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McBain! A Simpsons Classic Is Revived In (Mock) Movie Form

If you're a fan of "The Simpsons" you're familiar with the recurring character Rainer Wolfcastle. Someone has taken the time to cut together all of his film parody appearances, giving us a four-minute glimpse at what a full-on McBain movie might look like. If you're a fan of "The Simpsons" you're familiar with the recurring character Rainer Wolfcastle. A long-running Arnold Schwarzenegger parody, Wolfcastle portrayed action hero McBain in the early episodes of the show. Now someone has taken the time to cut together all of McBain's appearances, giving us a four-minute glimpse at what a full-on McBain movie might look like. More than that, though, it's a reminder of just how formulaic, cheesy, and kill-tastically awesome action movies were in the 80s. (/Film)


Robert De Niro And John Cusack Accept Bags Of Cash To Appear In 'Bag Man'

It's the only explanation. After years of doing anything for a paycheck, it's a bit surprising it took this long for Robert De Niro and John Cusack to cross paths. It's like De Niro wasn't even offered Hot Tub Time Machine. Despite De Niro's hairdo, The Bag Man is not a comedy. Yet a thriller that sends John Cusack to a seedy motel to hang out with that actress who will most likely get naked. They don't come right out and say that in the trailer, but it's heavily implied. This trailer shows so much of her skin, you'd think the wardrobe van was stolen.


Thank The Lord For This 25-Minute "Game Of Thrones' Recap Video

Something about the complex nature of Game of Thrones plus an inability to comprehend much of anything on Sunday nights has left many with no idea what's going on heading into the GoT premiere this weekend. Lots of stuff going on. Stuff that I can't spoil, but this video sure can. So take a look (a 25-minute look, but that's still better than re-watching the series because you were on your iPad the whole time it aired) and get up to speed for the big premiere. Historically the show doesn't show much mercy to those who can't keep up, so use everything at your disposal.


8-Bit Ripley Looks Totally Hot In Lost 'Aliens' Game

If you owned the classic Nintendo in the 80s and love 'Aliens,' your jaw will drop at this game project that got lost in space. There's a lot of talk now about the new Alien-ish movie. However, if you owned the classic Nintendo in the 80s and love Aliens, your jaw will drop at this game project that got lost in space. In 1987, Japanese game publisher Square, who later created the RPG series Final Fantasy, which we're sure has inspired more than one chocobo furry sex orgy at Dragon*Con, got the license to make an Aliens game. Unfortunately, the game was never released on the NES, only on the Japanese Famicom Disk System. The recently rediscovered game is documented in the video above from 1up. It shows us what we've all been missing. The biggest thing, in my opinion, is the super-sexy Sigourney Weaver sprite. She has ducked and float-leaped into my heart. If the 8-bit version of Ripley came into my bedroom wearing a pink jump suit and big boots, brandishing a laser gun, I wouldn't turn her down. Maybe that's partly because of my fear of laser guns, but still. 5-year-old me would have declared 8-bit Ripley his girlfriend, and once again, nobody would talk to me at recess. (1up)


Catsterpiece Classics Presents 'Downton Tabby'

From the makers of 'Upstairs Downstairs... With a Sh*tload of Cats'. Downton Abbey with cats. It's got sex, drama, and most importantly, a cat wearing a pretty little dress. And this cat is waaaaaaay cuter than Lady Edith. Not only is this adorable, but it perfectly sends up the events of the show. However, I do feel a bit ripped off that we didn't get to see a cat wearing a tuxedo or an O'Brien kitty wig. I'm hoping the Christmas special fulfills these needs and reinvigorates my faith in the show.


Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just This 'FIFTY SHADES OF GREY' TRAILER?

The time is now. After the waiting, all that time spent not reading the book, politely reporting on casting shakeups, we've got definitive proof that Fifty Shades of Grey is coming our way, this Valentines Day. The proof is this sexy trailer set to a cover/remix of Beyonce's "Crazy in Love," a song that's now 11 years old. Yup. The trailer touches on only the broadest points of the story (reporter, sexy billionaire, f*cking) but it gets the message across. And after dutifully looking it up, because I assumed a movie this mass-marketed would be rated PG-13, it seems the producers are being a little more aggressive, giving us an R version and an NC-17 version, both of which better have lots of breasts. Enjoy the trailer, you perverts.


Hot Girl Halloween Kills Supercut

Horror movies sure do like to kill off young women. If you're anything like me, you enjoy watching beautiful young women being systematically stalked and violently dismembered like they're nothing more than a piece of beef. Wait a second; I don't like that at all. But some people must. How else do you explain this supercut of hot girls being snuffed out in slasher films? It's not like we had a shortage of content to choose from. Sometimes it's more humorous than scary, and sometimes it's downright disturbing. But no matter which way you slice it, almost every horror movie has at least one hot girl getting murdered. Well, if you're bored with seeing hot chicks getting butchered, it's time to take matters into your own hands. No, I'm not telling you to start killing women I am, however, telling you to check out's Halloween Scare Contest, where you can enter your own scary video for a chance to earn up to $1000. Check out the link above for more details.