'John Carter' Officially Has A Trailer

Not only can he breathe on Mars, but he can kick serious ass on Mars. The official trailer for John Carter (née of Mars) is here, which means it's time to take the script for Gladiator and add skinny aliens to it. Taylor Kitsch stars as a Confederate captain who's just okay at fighting in the Civil War. However, he's beamed to Mars where his powers become that of legend. Soon he is leading the warring nations of Mars against one another to help overthrow a menacing threat. No word on whether he's pro or anti Martian slavery, but he's got a spotty track record. Also, there's no explanation as to why they don't believe in shirts on Mars. John Carter is directed by Andrew Stanton and opens in theaters March 9th, 2012.

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'John Carter' Gets His Ass To Mars In First Teaser

John Carter must save Mars. For some unknown reason. [post-album postid="220228" item="7"]Our first look at John Carter is a lot more somber than you'd think. It stars Taylor Kitsch as a Civil War soldier mysteriously beamed to Mars, which looks like a good place to cook meth. Fate brings the soldier to the dying world and it's believed he may be the only hope of saving it. He should play up that angle, if he's smart. Did you get a load of that princess? That's a hot Martian who really wants saving. Hours and hours worth of saving. You can see John Carter breaking Michael Jordan's jumping around on alien planets record when the film opens in theaters March 9th, 2012.


'The Martian' Trailer: Matt Damon Burning Out His Fuse Up There Alone

An edge of your seat thriller about doing science. In The Martian, Matt Damon once again plays an astronaut left stranded with little hope of rescue. But this time he's pretty likable and far less murder-y. During a space station evacuation, an accident strands Damon's Mark Watney on Mars which, according to TripAdvisor, is impossible to survive. With his chances slim, he sets out to make Mars habitable for the for years it will take rescue to arrive. Meanwhile, we're also told the story of his crew mates who risk their lives to save him. Which makes me feel pretty bad. I won't even help my co-workers get a cab.


See John C. Reilly's Leading Man Face In 'Terri' Trailer

John C. Reily in a quirky indie comedy. Believe it or not! Actor/doctor John C. Reilly, when he's not working with heavyweights like Martin Scorsese Paul Thomas Anderson, and Adam Sandler, loves a good comedy. Not only does he frequently lend his name and handsome leading man parts to movies like Terri, but he's also the creator of the immortal comic creation Dr. Steve Brule from "Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!" But unfortunately this trailer is for Terri (fake-out!). It's a pretty funny trailer, and keep an eye out for Creed (from "The Office," not the band) towards the end. Based on this trailer, I think Terri is definitely going to be worth watching. I'd still like a Steve Brule movie more, though.


John Oliver Slams The NCAA And March Madness In This 20-Minute Rant

Oliver tells us what we already knew: The NCAA exploits unpaid athletes for its own gain. Tis the season for March Madness and lots and lots of college basketball. Last Week Tonight with John Oliver took notice and ran a pretty epic twenty-minute rant on the state of the NCAA and student athletes. What's most remarkable is that every point Oliver makes in his monologue is fairly well-grounded and true. You might not have the inclination to get after 20 minutes of preaching, but it's worthwhile to check in on for just a few minutes. If you had any tolerance for the NCAA, be prepared to say goodbye to it. It seems the tides are quickly turning against the NCAA, so we'll see if any of these studies serve as a death blow in the near future.


John Carpenter Emerges with The Ward, Now Can Go Away Again

By all accounts, John Carpenter has been off his game for the past, I don't know, 20 or so years. Consequently, his hiatus during the past nine hasn't been met with too much public outcry. By all accounts, John Carpenter has been off his game for the past, I don't know, 20 or so years. Consequently, his hiatus during the past nine hasn't been met with too much public outcry. Judging from the reviews of his latest film, The Ward, at the TIFF, that sentiment is unlikely to change in the near future. Reviews of The Ward are unique in that they accuse Carpenter of being derivative of himself, which could be seen as both a  blessing and a curse. His techniques harken back to his 1970's heyday of films such as Starman, Halloween, and Escape from New York, but, like a copy of a copy, the word on the street is that The Ward just isn't that sharp, rarely leaving convention to tell a story the plot of which has been recycled early and often. The film begins, as many horror movies do, with a half-naked woman named Kristen (Amber Heard) running through the woods. She is eventually caught by authorities and thrown into a psychiatric ward in response to a number of fires she had set. Once institutionalized, she is haunted by the ghosts of a former patient and stumbles on to a mystery as to what became of the former patients. Jump scares abound as Kristen negotiates the hospital, still half-naked, we pray. Much of the context sounds painfully derivative of not only Carpenter's work, but many of the B-grade psychological thrillers that have trickled out in recent years. No US release date is set for the film, but the movie drops in Britain on January 21st. (/Film)


John C. Reilly Is The Best Dad In 'We Need To Talk About Kevin' Trailer

Except that he raises a psychopath. Oops. On a mission to bum us all out, Lynne Ramsay has finally adapted Lionel Shriver's novel, We Need To Talk About Kevin. Tilda Swinton stars as a mother recounting the events that lead up to her son massacring his high school classmates and teachers. Though you wouldn't completely get that sense from this trailer. It's played up as more of a whimsical tale of new parents raising a little asshole. It seems that from the time he is born, Kevin hates his mother but loves his dad, played by John C. Reilly. In all honesty though, who could dislike that Steve Brule?


Robert De Niro And John Cusack Accept Bags Of Cash To Appear In 'Bag Man'

It's the only explanation. After years of doing anything for a paycheck, it's a bit surprising it took this long for Robert De Niro and John Cusack to cross paths. It's like De Niro wasn't even offered Hot Tub Time Machine. Despite De Niro's hairdo, The Bag Man is not a comedy. Yet a thriller that sends John Cusack to a seedy motel to hang out with that actress who will most likely get naked. They don't come right out and say that in the trailer, but it's heavily implied. This trailer shows so much of her skin, you'd think the wardrobe van was stolen.


John Oliver, Nick Offerman, And Jon Benjamin Make Fun Of Home Depot And Lowe's

There's so much to make fun of! Last Week Tonight with John Oliver has so far made its biggest inroads with his weekly rants have gone viral. Every week's a different topic, and in light of the approaching holiday season, he got together some comedy heavyweights to skewer Lowe's, Home Depot, OSH, and those other gargantuan home improvement stores. The whole thing kicks off with a discussion of OSH's use of robots to assist customers, and the conceit gets funnier from there. Watch Nick Offerman and Jon Benjamin show those corporate bigwigs what's what.