 10 Actors Who are TV CancerPOSTED BY Skippy | FRIDAY MARCH 19 AT 9:05 PDT
TV Show Title:
Whatever deal Tyler Perry made with the devil apparently doesn’t extend to every actor in the biz. I'm talking about the kind of people in this group of cursed thesps/models pretending to act. I have even heard about a law being proposed that if you have had more than two TV shows cancelled, you are banned for life from participation in a TV show again. I heard about it because I personally submitted it to Congress under the name Mayor McFartcheese. I haven't been contacted yet. Without futher ado, here are ten actors who are television cancer: Blair Underwood
Somehow, someway, this guy pissed off the Gods of Da’ Tube after “L.A. Law”. He had a good run on that show while we were trying to get our 6th grade girlfriends to engage in some rough through-the-clothes stuff. But since the show Corbin Bernsen rocked, Underwood has been getting series cancelled at a pretty swift rate. It’s a gift, really, to be able to sink so many projects so quickly.
Jacinda Barret
This Aussie chick is probably best known for crying a lot when her fake husband -- Joaquin Phoenix -- ate the fire monster in Ladder 49, or for the remake of The Poseidon Adventure, revolutionarily called, Poseidon. She also got some of Zach Braff’s face grease rubbed on her in The Last Kiss, for the six of you who saw that one. Oh, and aside from her TV series fails, she was also in the second Bridget Jones...which I was refused entry into because of my lack of a menstrual cycle.
Krista Allen
Okay, I would cast her without an audition. Just because I imagine she is a talented actress. Not for physical reasons or her boobs at all. And I haven’t even seen The Final Destination yet, but I am sure it is brilliant. I have to still blame Krista Allen for killing the best worst show in the history of TV: “Baywatch”. And even though she was spot on playing herself in “Unscripted”, that show got a kick in the ass from HBO. Failed Series of Note (as a Regular): Donnie Wahlberg
How much did you want to stab the entire crew from the New Kids On The Block back when you were in grade school/high school/reform school? The answer is not at all because they ruled. Put your hands down! Then the supergroup split up and Donnie Wahlberg seemed to be the only one intent on succeeding in other areas -- like film and TV like his brother, Marky Mark. I applaud him for dropping like a million pounds for his brief part in The Sixth Sense (SPOILER: he kills Bruce Willis), but then he started doing some TV. And a couple of those shows had potential. Damn you, Wahlberg.
Ron Eldard
Um, is it just me, or has this guy done a lot of TV despite his cow-lick hair and a voice only transvestites could love? I'll answer my own question. Yes, he has done a lot of TV. He got a career boost with a few guest appearances on “ER”, where luckily for producers, George Clooney’s presence cancelled out Eldard’s TV black-holeness.
Carrie-Anne Moss
Yeah, that chick who was kinda’ hot in the black fake leather body suit in The Matrix flicks. And after seeing her performance, I’m guessing she didn’t just sleep with one of the Wachowski Brothers to get the part because one of them turned their penis inside out and is a woman now. Carrie-Anne had a strong resume already under her leather belt, but sadly, much of it was a resume of killing off TV series. Like Larry Wachowski killed off his penis. He'd loooove Ron Eldard.
Jeffrey Pierce
Oh, the list of shows I wished could have cast Jeffrey Pierce over the years. I would have been spared “Manimal” and “Cop Rock” because they would have been cancelled much quicker. But, alas, Pierce is from another time and keeps getting work in shows that fail soon after. I admit, he’s not a bad actor, he just has a curse of TV failure on his back. Not to be confused with my back birthmark that looks like Jeffrey Pierce.
Moon Bloodgood
With a name like...Good God, her parents hated her. However, it’s kind of hard to be too harsh on this chick (I refuse to say that name) because she is smoking hot. I was actually looking forward to Spielberg’s upcoming alien series on TNT, but when I heard MB had been cast in it, I decided to instead stick to a show that won’t be cancelled. Like “Real Sex”. She’s also doing some film stuff right now, like Beautiful Boy with Maria Bello. The rumors claim there is a recreation of the cheerleader scene from A History of Violence between the two of them. Or maybe that’s the script I am writing. It's the only scene I have so far.
