In the heyday of Hollywood cocaine use, a car crash survivor had her story immortalized with the made-for-TV movie, Why Me? So how does some random so-and-so have their story told on film? By having their mouth surgically replaced with their vagina. Yup. And it’s a true story.
Picture it: Anchorage, Alaska, 1968. On her way to work, Air Force nurse Leola May Harmon has her face destroyed when a drunk driver plows into her car. After many reconstructive surgeries, Leola falls in love with her surgeon — who ends up grafting parts of her vagina onto her mouth. Put down that margarita, and read that one carefully again: PARTS OF HER VAGINA ONTO HER MOUTH. Yup — true story all the way, one craftily told in the 1984 Emmy-winning rip-roarer Why Me?, starring ‘70s Movie-Of-The-Week queen Glynnis O’Connor (The Boy In The Plastic Bubble.) With her mouth sewn mostly shut throughout the film, O’Connor’s weird portrayal frequently hits Liz Taylor-style, wide-eyed freakout notes (which are always welcome) — and her medical paramour is played to the hilt by Armand Assante, who waltzes in as if he’s the lead in a hard-boiled neo-noir, making their scenes together a pleasingly piquant study in Off-Kilter Scenery Chewing 101. Toss in a queasy Craig Wasson (Body Double) as the uneasy ex-boyfriend and some real doobie-worthy flashes of unexpected psychedelia, and you’ve got a nice night out at the movies.
Dir. Fielder Cook, 1984, 100 min. [Cinefamily]