Tuesday, April 5 by

Disney Reminds Us That ‘Pirates’ Began With Cheesy Animatrons

In an effort to help shove the memories of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3 off your memory plank, Disney has released a new trailer for the film that reminds us of the original source material for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. It all started with a ride at Disneyland, just like two other classic works of cinema: Haunted Mansion and The Country Bears.

The new outing is supposed to have more swashbuckling, less head scratching, which is good. After all, Americans come to these movies to see crazy spectacle and Johnny Depp acting like a drunk, gay Keith Richards, damn it. Who wants to also have to follow a crazy plot?

On Stranger Tides is about looking for the Fountain of Youth. What if Jack Sparrow finds it and the fountain grants him eternal youth as an animatron, living forever as a creepy robot who can only sort of move?