charlize Theron Nude & Milk-Coated In 'Snow White and the Huntsman' Teaser

Related Content


Here's 'The Change-Up' Trailer You Can Watch With The Whole Family

What this version of the trailer lacks in outright profanity, it more than makes up for in bodily functions. It's a little less tawdry than the original red-band trailer we showed you, but don't worry, there's still liquid poop flying in Jason Bateman's eyes and talk of the lovemaking positions "The Arsenio Hall" and "Arabian Goggles." The Change-Up will cause you to forget everything you ever knew about mind-transfer comedies, which, if you're born after 1985, shouldn't be too difficult. Beyond that, this trailer is pretty similar to the one from before. But don't dismiss it entirely. Let it serve as another reminder that you should never make wishes in front of unfamiliar statues. Because they might grant them. And then you might inherit your friend's body and life, neither of which are as good as Ryan Reynolds'. I promise you.


Florida Couple Is Addicted To Pouring Coffee Up Their Butts

The best part of waking up, is coffee up your butt! I feel torn. Everyone's been posting the Oscars Buzz episode of Between Two Ferns and I had planned to as well. Then, I saw this video about a Florida couple addicted to coffee enemas, and... the heart wants what the heart wants. It's far more important to me to share this than video of Jennifer Lawrence calling Zach Galifianakis fat. Though that was pretty great. Butt-chugging always wins. It is unfortunate that the producers of this show forgot to blur out Mike and Trina's faces.


Jon Hamm Recruits Some Indian Cricket Players In Disney's 'Million Dollar Arm'

'Million Dollar Baby Arm' I only really post this with the wonderful knowledge that next Christmas, this will probably be a pretty desirable gift on DVD, considering it's a Disney film about sports. It also has a name that's very similar to a Clint Eastwood heartbreaker about greedy families and euthanasia. So some clueless aunt or geriatric grandfather will pick up Million Dollar Baby for their nephew or whatever who just started little league, and they'll have to watch Hilary Swank bang her head on a stool, then be essentially put to death in a hospital. And all they will have wanted to is watch Jon Hamm overcome cultural differences in India, then win the World Series or something.


The FBI Recruits Miley Cyrus Because Reasons In 'So Undercover'

You're better than this, Jeremy Piven. Not by much, but still, you're better than this. In her most believable role to date, Miley Cyrus plays a private investigator recruited by the FBI and sent to college in order to keep an eye on a star witness. I don't know why the FBI would employ a private investigator or why they wouldn't put a star witness in protective custody or how changing Miley Cyrus, P.I.'s flannel shirt out for a dress constitutes a makeover or how this movie doesn't feature comic relief from a pet piglet sidekick that covers its eyes with a little pig hoof whenever Miley makes a social faux pas. If any movie deserves a socially-aware piglet sidekick, it's this one. That's on you, screenwriter Allan Loeb.


Weekend What To Watch

It’s a big weekend for HBO, Nick Cage, and Asian kids who like basketball.In Theatres. Bangkok Dangerous. We have Nick Cage. Sex trafficking. Thailand. Guns. What more do you need? It’s a big weekend for HBO, Nick Cage, and Asian kids who like basketball.In Theatres. Bangkok Dangerous. We have Nick Cage. Sex trafficking. Thailand. Guns. What more do you need? Ping Pong Playa There’s a bit of an Asian theme for the only two movies that are being released this weekend that seem worth watching. This one is about a Chinese kid who wants to play pro basketball, but ends up teaching his mom’s ping pong class. We have not seen it yet, so we have no idea if it’s good. I’m guessing that if you are Chinese and you like to play basketball, then it’s your type of movie. On The Tee-Vee Cops- Season 21 Premiere Satuday, Fox. 8/7c. I’m under arrest? Ya’lls is under arrest. But seriously, 21 years on the TV. That’s nuts. True Blood- Series Premiere Sunday, 9pm. HBO. Here’s the premise for the show: “Thanks to a Japanese scientist's invention of synthetic blood, vampires have progressed from legendary monsters to fellow citizens overnight.” See? Science just saved your blood from being eaten. Entourage- Season 5 Premiere Sunday, 10pm. HBO. Ah, the sleaze, the broken families, the hustle, the piles of cash built on bullshit. It’s what makes Hollywood what it is. It’s also what makes this show one of the best things that Hollywood has ever come up with. Now I’m going to go drink myself stupid and watch C-Span while Stan stays sober and sees Bangkok Dangerous.


Sarah Hyland From 'Modern Family' Just Texted To Say I Love You

Keep in mind, she doesn't really love you. Check out this ne Break Original video, I Just Texted to Say I Love You, starring Modern Family's Sarah Hyland. It's just like the song, "I Just Called To Say I Love You", but ya know, all techie and stuff, because calling people is for losers...losers like your grandparents. So help me God, I feel like a real creep staring at Sarah Hyland every time I watch Modern Family. But come to find out, she's 20 years old, so I don't have to feel bad at all! Hooray for small victories!


Watch The First Episode Of 'Girl Crazy'

Written by and starring Elisha Yaffe and Dan Cohen. Considering most of the Screen Junkies staff is made up of former PR reps and current porn addicts, the word "pride" doesn't come up too often 'round these parts. Nonetheless, we take great pride in presenting the first episode of Girl Crazy for your viewing pleasure. Written by and starring Elisha Yaffe and Dan Cohen, Girl Crazy is an original comedy series about shy, neurotic guys and the girls they are too afraid to talk to. If that sounds like it was copied right from the show's website, that's because it was. Like I said, some of us used to be in PR. The show features an ensemble cast including Codi Fischer, Ann Maddox, Holly Prazoff (UCB LA), Alison Becker (Parks & Rec), and Jenna Lyng. More importantly, it's very funny. So watch it, and when you're done, click here to check out some Girl Crazy shorts.


We've Got The Second Season Premiere Of 'Homeland' For You To Watch

It's legal, so it's guilt-free! With last season's finale leaving us with electro-shock therapy and treason of the highest order, last night's Homeland season two premiere was widely those who had Showtime. Those who didn't had to wallow in their own envy and self-pity. Until now. Taking cues from high school drug dealers the world over, Showtime has magnanimously offered "the first one's on us," posting last night's episode on YouTube so that any yahoo with an Internet connection can watch the show and see what the fuss is about. Their gesture also allows self-serving websites like Screen Junkies to embed the video in our site, tricking the most gullible readers into thinking that we're somehow the reason they get to see Homeland for free. It works out pretty well for everyone. Enjoy.