A Scientifically Accurate Look At 'Ducktales'

Pretty macabre stuff. Wow. Ducks are real bastards. If you were enamored of Huey, Dewey, and Louie as a tot, you might not want to watch this video, which examines the dark underbelly of being a duck. Ducktales really sugarcoated things, it would appear. Great. Now I've made myself hungry. I'm going to track down some duck underbelly in Chinatown.

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‘Louie’ Season Two Promises To Be Pride-Effacing

Louis C.K. introduces an effective form of birth control. There's a new promo for the second season of FX's "Louie," and it's as sparse and awkward as the show itself. It's just Louis CK, the two actresses that play his daughters, a couch, and the Cooper STD font. Still, it's oddly effective and a fitting example of the off-kilter charm of the show. We're not given a sense of where the new season will go, but I think it's safe to say it will involve sadness and masturbation. And masturbating while sad. In the promo, Louis CK does his best to pass on the info that the new season premieres June 23rd at 10:30pm on FX. All the while, the actress who plays his young daughter is jumping on the couch and slapping him in the face. Man, is she lucky that Alec Baldwin isn't the star of this show. Dude would house her.


8-Bit Ripley Looks Totally Hot In Lost 'Aliens' Game

If you owned the classic Nintendo in the 80s and love 'Aliens,' your jaw will drop at this game project that got lost in space. There's a lot of talk now about the new Alien-ish movie. However, if you owned the classic Nintendo in the 80s and love Aliens, your jaw will drop at this game project that got lost in space. In 1987, Japanese game publisher Square, who later created the RPG series Final Fantasy, which we're sure has inspired more than one chocobo furry sex orgy at Dragon*Con, got the license to make an Aliens game. Unfortunately, the game was never released on the NES, only on the Japanese Famicom Disk System. The recently rediscovered game is documented in the video above from 1up. It shows us what we've all been missing. The biggest thing, in my opinion, is the super-sexy Sigourney Weaver sprite. She has ducked and float-leaped into my heart. If the 8-bit version of Ripley came into my bedroom wearing a pink jump suit and big boots, brandishing a laser gun, I wouldn't turn her down. Maybe that's partly because of my fear of laser guns, but still. 5-year-old me would have declared 8-bit Ripley his girlfriend, and once again, nobody would talk to me at recess. (1up)


Ben Stiller Takes On Scrooge McDuck In 'Tower Heist' Trailer

Under the tutelage of lovable criminal, Eddie Murphy. When Alan Alda's Madoff-esque fat cat character absconds with the pensions of all his professional slaves, Ben Stiller rises to action. He bands together with the former employees to infiltrate his penthouse fortress to try to take what belongs to them. Hence, The Tower Heist. Movies like New Year's Eve should take note. THIS is how you make a comedy with an ensemble cast. You use likable actors like Matthew Broderick. That way, audiences are happy and the Broderick-Parker children are still fed. Everyone wins!!


Lake Bell Lies To Be With Simon Pegg In Totally Fictional 'Man Up'

'Divergent' is more believable than this. Man Up stars Simon Pegg as a guy who has a great time with his blind date who isn't completely, totally honest with him. Lake Bell stars as the lying liar who lies in order to be with him. Just so we're clear that this is a work of fiction, Lake Bell looks like this: And Simon Pegg looks like this.Once her deceit is revealed, they then break up and spend the rest of the movie figuring out that they want to be together. What until he finds out that she's not even really British.


'Atrocious' Trailer Is Scary and Everyone's Totally Mexican

It's like 'Paranormal Activity' en espanol... y... la biblioteca? Watch el scariente trailerente (the spooky trailer) above. We're sure there are lots of low-budget, "found footage" horror movies being made, angling to be the next Paranormal Activity. However, they're all missing a key ingredient that Atrocious has in spades: a bunch of characters speaking Spanish! Get ready to be rocked out of your English-speaking comfort zone and into a world of having to read spooktitles (horror movie subtitles). Atrocious is the directorial debut of Mexican filmmaker Fernando Barreda Luna, and it will premiere at Slamdance this month. Sound familiar? That's because Paranormal Activity was the directorial debut of Israli filmmaker Oren Pell, and his film premiered at Slamdance, too. The coincidences are as eerie as a bunch of kids exploring a Mexican murder well! (Moviefone)