Money, Women, And Terrible Teeth: Scorsese's 'The Wolf Of Wall Street' Trailer

Now accepting awards nominations. Now that a schedule change has made it eligible for awards season, Martin Scorsese's The Wolf of Wall Street would like to remind you that Jonah Hill wears crazy Fire Marshall Bill teeth in this movie. What better way to distract from the fact that this film is the true life tale of a total piece of shit whose lack of morality plunged this country into devastating economic turmoil? God, I hope this movie ends with all the characters choking on their own feces.

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'The Wolf Of Wall Street' Trailer Is Here, And It Sure Makes Me Wish I Was Rich

Leo will stop playing rich jerks when people stop clamoring for him to play rich jerks. He's gone from Jack to Cal. Martin Scorsese and his new, younger De Niro, Leo DiCaprio, have teamed up once again to bring us the true story of stock broker Jordan Belfort, a guy who got really rich through questionable means in the early 90's. Like Gatsby, there are boats, polo shirts, and a general boredom with life that is ham-fistedly filled with buttloads of money. And it's got a juxtaposed rap soundtrack as well. Eh, this is probably going to be pretty good.


'The Wolf Of System Of A Down' Mashup Is All Like 'AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!'

If there were an Oscar for karaoke, this would be Leo's year. Someone decided to mash The Wolf of Wall Street with one of System of a Down's "Chop Suey" because the Internet. And let's thank the heavens that they did. It cuts together really well. Between the camera work and Leonardo DiCaprio's enraged yelling, it almost looks like this was Martin Scorcese's original intent. Bravo. Now, get to work on Arnie Grape singing "Aerials". If there were an Oscar for screaming, this would be Leo's year.


Triumph The Insult Comic Dog Makes Wall Street His Bitch

Wall Street is great... for me to poop on! Take one look at the protesters in New York, and it becomes immediately clear that anyone, and I do mean anyone (crazies, hippies, rapists, Russell Brand) can "occupy" Wall Street. But it takes a very special person to make Wall Street his bitch. In fact, it takes a dog. Triumph, the Insult comic Dog, to be specific. On last night's Conan, which has been filming in New York all week, the mean-spirited mutt took to the streets, mocking the vast array of weirdos he found camped out in the financial district. But he also took time to insult the bankers and stock brokers who work in the area. At one point, a giant inflatable Triumph was used to bang the iconic Charging Bull statue from behind (a.k.a. Doggie Style), a symbolic gesture that's sure to resonate with many Americans as well as the hoards of confused Japanese tourists randomly passing by.


Watch The First Gory 8 Minutes Of MTV's 'Teen Wolf'

You should never venture into Dead Body Woods. Place is full of things that kill bodies. [post-album postid="7446" item="1"]The first eight minutes of MTV's "Teen Wolf" are online and they demonstrate why you should never go off into the woods by yourself in search of dead bodies. That's right. You could be attacked by questionable CGI. Or you could get bitten by a wolf which seems to hurt like a bitch. So please, dear reader, stay out Dead Body Woods. That place is full of things that kill bodies. "Teen Wolf" premieres June 5th after the Movie Awards.


Jonah Hill's '21 Jump Street' Trailer Is Dope

Are we ready for the comedic advent of Channing Tatum? The first trailer for Jonah Hill's re-imagining of 21 Jump Street is here. All I have to say is, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA, whoa. WHOA!! This looks pretty funny. Like, I would leave my house to go see this funny. Granted, I shouldn't expect anything less from Clone High and Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs creators Chris Miller and Phil Lord, but Channing Tatum really holds his own here. Silly haircuts? Check. Drug humor? Check. John Woo-style gun ballet? Check. Give the trailer a watch. I'm really looking forward to seeing more. The only part that made me sad was when Ice Cube acknowledged Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, and the Twittersphere. Hopefully at some point in the movie he'll wield an AK.