Friday, February 4 by

‘The Dogfather’ Trailer: That’s Right, ‘DOGfather’!!!!

How this movie is ending up in a theater near you and not on ABC Family on a Tuesday afternoon is quite the mystery. Perhaps the momentum of Chris Parnell’s blinding starpower carried it into cinemas. or maybe the president of Bigshoot(?) Productions lost a bet on the “Dancing with the Stars” finale.

In any event, the result is a movie about a dog. That is in the mob for some reason, despite not having any of the human characteristics of Marmaduke or a Beverly Hills Chihuahua. The dog skateboards and wears people-clothes, too, which is a departure from the behavior of most domestic canines.

In the off-chance you would like to know the plot of the movie, here it is. If not, (totally understandable), feel free to skip down to my pithy closing remark. The dog, whose owner is a mob boss, eats the boss’s ring, then runs away. The boss, orders that his henchman retrieve the dog, and consequently the ring, dead or alive. You know, cause he’s evil. The dog finds refuge with a family while his pursuers run into rakes and crap. The film probably ends with the family keeping the dog and the mobsters getting some sort of cartoonish comeuppance.

This film doesn’t look good in any way, but if they went to the trouble of naming the film The Dogfather, and it doesn’t feature at least a cameo by Snoop Dogg, I’m comfortable declaring the film a total loss. (FilmDrunk)

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