'The Rover' Trailer Takes Us Down Under With Robert Pattinson

It's a story of revenge in dysopian Australia. And no, it's not 'Mad Max'. Robert Pattinson, if for no other reasons than his Twilight involvement and relationship with noted twitchy sourpuss Kristen Stewart, should be a pretty hatable guy. Unfortunately, he seems kind of cool, and recently, he's been making some pretty damn good movies when he should just be coasting on more YA fare. In this trailer for The Rover, he plays half a duo (the other half being actual Aussie Guy Pearce) who set out on the men who wronged them in a very bleak and brown Australian countryside. That might be the same thing as the "outback," but I would feel really foolish if I used "outback" wrong, so we'll just say it's a non-urban Australian location to play it safe.

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Cathartic News: Robert Pattinson Gets Beaten Up In ‘Water For Elephants’

If you've ever thought, "it'd be fun to beat the sh*t out of Robert Pattinson," you'll be jealous of a few lucky actors cast in 'Water For Elephants.' If you've ever thought, "it'd be fun to beat the shit out of Robert Pattinson," you'll be jealous of a few lucky actors cast in Water For Elephants. Directed by Francis Lawrence’s (I Am Legend), co-starring Reese Witherspoon, Pattinson tells an Entertainment Tonight reporter (ugh) that he's gonna get his sparkly vampire butt kicked in the film. Anytime there's any sort of love scene or anything, I always end up getting beaten up... Our most romantic moment [in the movie] is me getting beaten up by about ten guys. If you can withstand the full-on "glitz" of ET - I literally cringed all the way through - you can see the whole interview above. If you'd rather see Legally Blonde get into a cat fight, that may or may not happen to Pattinson's new love interest in the movie. However, in real life, hundreds of crazy Team Edward tweens are probably waiting for Witherspoon to let her guard down in a parking lot, where they will mercilessly pounce on her, attempt to suck her blood, then get tazed by her bodyguard, who was just in the Starbucks for, like, a second. Below is the synopsis for Water For Elephants, stampeding over Pattinson and into theaters soon. (Collider) Veterinary school student Jacob (Pattinson) meets and falls in love with Marlena (Witherspoon), a star performer in a circus of a bygone era. They discover beauty amidst the world of the Big Top, and come together through their compassion for a special elephant. Against all odds – including the wrath of Marlena’s charismatic but dangerous husband, August (Christopher Waltz) – Jacob and Marlena find lifelong love.


Robert Pattinson Breaks Circus Law In New ‘Water For Elephants’ Trailer

When you break a circus law, you pay the circus price. When yo break a circus law, you pay the circus price. And circus court is on a fast-moving circus train. Also: circuses. Here's another trailer for the Robert Pattinson / Reese Witherspoon romantic period drama Water For Elephants. In the trailer, we see that Pattinson's parents both die suddenly, so naturally my first reaction was, "does he become a Batman?" Sadly, no. The would-be doctor joins the circus, makes the wife of the circus boss (Witherspoon) a Team Edward die-hard and trouble ensues. Director Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend) helmed the adaptation of author Sara Gruen's book. Water For Elephants drives its clown car into theaters April 22nd. Will Twilight fans in theaters scream "Bella" every time Pattinson kisses Witherspoon? It's a risk I'm not interested in taking.


Robert Pattinson Rides Elephants, Reese Witherspoon

Do you like water? Do you like elephants? Do you like that pale dude from Twilight? Well, two out of three ain't bad, so watch this trailer for Water for Elephants, starring Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz and Reese Witherspoon. Do you like water? Do you like elephants? Do you like that pale dude from Twilight? Well, two out of three ain't bad, so watch this trailer for Water for Elephants, starring Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz and Reese Witherspoon. The film tells the story of an old-timey circus and some dude (Pattinson) who is in love with an elephant (Witherspoon). At least that's what I assume, since I didn't actually watch the trailer. I've been afraid of the circus ever since my parents sold me to one. Wait, a circus is a warehouse where you sew fake Prada handbags, right? Oh. Well just watch this trailer, anyway.


