Jason Vorhees Visits His Agent

It's funny because he enjoys killing people. Someone has to answer for Freddy vs. Jason.

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Jason Statham Kills Some Dudes in 'The Mechanic' Trailer

In the film, Statham plays a mechanic, but not the kind of mechanic that fixes cars and stuff. He's the kind that fixes people's heads...with bullets. Could this finally be the year that Jason Statham gets his first Oscar nomination? If the trailer for The Mechanic is any indication, no. However, he should definitely be nominated for "The Actor Most Likely to Give You a Non-Homosexual Man-Crush Boner" award. There is such a thing as a non-homosexual man-crush boner, right? And they do give awards for them, right? In the film, Statham plays a mechanic, but not the kind of mechanic that fixes cars and stuff. He's the kind that fixes people's heads...with bullets. Wait a minute, that's not a mechanic at all. What an irresponsible title!


The 'Hitman: Agent 47' Trailer is Here Because We Learned Nothing From the Original 'Hitman'

Someone put a bullet in this franchise already. "He’s stronger, faster, more intelligent than other people." So sayeth Spock (Zachary Quinto) about midway through the first trailer for Hitman: Agent 47, a.k.a the reboot of the movie no one wanted to see when it starred someone we actually knew back in 2007. Clearly, Quinto was not referring to anyone involved in this ill-conceived remake while delivering that horrible line of dialogue, as the trailer for Agent 47 manages to cram more cliches into two and a half minutes than its box office bomb of a predecessor was able to do in an hour and a half. A slow motion, CGI gunfight set to one of today's most popular songs? Check. A woman swimming topless in a pool? Check. Oh, and did I mention that Zachary Quinto delivers the line "He’s stronger, faster, more intelligent than other people" with 100% seriousness? Because yeah, that too. Check out the trailer for Hitman: Agent 47 above. It looks like a pile of sh*t, but plenty of things 'splode in it.


Enjoy The 'Great Gatsby' Trailer Sans 3D

Spoiler alert. Jay Gatsby was working as a double agent for Abu Nazir. When adapting one of the few great American novels, it's important to use bleeding-edge technology so the metaphors don't just figuratively fly at you, but literally as well. *ZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOM* "THE HOLLOWNESS OF THE AMERICAN DREAM" *VROOOOOOOOOM* "DUALITY OF MAN!!!!" And so on. I apologize to Mr. Gunnin for only knowing two apt literary themes for Gatsby. Too busy living my life in high school, I guess. So here's Tobey, Leo, and Mrs. Marcus Mumford doing that thing where they're really important, acting in a period piece and whatnot.


Ben Foster Bites Jason Statham's Style in 'The Mechanic' Trailer

The trailer for The Mechanic has all the hallmarks of a Jason Statham film -- cars, guns, explosions, unintelligle growl-mumbles, and the Cowgirl Position. A remake of the 1972 original, Statham steps into the Charles Bronson role. Except in this version, women aren't disgusted by the thought of touching the lead actor. Ben Foster co-stars as his ward in the killing people for money game, which appears to be an industry where you don't want the other guy knowing your trade secrets. Much like blogging (nothing like blogging). The film opens December 15th and also stars Donald Sutherland and Christa Campbell, who you more than likely know from the very important film, Cool Dog.  Watch the trailer after the jump....


'Annie' Trailer Shows Willow Smith Enjoying The Benefits Of A Really Rich Dad

I wonder what she's drawing from to convey that? The Annie remake was circulating for a very long time, with most of the cast and producers dropping in and out. With the second trailer having just been released, I think we can assume that it's on its way. We've got Jamie Foxx as "Benjamin Stacks," which is a pretty cool Daddy Warbucks proxy-name. We've got Cameron Diaz playing...someone. And we've got real-life underprivileged orphan Willow Smith playing a character who gets fast-tracked to easy street with a larger than life father figure. It's got something for everyone! Also, as the embed shows, you can Shazam this trailer for additional bonus footage, which is weird, but whatever. Annie hits theaters on December 19th, 2014. Fun for the whole nepotistic family!


In This 'Pound Of Flesh' Clip, JCVD Tracks Down The People Who Stole His Organs

An organ-less Jean-Claude Van Damme taking to the streets is terrifying. Do you like Jean-Claude Van Damme? Nevermind. Just keep reading regardless of how you would have answered this. He's stepping out in a new, slightly less self-aware film called Pound of Flesh, in which the Belgian action star wakes up in the familiar tub full of ice, only to discover his kidney has been jacked. There's a wrinkle to this otherwise run-of-the-mill organ theft story: HIS DYING NIECE NEEDS THAT KIDNEY! They pissed off the wrong aging Belgian action star this time. Maybe he could just go down this route: (THR)


Jason Statham's Many Jobs: Supercut

He's like a British James Bond. You could say Jason Statham is the hardest working man in action films, and you'd probably be right. There's no way this guy's resume could fit on one page like your career counselor said it should. And his references? A veritable who's who of law enforcement agents, sexy women, and criminal kingpins. He might not be suited for Wall Street, but if you need a shady job done and done right, you might want to get a headhunter to track down one of the many characters of Jason Statham.