Stephen Colbert (whose balls are so big he carries them in a sidecar on weekends) was inspired by Donald Trump‘s Joker-esque proposal that President Obama release his college and passport applications in exchange for $5 million worth of charitable donations. And so, he made an offer to Mr. Trump on last night’s Colbert Report.
“Nation, I am so moved by this generous offer, that I’d like to make an offer of my own. Mr Trump, I will write you a check for $1 million dollars from Colbert Super PAC — you know I’ve got it — to the charity of your choice…Save The Children. Feed The Children. Put The Children on Child Apprentice, whatever…One million actual dollars, if you will let me dip my balls in your mouth. One million.”
Of course, there are conditions.
“But…this dipping — and I hope you’re listening very carefully Mr Trump — this dipping has to be to my and more importantly, my balls’ satisfaction. One caveat…My balls must be in your mouth no later than 5pm October 31st. Nothing would make America happier than to have something going into your mouth than coming out of it.”
Amazing. Though I doubt Trump will do it. He simply doesn’t care enough about the children.