After having us wait around all day not knowing when a safe time to take a dump would be, the trailer for The Hobbit finally debuted online late tonight. And the verdict is: Peter Jackson has made the Lord of the Rings again. For the most part. The Shire looks the same. Gandalf looks the same. It does seem like there have been some advancements in dwarf make-up. It’s like a rogue’s gallery of weird-looking European men. I feel like I’m on the bus to Brighton Beach.
It’s a fair enough critique. The film does look similar to its predecessors in most ways, but not in all. Notably absent from this teaser were any gay-looking or effeminate men. Thorin Oakenshield is the only new character that stands out, and he looks pretty badass. Whether Bilbo has a male stalker or not remains to be seen (Gollum doesn’t count).