There's A 'King Of Kong' About 'Wreck-It Ralph' Too

We can't all be champions. Apart from drinking beer, this is the best way to spend 28 minutes. Unless you're watching while drinking beer. In which case, you've got it all figured out.

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'Wreck-It-Ralph' Goes Totally 80's

It's the hottest game of 1986! Taking marketing to a world-changing new level, Disney are trying feverishly to implant new memories into our skull wads. As evidenced by this retro-style commercial for "Fix-It-Felix," the videogame at the center of Wreck-It-Ralph. It's well-crafted and entertaining, but the scientists at Disney are going to have to try harder if they intend to beam their propaganda past the my tin foil helmet. Nobody toys with my brain but me.


See A Trailer For 'Doctor Kong', Maybe Get Laid

“I’m playing Donkey Kong so I can get laid." Ever since the popular documentary The King of Kong, America has been clamoring for more documentaries about weirdos who play "Donkey Kong" too much (also movies with "on like Donkey Kong" on the poster). And now, as if in response to that great national call, Doctor Kong: Cutting Up The Competition is loosed on an unsuspecting world. This particular weirdo is Hank Chien, a plastic surgeon who recently got the world record "Donkey Kong" score, making him Donkey Kong World Champion, or something. This title seems to change hands a lot, so I'm not sure who the actual reigning champion is. Chien seems like a really cool and likable person, so I bet this movie will be fun to watch while it slowly gets released as the year goes on. Anyone want to come over and play "Donkey Kong" with me after the movie? I'm not talking about the video game, I mean for real. I have a ton of barrels. And a hostage. (via /Film)


Universal Studios (Orlando) Adds A Duff Beer Garden And Lard Lad Donuts To Its Roster Of 'Simpsons' Eateries

The best thing in Florida since Limp Bizkit left. In case Luigi's Pizza, Krusty Burger, and Moe's Tavern aren't enough to satisfy your whimsical, fictional tastes while trolling around with the masses in Orlando, you can now open your refined palate to donuts and beer. Like a Rockefeller. The collection of eateries/drinkeries is known as Simpson Fast Food Boulevard, and it's a place I'm dying to see, and would undoubtedly be a place I would be dying to leave after about four minutes. Take a look!


First Two Minutes Of 'Rio' Makes Me Reconsider The Ethics Of Bird Hunting

Here's a preview of the animated movie 'Rio.' The upcoming 'Rio' version of Angry Birds for iPhone sounds more promising, because maybe I'll get to destroy these fowl pheasants. Fox just released the first two minutes of their upcoming animated film Rio. The overly cheerful singing, the obnoxiously bright colors, the cute wittle baby bird who's just wearning how to fwy... Now I wish I was a bird, so I'd have the claws to claw my god damn eyes out. If you're really into The Enchanted Tiki Room at Disneyland, and not in a let's-get-high-and-laugh-at-how-retarded-this-is way, then this 3D movie is clearly for you. Rio is directed by Carlos Saldanha, who did all the Ice Age movies and Robots. So after this clip, that's really bad sign #2. However, a few promising elements are soaring above the mess of bird shit. The cast includes Jesse Eisenberg, Neil Patrick Harris and Anne Hathaway. Also, the plot doesn't sound too terrible: “A nerdy macaw who leaves the comforts of his cage in small town Minnesota and heads to Rio de Janeiro. He embarks on the adventure of a lifetime, learning to open himself up to all that life has to offer along the way.” Actually, the coolest sounding news surrounding Rio is that Rovio is making a Rio-themed sequel to their Angry Birds iPhone game. I'm an Angry Birds addict, so the thought of using these cloying birds as living weapons to destroy pigs in towers has me excited. Sexually excited? Let's not go there, but yes. Wait, I just read a little further and apparently you use the original Angry Birds to rescue the characters from Rio. So... now I'm thinking it's time to take my 28 gauge out of the tool shack, cause I'm declaring this bird season. (/Film and TheWrap)


Pee-wee Herman Has A Drinking Problem

Bad things always happen when Pee-wee leaves the playhouse. If you're like me, the combination of the words "Gwyneth Paltrow," "hosting," and"Saturday Night Live" caused you to unplug your television until Sunday morning. Which means you missed this fun Digital Short starring Andy Samberg and Pee-wee Herman. In the short, Samberg coaxes Herman off the milk-only wagon and learns that the beloved children's entertainer has a bit of a problem. No, not that one. A drinking problem this time. Further proof that tequila changes a man. One minute your making ice cream soup with a room full of puppets, the next you're assaulting police officers and respected news anchors. Totally reckless. Some drinking buddies are just bad for one another.


The 'Exodus: Gods And Kings' Trailer Would Like Three Minutes Of Your Time

I'm not saying a Patrick Bateman appearance would be tasteful here, but it sure would be fun. Thank God someone's finally worked up the courage to make a movie about the Bible! Now we just need a film about war and a couple that falls in love and we'll have all of our bases covered. Exodus: Gods and Kings seems to be a bigger undertaking than most films that come out at the holidays, but this one is marketed to Bible folk AND people who love Christian Bale action films. So it's got something for everyone. The film is brought to us by Ridley Scott and will tell the story of Moses and his tribulations in the Old Testament. Look for it on December 12th, right before we forget about this stuff and focus on presents. (And if you think that it's a little ridickey-donkey that Christian Bale was cast as a Middle Eastern Jew from thousands of years ago, we discussed that.)


Jason Momoa Talks About 'Conan', 'Expendables', And Beer

Momoa sounds a little cocky. You'd be cocky too if you were Conan. Superficially, Jason Momoa sounds like a real privileged jerk during his Q&A at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin. Note the "sounds like." For a muscular dude, recently greeted with success, it's easy to dismiss his fame as the result of dumb luck and...maybe dumb person. However, in context, his self-aggrandizing proclamations aren't only legit, but they're somewhat endearing. The guys wants little more than to enjoy his success (He's the first one to ridicule the fact that he was on Baywatch. Cause if he didn't, we would), and to drink two buckets of beer in Austin before staying up all night and catching a flight to New York for more junkets for Conan. Perhaps if this was a higher quality video, it would resonate more. But the fact remains that the guy caught a wave of luck recently, playing a (rather) silent giant in Game of Thrones, and now headlining a potential franchise as Conan. If you're not a fan of the genre or his "acting," it's understandable. But don't fault the guy for playing it too cool while riding a wave of success. Sure. We all hate this type of guy. But if you're will to invest $11 in Conan, or an hour in an episode of Game of Thrones, reserve judgment on the guy that manges to entertain, no matter how big his muscles are, or how long his hair is. In the interest of full disclosure, all SJ employees agree - his hair is too long, and his muscles too big. (Editor's Note: The editor fears Jason Monmoa, and thinks he should wear his hair any way he wants.)


More Spit Takes Than You Can Spit A Drink At

Are you ready for nearly five minutes of cinematic spit takes? I don't think you are, but sometimes you just have to throw yourself into these things head first. The good folks at the Internet (yes, the entire Internet) have never let us down, and this morning is no exception. Are you ready for nearly five minutes of cinematic spit takes? I don't think you are, but sometimes you just have to throw yourself into these things head (or mouth, as it were) first. Enjoy this video, but make sure you're not enjoying a tall glass of milk while watching, or else it might end up sprayed all over the wall. (FilmDrunk)