If 'Full House' Were A Horror Movie

A lot of strange doings in that house on the hill. If this Full House Without Michelle video posited that Danny Tanner could be insane, this video does a damn fine job of putting the final nail in that coffin. This out-of-context edit turns World's Best Dad Danny Tanner into World's Creepiest Oh My God He's A Monster Call The Police Dad. Honestly, in hindsight the Tanner household was terrifying and weird and that's not even taking into account Uncle Joey's woodchuck puppet. No wonder Stephanie got into meth.

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Watch The Making Of 'The Simpsons' Gingerbread House

The greatest video you'll ever see while watching this video. We thought that since you've been pretty good so far (but well short of "great"), you are entitled to a Christmas present from Screen Junkies. So here you go. It's a video featuring a fairly half-assed construction of a gingerbread replica of the most famous cartoon house in the world, that of the Simpson family hailing from Springfield. So watch this brief, vaguely interesting video of a crappy house being made. PS - This is also your birthday gift this year. Don't blame us. Blame Obama.


The First Full Trailer For 'Jurassic World' Is Here And Actually Shows Some Dinosaurs

All these years and they still haven't been able to create friendly dinosaurs. Ridiculous. We finally have a trailer that gives us a sense of how Jurassic World is going to go down, and it's got some unexpected surprises in it. First off, it reads more like a scary film than a big epic film like the original did. Of course, so did Jurassic Park III, so that's not necessarily a good thing. But, it's got Chris Pratt, which IS a good thing. It's hard to deny the film is different, but it's got some campy-fun lines tossed in there, so I'm guessing that this will have a fair amount of appeal out of the gate. Whether or not it lives up to it predecessors is another story. (Deadline)


'Jurassic Park: The High Heels Edition'

It's the 'Jurassic Park' films you know and love as you've never seen them before. With NON. STOP. HEELS. If you already own the Jurassic Park box set, you can go ahead and throw it in the trash. Because the new Jurassic Park Box Set: High Heels Edition is the only box set you'll ever need. Jurassic World has dominated the summer box office. Thanks in no small part to Bryce Dallas Howard's Claire and the cute way she spent the entire movie in high heels. Calling the shots at the park of the future? In high heels. Running for her life from dinosaurs? In high heels. Being portrayed as a sexist gender stereotype? In high heels. Universal knows a good opportunity when they see it, and they are capitalizing on the attention. It's the Jurassic Park films you know and love with NON. STOP. HEELS.


Elizabeth Olsen Has A Crappy Vacation In 'Silent House' Trailer

Rest and relaxation my foot. After a few breakout hits at Sundance, everyone wants Elizabeth Olsen these days. So much so that she's being stalked all over the place. In this trailer for Silent House, her dad is completely Facebook stalking her and then to make matters worse there's someone or something inside her summer house trying to attack her. This horror film is drawing rave reviews which means it must have a gimmick. Shot on the cheap as one continuous take, Silent House is a horror tale told in real time. Which means the viewer is essentially front row center as the main character spends the film trying to escape while more and more terrifying mysteries are brought into light. The film was sold to Lionsgate for $2 million after building good buzz at Sundance. That may not seem like a lot of profit in movie terms but keep in mind, they didn't need to hire an editor.


Daniel Radcliffe Finds World's Creepiest House In 'The Woman In Black' UK Trailer

And there's a poop-covered kid. Now that Harry Potter is old enough for keggers, Daniel Radcliffe is also old enough for horror movies. In this new The Woman In Black UK trailer, he wanders around the world's creepiest house. It's bad enough that it's infested with ravens, but ghosts too? Chairs that rock themselves. That's pretty creepy. Screaming images of your poop-covered son? I'd be so out of that place. It's like, NO THUNKS, GHOSTS! NOT EVEN!! For more background, Radcliffe stars as a young lawyer who travels to the English coast to settle the affairs of a recently deceased woman. And get his ass haunted in the process. The Hammer Films production was written by Kickass and X-Men: First Class's Jane Goldman and directed by Eden Lake's James Watkins.


Daniel Craig Freaks Out In 'Dream House' Trailer

He struggles with the problems of home ownership. Jim Sheridan is back on the scene with Dream House, another odd entry to his list of latter films. After his Oscar nominated In America, Sheridan naturally went off and made a movie starring 50 Cent. He then directed Brothers, which wasn't so much bad as it was an unnecessary remake. Now comes Dream House, a psychological thriller starring Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz that far too closely resembles Shutter Island. A man moves into a home with his wife and kids only to discover that the previous residents were murdered there. Instead of first bitching out the real estate agent for not utilizing full disclosure, he delves head first into a tangled mystery that brings his sanity into question. If you need other questions answered, just watch the trailer. It pretty much gives away everything.


'Dumber And Dumber' Gets Edited Into A Touching Drama

In a world where two men, driving a sheepdog, leave everything they've ever known in pursuit of love... If you thought that Dumb and Dumber was a good film, but would have stood to drop some of that goofy nonsense and play it straight, we've got a trailer for you, weirdo. Someone (we'll just call them "the Internet") recut scenes from the famous Farrelly Brothers comedy to make it appear as though it's closer to Terms of Endearment than Ace Ventura.