There are times in recent years when I am not sure if I am watching the News or "Access Hollywood."  The reporting is as equally superficial and shallow for both nowadays.  Nancy O'Dell should be a news correspondent for FOX, CNN, or MSNBC; she looks the part and can clearly read a teleprompter as good as the other "women journalists" at these corporate news channels.

Which one is Nancy O’Dell from "Access Hollywood" and which one is a "serious journalist?"

I have no idea, either.

Pretty women tell us what is going on so corporations can keep making money and the rest of us just walk around running into walls as we are spoon fed somewhat truthy infotainment. Yes, yes, we are bombing villages in Afghanistan. Fine, our 401Ks are being spent on some CEO’s letter opener encrusted with the hope diamond. Now come on, stop teasing us with those hot legs.  I want to see boobs.

Thank you corporate news.  Without you I wouldn’t have the following list of 10 national newscasters with whom I would like to make the sex.  Isn’t that really the point of all this?

#10 KIRAN CHETRY

Ex-comedian Al Franken shows Kiran a thing or two about journalism in this video.

#9 ERICA HILL

God, you are too nice.  I think we're going to have to "pretend break up."

Watch a clip of Erica here.

#8 NICOLE LAPIN

The California economy is crumbling apart and when Nicole gets The Governator to sit down, she asks him the hard-hitting questions.  Be prepared for an intense discussion that will have you on the edge of your seat.  I can’t wait till this budding journalist takes over in "The Situation Room."  We are all in good hands.

#7 CHRISTI PAUL

Hot black boots?  Check.  I don't really care what comes out of her mouth at this point.

#6 ROBIN MEADE

Can anyone say, "Hot boots?"  How about "F**k me boots?"

#5 AMY ROBACH

Check out Amy back in her pageant days when she was inspiring other young girls to become bulimic.  HERE.

#4 JILL DOBSON

Watch her take on a carrot in this video.

What can I say about Jill that hasn't been said about the other girls?  Nothing.  Let's move on.

#3 COURTNEY FRIEL

I went to San Diego State University and let me tell you: so did Courtney Friel.  And if you wanted to find the hottest girls on campus they were all in the back of the Sigma Chi house or in the journalism department.  Depending on the time of day of course.

Here's a clip.

#2 MEGAN KELLY

Talk about a cougar and a feisty one at that.

#1 JENNA LEE

When things are going wrong in the business sector, whom else would I turn to but some young hot girl like Jenna.  I mean, that's what I normally do when things aren’t going well with my wife.  It really makes perfect sense.

Here's a clip of Jenna.

In finishing, I really don’t mind beauty queens doing their thing, but once it involves the vital information we need, maybe we should leave that to real journalist and leave the beauty queens back where the only real damage they can do is to all the young girls who watch those pageants.

Carrie Prejean. Vaguely hot. Fired from Miss California. Thinks gay people have cooties. Anyone else think she’s already in negotiations with Fox News?  Or how about you know who?

Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against hot girls.  Megan Fox is a babe, but when it comes to the news, I prefer my journalists to look more like this:

Than this:

I get it…I’m a sexist jerk. Sticks and stones, pal. Is it possible that there are hot women who are also extremely intelligent? Sure, why not. One time I put in a dollar in a vending machine and got 5 back. But chances are if you had guys fawning over you your whole life, one of them probably helped you cheat on a math test.

If you’re a 10 and you managed to get through Columbia Journalism School on your own merits, congratulations. Please forward your information to the editorial department. I’d love to get in touch for an interview, over dinner. For the remaining lot of you, please forward your resumes to Cinemax c/o After Hours Programming Dept. If you’re going to report the news you must be able to pronounce Ahmadinejad, and you can’t be a bleached blonde hair past a 5.

I guess on the flipside, as our country goes down the toilet (google: global economic shitstorm), maybe the hotties are there to cushion the blow. So when our country is finally morally and financially bankrupt, thanks in part to our hot news “journalists”, at least you’ll have something to whack off to. Maybe they should just merge Cinemax and CNN once and for all. The best team in softcore somewhat newsy things.

THIS HAS BEEN A RANT FROM RON.

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