Wednesday, June 22 by

Statham, De Niro, and Owen Just Beating The Holy Hell Out Of Each Other In ‘Killer Elite’ Trailer

The trailer for Killer Elite doesn’t offer much in the way of plot. All the viewer really needs to know is that, for reasons you needn’t worry your pretty little head about, people are just beating the shit out of each other. Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, and Jason Statham all take turns dishing out heaping portions of pain. Initially, Owen forces Statham to rescue his friend and mentor, Robert De Niro. After that nugget of info about 15 seconds into the trailer, they stop with the plot revelations altogether.

And they aren’t really missed. True to the title, the aforementioned three appear to be elite killers, beating each other up while strapped to chairs, strapped in by a seat belt, or, in De Niro’s case, just really, really old. Lest one think this is ridiculous, nonsensical action fare, the trailer informs that the film is based on a true story, which seems very improbable. But Hollywood doesn’t lie, so I’ll be heading to my local library to learn more about this menage a trois of ass-kicking.

In summary, most of this trailer is set to Scorpions’ “Rock You Like a Hurricane.” That’s really all the information you need. This article could have been a lot shorter.

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