Last night was the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show. Millions of lonely men worldwide watched while scantily clad women costumed as mythical Christain creatures and Roman slut-butterflies strutted in Miami. Does it get any more American Dream than that? Here are a few observations of the affair, with select pictures to match.
Protect your neck with gold razor wire.
Volunteer to be a part of genetic experiments.
Keep your head warm
Abdominal support is important, especially when naked.
If you hug me, I will CUT you.
You can NEVER have enough straps (for underwear.)
It’s sexy to look like you were mauled by a Finnish parade.