Links Away: Dinoshark Eats Everybody
Watch as the SyFy Channel puts Jurassic Park to shame
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Watch as the SyFy Channel puts Jurassic Park to shame
It's kinda like going on a 70-minute road trip with two hilarious British friends. It's exactly like that, actually. The Trip is essentially a movie about two comedians hanging out. Shot as a BBC miniseries, a camera crew followed around Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon, as they adopted amplified versions of their personas for the cameras. (Think "Curb Your Enthusiasm," but good-natured.) The miniseries has been boiled down to a 70-minute documentary/feature that follows the duo around as they tour England, eating, drinking, and doing nothing in particular. No word on when, if ever, the full series will come stateside. In meantime enjoy some killer impressions over dinner. The Trip hits theaters June 10. "She was only 16 years old." (Watch it. You'll see.)
Based on a true story. In the heyday of Hollywood cocaine use, a car crash survivor had her story immortalized with the made-for-TV movie, Why Me? So how does some random so-and-so have their story told on film? By having their mouth surgically replaced with their vagina. Yup. And it's a true story. Picture it: Anchorage, Alaska, 1968. On her way to work, Air Force nurse Leola May Harmon has her face destroyed when a drunk driver plows into her car. After many reconstructive surgeries, Leola falls in love with her surgeon — who ends up grafting parts of her vagina onto her mouth. Put down that margarita, and read that one carefully again: PARTS OF HER VAGINA ONTO HER MOUTH. Yup — true story all the way, one craftily told in the 1984 Emmy-winning rip-roarer Why Me?, starring ‘70s Movie-Of-The-Week queen Glynnis O’Connor (The Boy In The Plastic Bubble.) With her mouth sewn mostly shut throughout the film, O’Connor’s weird portrayal frequently hits Liz Taylor-style, wide-eyed freakout notes (which are always welcome) — and her medical paramour is played to the hilt by Armand Assante, who waltzes in as if he’s the lead in a hard-boiled neo-noir, making their scenes together a pleasingly piquant study in Off-Kilter Scenery Chewing 101. Toss in a queasy Craig Wasson (Body Double) as the uneasy ex-boyfriend and some real doobie-worthy flashes of unexpected psychedelia, and you’ve got a nice night out at the movies. Dir. Fielder Cook, 1984, 100 min. [Cinefamily] I so hope the doctors do the same thing to Tracy Morgan. (h/t FilmDrunk)
He's still not as bad as a self-described "foodie." Ugh.
Spoiler: It's not like the book. Diehard fans of World War Z (the book) got all up in arms when they found that the "oral history" aspect of the book was being forsaken because it would have cost a metric shitload of money to produce twenty-odd vignettes around the world. It understandable that a movie studio would diminish the breadth of scope of the novel and focus it a little more for the purposes of narrative and cost. However, this trailer shows that the film became more or less the story of Brad Pitt's character and his family, and looks sort of like Outbreak meets Independence Day. It's a departure, and seems to nullify what made the book so special, but the film still looks good, though in a much more conventional way. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read the book. It's terrific, and is an amazing narrative and story, regardless of whether or not you give a damn about zombies.
It took a lot of complicated effects to make this movie look so simple. While Black Swan appears to be a pretty straightforward film with minimal special effects (webbed toes, feathers), the truth is that it take a lot of special effects to make it look so stark. I mean, who really thought it was Natalie Portman doing all that dancing? Besides me, of course. Arnofsky did what mean big-budget directors can't - make the audience unaware of special effects. This demo reel reveals many of the techniques that went into makin Black Swan such an understated yet striking film. Reflections of cameramen were removed from dance studi mirrors, lots of "head replacements" took place, and animated tattoos were placed on Mila Kunis' back while she "kissed" Ms. Portman. Also, Vincent Cassel died 17 days into filming and they had to use a CGI representation of him. Just kidding. I think. (/Film)
Notice I said "man" and not, "picky seven-year old." If you've got 15 spare minutes and want to feel like a health nut even though your hands are covered in Cheetoh dust, I suggest you watch this Vice documentary on a 38 year-old man who doesn't eat anything but cheese pizza with extra sauce all day long. Extra sauce? What sort of picky eater are you? It warrants mentioning that if you're looking for a chuckle and an opportunity to mock the guy for having the dining habits of a four-year old, you might want to pass. He's got diabetes and denies that it's caused by his eating habits, even though that he admits that diabetes would be worth it. Kind of a bummer, actually. Anyway, if you wanted a kick in the ass to get a bowl of quinoa for lunch instead of a French dip, this is probably it.
F*ck. Bryan Cranston is done playing the bad guys. Now he's playing a surrogate parent to your child, reminding your child that f*ck, man, eat your food. The book and audiobook from author Adam Mansbach, is now being read aloud by Bryan Cranston, after the initial installment was written by none other than the king of f*ck, Sam Jackson. So, your child can listen to Cranston's soothing voice while being reminded You Have to Fucking Eat. Of course, this guy is really writing books for angry, embittered parents who resent their kids for not behaving like adults. But embittered adults (that is to say, all adults) LOVE Bryan Cranston, who played a pretty embittered adult in a TV show once. So if you don't eat your food, Heisenberg is coming for you. And he's the danger. Maybe we can get Michael Shannon to read, Wipe Your Own Ass, Child next.
It's really hard to follow and features no jokes. That said, it's still better than 'The Cleveland Show'. I don't get it.
Written by and starring Elisha Yaffe and Dan Cohen. Considering most of the Screen Junkies staff is made up of former PR reps and current porn addicts, the word "pride" doesn't come up too often 'round these parts. Nonetheless, we take great pride in presenting the first episode of Girl Crazy for your viewing pleasure. Written by and starring Elisha Yaffe and Dan Cohen, Girl Crazy is an original comedy series about shy, neurotic guys and the girls they are too afraid to talk to. If that sounds like it was copied right from the show's website, that's because it was. Like I said, some of us used to be in PR. The show features an ensemble cast including Codi Fischer, Ann Maddox, Holly Prazoff (UCB LA), Alison Becker (Parks & Rec), and Jenna Lyng. More importantly, it's very funny. So watch it, and when you're done, click here to check out some Girl Crazy shorts.