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Bruce Jenner Is So Lonely In 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians Without The Kardashians'

This version is far more engaging. If you groan and roll your eyes every time the Kardashians are on your TV, now you can finally enjoy Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Well, enjoy it more than its original state. By deleting Kim and her immediate family from the show, Bruce Jenner is permitted to wander around and converse with the open air. To be fair, the actual show probably has more than enough B-roll of that to warrant a spin-off.


Kanye's Half-Assed 'American Psycho' Parody Is Now Out

No surprises here. Not even positive ones. It stars two series regulars from the Kardashians TV show and lives, Scott Disick, and a guy named Jonathan Cheban, both of whom appear to be just terrible human beings and actors. Nonetheless, it's Kanye, so we have to scope it out to see if there's anything stupid-crazy-funny here. There's not, so let's just keep moving about our day, knowing that the next one will be better, and probably won't be a trite parody that's been done a million times before. Also, buy Yeezus. It's really good.


Sly. Khal Drogo. An Axe Fight. 'Bullet To The Head' UK Trailer

We don't get enough huge dudes killing each other with axes in movies these days. Slyvester Stallone has got it all figured out. He used to star in movies where he'd play a man out for the head of his ridiculously hot wife or girlfriend's captor. Now that he's in his mid-sixties and can still reduce bad guys to pulp and mulch, he's had to tweak the formula to hunt down the man who has kidnapped his ridiculously hot daughter. The only real loss here is it presents less opportunity to see the hot daughter (in this case Sarah Shahi) topless. Unless Sly suddenly wanted to get arty and weird at this point in his career. But we're not there yet. Just stick to axe fights and liquefying henchman with big guns.


NBC Skips 9/11 Observance To Discuss Kardashian Boob Job

It's not even a hot Kardashian's boob job. It's the mom's. Gross. While other stations were acknowledging the fallen 11 years ago on an terrible Tuesday morning, NBC's Today decided to take things in an altogether different direction. By discussing with Kris Jenner (the Kardashian mom) her boob job. Both are terrifying and sad, but in very different ways. I'm not one for the over-the-top observance of 9/11 by many outlets, but I'm also not one for hearing a Kardashian family member speak, ever, so this morning was lose-lose for me. Never forget (about Kris Jenner's breast implants).


Behold, The Trailer For Neill Blomkamp's 'Elysium'

How do you like these space apples? Neill Blomkamp, who made his debut with an inventive sci-fi film about a man leveling out class inequality with the aid of advanced weaponry, is back with Elysium, a different inventive sci-fi film about a man leveling out class inequality with the aid of advanced weaponry. In the future, the wealthy live free of poverty and illness on the space station Elysium. While the rest of us poor mooks live on Earth like a bunch of sick losers. Matt Damon stars as an ex-con on Earth who uses a weaponized exoskeleton to aid his mission to break into Elysium, rip killer robots apart with his bare hands, and find a cure for the cancer that is rapidly


James Van Der Beek Shows Us His O-Face

We all thought that James Van Der Beek's best days were behind him, but we were all terrible, rotten fools. We all thought that James Van Der Beek's best days were behind him, but we were all terrible, rotten fool d*ckheads. Dawson was wise enough to realize that we'll always remember him as Dawson, and never forget him crying like a pussy in that one (?) episode of "Dawson's Creek." So he's decided to use his pain to his advantage. Now we have The revolutionary new site that will change the way we make fun of people forever. Thank you Dawson, James Van Der Beek. You matter to us now.