'Hercules' Trailer: They Keep Pulling Him Back In

Hercules just wants to chill. All Hercules wanted was a simple life where he could chill and stare at his true love's butt and not have to worry about killing any giant monsters or demon warrior things. Well, Hercules, you can't always get what you want. Some jerk gods decide that a civilized Hercules is no good for anyone and they kill his family, setting him on the well-trodden action hero path for vengeance. This trailer points out that we might have to sit through ten or so minutes of Hercules figuring himself out but the rest is all monster-killing so plan your pee break accordingly.

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'Hercules' Trailer: The Rock Rockin' A Lion On His Noggin

Before Hercules was a legend, he was a man. A man that traveled around and murdered the sh*t out of giant animals. Before Hercules was a legend, he was a man. A man that traveled around and murdered the sh*t out of giant animals. This time, The Rock stars as the hulking demigod with distracting white teeth while Brett Ratner directs the amount of baby oil that should be rubbed into his muscles. This story centers on the depressing period in Hercules's life following his completion of the Twelve Labors where he wandered around Greece working as a mercenary-for-hire. It reminds me of that time I worked in a deli straight out of college. Yes, not quite the same as slaughtering The Cerberus but YOU try slicing all those onions.


'Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance' Trailer Is An Improvement

Much better than the first attempt. Here's our first look at what Crank directors Mark Nevaldine and Brian Taylor cooked up for Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance. There's no shortage of crazy here. However, there is a shortage of restraint. On the one hand, the action looks pretty cool in the over-the-top way that you'd expect, but then you're treated to seeing Ghost Rider eat and regurgitate bullets before peeing a stream of fire. I guess Nicolas Cage didn't get that out of his system in Bad Lieutenant.


New 'Vacation' Trailer Raises The Dog Pee Sandwich Bar

Rusty Griswold is going to Wally World even if it murders him. If you're seeking to revitalize a comedy franchise like the Vacation films, you've got to up the gross out comedy ante to contend with today's offerings. And that's what has lead us Rusty Griswold and family bathing in raw sewage. The original series switched out its Rusty and Audrey characters in order to keep their ages consistent. This new series may have to switch out the kids for health reasons.


See A Trailer For ‘Colombiana’ And Try To Figure It Out

A mystery, wrapped in an enigma, ensconced in a trailer. Here's the trailer for Colombiana, starring Zoe Saldana. It appears to be a revenge movie, and this trailer is taking revenge on my eyes. It's a huge dose of sensory overload, but I'm digging it all the same. And as if the trailer weren't evidence enough that it's going to be a stylish thriller, it's produced by Luc Besson. So yeah, it should be "cool," at the very least. Here's a plot synopsis: 'Colombiana' is set in Latin America and the U.S. Saldana would play a young woman who, after witnessing her parents’ murder as a child in Bogota, grows up to be a stone-cold assassin. She works for her uncle as a hitman by day, but her personal time is spent engaging in vigilante murders that she hopes will lead her to her ultimate target: the mobster responsible for her parents’ death. Trailer's cool, so movie might be good too. I'll probably be there.


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George Clooney And Hugh Laurie Stare Up At Things In The 'Tomorrowland' Trailer

This trailer doesn't exactly explain what 'Tomorrowland' is, but it's a start. A lot of people have been clamoring about what the amassed talents of Brad Bird, Disney, and George Clooney will bring to us in Tomorrowland. Well, last night, we got another look as Disney gave us something of a teaser of what to expect. We can expect Dr. House, gears, rockets, and very flattering space uniforms. Color me excited. Other than that, it looks like a pretty epic sci-fi film, but the plot details elude us. It's a good thing event movies like this don't hinge on plot details. They hinge on rockets, inspired music, and perfect hair, all of which this clip has in spades. We don't know much more about Tomorrowland, but it sure LOOKS nice.


Mankind Is Sick Of All These Warrior Monkeys In 'Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes' Trailer

They're not just throwing their own poop anymore. In Rise of the Planet of the Apes, primates tired of being persecuted and used for drug testing and hilarious birthday cards developed super-intelligence and rose up against their captors. The sequel picks up a decade later as a group of human rebels strive to find peace with the apes because apparently bullets still don't work on them. Rise of the Planet of the Apes stars Jason Clarke, Gary Oldman, Keri Russell, Judy Greer, and Andy Serkis as Caesar with Cloverfield's Matt Reeves directing.


'Contraband' Trailer Pulls Mark Wahlberg Back In

Also features a semi-dressed Kate Beckinsale. If Mark Wahlberg overpowers you and puts a gun to your head while warning you not to harm his wife and kid, the last thing you should up and do is harm his wife or kid. Obviously Giovanni Ribisi didn't get that memo. Here he is in this Contraband trailer harming wives and kids like nobody's business. Get a clue, guy. The trailer also features a short montage of Kate Beckinsale getting dressed. I don't want to tell you trailer editors how to do your job, but you might want to consider playing that footage backward. And slowly. Oh yeah, that's more like it.