‘Hell On Wheels’ Gives AMC Its Own ‘Deadwood’

Revenge, Railroads, Native Americans: Yup. It's a Western all right. AMC is not content sitting on their goodwill for one second, choosing to forge ahead with original programming occupying every genre on God's green earth. Today's dispatch is from AMC's Department of Western Affairs - "Deadwood" Division. Premiering late this year, "Hell on Wheels" follows a Confederate soldier, played by Anson Mount, heading west to find the Union men who killed his wife. Who knew that revenge would play such a big theme in a Western? Oh. Everyone. Costarring in "Hell on Wheels" are Common, Dominique McElligott, Colm Meaney, Ben Esler, Philip Burke and Eddie Spears. Cause really, who could possibly imagine the Western frontier without Common? Draw your own conclusions from this trailer, but only after I give you mine. It looks 100% percent like AMC's version of "Deadwood." Which is by no means a bad thing, but also not as pleasantly surprising as "Walking Dead,""Breaking Bad," or"Mad Men." Much like I think of"Boardwalk Empire" on HBO, this show will probably turn out very well, but with few surprises. Anyway, that's my inference from 90 seconds of video. What thinks you?

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Here's The Best Solve In 'Wheel Of Fortune History'

To reward his stupendous feat, the producers bestowed upon him $200 of wicker furniture and a Mr. Coffee toaster. (Not really.) I don't want to ruin the reveal, but we all know how the final round of Wheel of Fortune works. They give you the R, S, T, L, N, and E, and you pick a few more letters, then you get some vague tip ("It's a thing!"), and you're on you're way. I'm sure Pat Sajak is a pretty good arbiter of Wheel of Fortune achievement, and he said that Jesus and Mohammed combined couldn't have achieved such success. Ok. He didn't say that at all. He caters to the Bible belt. They would have not gone for that. But he DID say it was "the most amazing solve in my 30+ years on the show." And then you learned that "solve" can be used as a noun. If you called it a "solution," you clearly have no idea what you're talking about. Enjoy this crazy good stab in the dark.


'Wheel Of Fortune; Savant Wins $91K Solving Puzzle With Only One Letter

Clue: Crappy Johnny Depp movie. All hail our new intellectual ruler, Matt DeSanto. Mr. DeSanto managed to solve a Wheel of Fortune puzzle after getting only one letter provided for him in the first puzzle. Sure, it would make it more dramatic if this was that last puzzle thing with the RSTLNE's all picked for him, but if that was the case, he would have had a few more letters to work with. Matt said that he credits his huge performance (he solved almost every puzzle offered) mostly to luck, but he's been watching the show since he was 5, which couldn't have hurt his performance either. HOWEVER, he managed to get the final puzzle wrong, which a) sucks for him but b) makes his $91,000 take all the more impressive. Matt DeSantos, you weirdo game show guy, we salute you.


AMC Invites You To Dinner With 'Freakshow'

Lots of freaks. And lots of love! After developing an iron-grip stranglehold on Sunday night television (or at least sharing its grip with HBO and Showtime), AMC wants a night all to itself, and that's shaping up to be Real Original Thursdays, during which the network will offer up some reality TV shows that supposedly won't make our eyes bleed. To give you some flavor, here's a little teaser from Freakshow, a reality program that follows Todd Ray, who runs a group of freaks (that can't be the politically correct term) that operate down on the Venice Boardwalk in LA. Take a look and see what you think. It premieres on Valentine's Day...because of all the romance.


Statham, De Niro, and Owen Just Beating The Holy Hell Out Of Each Other In 'Killer Elite' Trailer

It's "Owen and Statham vs. De Niro," or "Owen and De Niro vs. Statham," or something. The trailer for Killer Elite doesn't offer much in the way of plot. All the viewer really needs to know is that, for reasons you needn't worry your pretty little head about, people are just beating the shit out of each other. Clive Owen, Robert De Niro, and Jason Statham all take turns dishing out heaping portions of pain. Initially, Owen forces Statham to rescue his friend and mentor, Robert De Niro. After that nugget of info about 15 seconds into the trailer, they stop with the plot revelations altogether. And they aren't really missed. True to the title, the aforementioned three appear to be elite killers, beating each other up while strapped to chairs, strapped in by a seat belt, or, in De Niro's case, just really, really old. Lest one think this is ridiculous, nonsensical action fare, the trailer informs that the film is based on a true story, which seems very improbable. But Hollywood doesn't lie, so I'll be heading to my local library to learn more about this menage a trois of ass-kicking. In summary, most of this trailer is set to Scorpions' "Rock You Like a Hurricane." That's really all the information you need. This article could have been a lot shorter.


NBC Goes To Hell: 'Constantine' Trailer

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Vampire Hell Breaks Loose In Teaser For 'The Strain' Season Two

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'Game Of Thrones' Spinoff 'One And A Half Men'

If you thought 'Two and a Half Men' was funny...what the hell is wrong with you? Game of Thrones is a good show, but I'm comfortable speaking for absolutely everyone when I say that it could stand to be a lot more like Two and a Half Men. Fortunately, some dude with a lot of free time and editing software agrees with me, because there now exists a fake trailer for One and a Half Men, a Game of Thrones parody following the adventures and friendship of Tyrion and Bronn as they go around killing people and...killing people. So wonder what might have been had the characters in Game of Thrones decided to lighten up for five seconds and enjoy the simpler things, like friendship, and having a dude around that kills people for your on command.