Just Watch The New 'Twilight' Trailer, OK?

Just get it over with. Look, I don't want to waste anyone's time here so I'll just make this quick. There's a new trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 has been released, and it's full of all the cheap special effects, clumsy expository dialogue, disturbing sexual politics, and vampire-on-werewolf violence we've all come to expect from the franchise, either firsthand or through that annoying cultural osmosis that happens if you have a Twitter account. Starring Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and a bunch of other people who have no humorous qualities inherent to their appearances, acting styles, or behaviors whatsoever. So just watch it, alright? I watched it, your 13-year-old niece watched it (49 times and counting), your weird coworkers are watching it right now. You don't want to be left out, do you? There is a cultural conversation about vampires and werewolves and possibly-vampric-babies happening and you're going to miss all of it if you DON'T WATCH THIS TRAILER RIGHT NOW!!!