'We Are What We Are' Is Not Your Father's Cannibal Horror Movie

Unless your dad is director Jim MIckle, in which case this is very much your father's cannibal horror film. While it's not at all clear in the cryptic trailer what the plot of the movie is (people missing? small towns? dressing like Arcade Fire?), the film is a remake of the Mexican film Somos Lo Que Hay. nThe film seems to be similar to The Lottery, in which a quaint small town has a secret, and it's really, really bad (the secret, not the film). The original seems to have garnered a bit of acclaim, and while it's not readily apparent in the trailer, the old film is about cannibals, which means this new film will be about cannibals, which means it will be pretty awesome no matter what.


Further Proof That 'The Walking Dead' Pretty Much IS 'Toy Story'

How did we not see this sooner?! There's been a longstanding theory that The Walking Dead's Governor is essentially Toy Story 3's villainous Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear and AMC's zombie series has borrowed more than a few plot points from the Pixar film series. Today comes even more similarities! It's been awhile since I've watched the original Toy Story film, but thanks to the Internet, you can see that The Walking Dead BLATANTLY stole its opening titles from the beloved children's film. Wow. Despicable. Somebody's gonna get sued. How did we not see this sooner?!


'The Thing' Trailer Looks Like A Thing

You didn't expect it to be better than the original, did you? [post-album postid="220329" item="5"] Universal has dropped the trailer for the remake of The Thing. Why they would remake a classic horror film such as John Carpenter's The Thing (and call it a prequel), I have no idea. There is no way it could improve upon the original, which means they're just setting themselves up for failure. The trailer doesn't look awful by any means, it just looks meh. Mary Elizabeth Winstead leads a cast that includes Joel Edgerton and Eric Christian Olsen. Or at least that's who they say they are. Who knows with this THING out there. Side note: why must all horror trailers end with a character holding his or her breath, hoping that a creature/killer doesn't strike from around the corner, and then a creature/killer strikes from around the corner?


'Are You Here' Trailer: Owen Wilson Gets To Be In Movies Again

The feature film debut of 'Mad Men's' Matthew Weiner. For his feature film debut, Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner has made probably the furthest thing from Mad Men. Starring Owen Wilson as a horny weatherman and Zach Galifianakis as the crazy guy, Are You Here seems to hit all of the marks you'd expect in an Owen Wilson/Zach Galifianakis buddy movie but, since its Wiener, this movie will also feature a plot and emotions. After his dad dies, Galifianakis inherits everything and gets into a legal battle with bitter sister, Amy Poehler. Rather than  just murdering a giraffe like he did the last time his father passed away, he leans on Wilson for friendship and support as the legal battle intensifies. Meanwhile Owen Wilson spends the film trying to get on top of the dad's young, hot widow. Despite its creative pedigree, it is an Owen Wilson movie after all.


New Tim And Eric Red-Band Trailer Has Profanity, Robert Loggia

One of them bangs a sex doll. Take a look, why don't you? Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job are making a movie, a fact to which readers of this site are probably hip. What they (you) may not know is that Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie features some sick stuff that these two let out when the lax Standards and Practices guys at Adult Swim aren't around to crack the whip. What kind of sick stuff? Oh nothing really, just disgusting things like JEFF GOLDBLUM and ROBERT LOGGIA! Forehead dildos, and JOHN C. REILLY! Can your stomach take it? I have to cram this piece with as many jokes and one-offs as possible in the hopes of weaseling out of establishing a narrative based on this trailer, a feat that is downright daunting. If someone would like to take a stab at explaining this film in the comments, that would be pretty cool. In the meantime, let the weirdness and profanity wash over you in a soothing wave, with the knowledge that, soon, the weekend will be here.