Leslie Hope
We first fell in love with her when she was murdered by the hot-ass Nina in the first season of “24”. But Leslie Hope had apparently been getting TV shows cancelled way before then -- and after then. She has a great sexy soccer mom/mysterious older woman quality about her, which is pretty suh-weet but apparently translates into cancellation. “24” survived her, but that’s because Jack Bauer can’t be killed. Alex O'Loughlin
He’s Australian and has abs, certainly he can carry a show, right? Nay. Despite having the Aussie factor going for him, it’s still obvious he has performed various sex acts on casting directors in order to keep getting these opportunities -- like Jack Lord’s old part in the new “Hawaii 5-0” redo. Just FYI, don’t get too attached to that one. But don’t fret, O’Loughlin fans. You can still catch him on the big screen in April with Jennifer Lopez in The Back-Up Plan. Look for him on my next list: 10 Actors Who are Movie Cancer. Failed Series of Note (as a Regular): 
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March 19th, 2010 at 11:09 am
I have never heard of any of these people.
March 19th, 2010 at 11:32 am
What a bunch of losers.
March 21st, 2010 at 08:57 am
I was thinking the same thing while reading this story. Never heard of most of the shows either.
March 21st, 2010 at 01:43 pm
Like the others...never heard of them or the shows. Yawn.
May 20th, 2010 at 01:56 pm
Heard of very few of the shows/actors. Human Target was in danger of being canceled, but has been picked up for a sophomore season, and Moon guest starred on it. I'm hoping Daniel Dae Kim will help keep Alex on our screens; I enjoyed both of his series.
May 21st, 2010 at 01:58 am
Millennium was not canceled. The series was supposed to end just before the beginning of the new millenium. Get it?
May 21st, 2010 at 05:05 am
Millenium was not SUPPOSED to end just before the new millenium. Where did you get an idea like that? As a member of the show's third season crew, I can assure you we would very much have loved to have done a fourth season, particularly one that would have led into and then explored the early months of the year 2000.
May 21st, 2010 at 04:20 pm
Yea folks. Chris Carter would have ended a successful, money making series before the new century just for pure conceptual reasons.
Happens all the time to the top shows.
May 21st, 2010 at 04:24 pm
Crew you say? Would that be craft service? Flunky grip on his first gig?
May 22nd, 2010 at 05:44 pm
oooh don't hate cuz you ain't boo boo. .lol. And if you knew ANYTHING about this industry you would know that Crafty. . . .knows EWVERYTHING that goes on. .why?. because everyone loves them. .duuuuhhhhh. bahahahahahhaha
May 23rd, 2010 at 05:16 am
I recognize Blair Underwood, but none of the rest
May 24th, 2010 at 07:32 am
you dont watch television enough how do you not know donnie walhberg Nktob (new kids on the block) sadly its only two maybe three shows i didnt catch an episode of.
March 19th, 2010 at 01:40 pm
what about Jewel Staite? I think her name is? she's been on a bunch of cancelled shows... firefly, stargate atlantis, wonder falls...a couple more I can't think of... not that I'm hating on her or anything, I think she's a pretty and good actress.
March 19th, 2010 at 11:30 pm
She also had a guest spot on Dead Like Me, which was cancelled before it's time.
Stargate Atlantis though wasn't cancelled, they chose to end the show, much to my chagrin. They wanted it to go out on top, like BSG (but to a slightly lesser extent).
I'd argue that Space Cases fell apart after she left, but Flash Forward lasted a while for a Disney show.
March 22nd, 2010 at 10:15 am
Hahaha! I can't believe someone else remembers Space Cases. Jewel was cute on that show.
May 20th, 2010 at 07:33 pm
I LOVED Space Cases and Flash Forward. I think Jewel Staite is great...she was on Higher Ground too, and that was canceled after one season, which SUCKED because it was an amazing show and I loved her as Daisy! She can also sing pretty well!
March 19th, 2010 at 02:11 pm
Gabrielle Union.
She killed Night Stalker and also Life which was a good show. Now she is on Flash Forward and I guarantee that show is doomed because of her.
March 20th, 2010 at 07:25 pm
You forgot Lindsay Price
May 8th, 2010 at 05:36 pm
Yeah I friggin loved life.
May 23rd, 2010 at 11:40 pm
Flash Forward has been cancelled.
May 24th, 2010 at 12:13 am
How is this list without the king of cancellations: Jerry O'Connell. Everything the guy touches turns to mold. After "Sliders" the guy seems to have a new show every season...and he has another coming in the fall that's sure to be doomed.
March 19th, 2010 at 02:18 pm
How could you leave off Ted "The Showkiller" McGinley?
May 20th, 2010 at 12:28 am
Mario Van Peables was the WORST!!!!
May 20th, 2010 at 09:46 am
McGinley's the king of SHARK-JUMPING - a good show gone bad. That's not the same as show-killing. Happy Days went on four years with him, and Married With Children went about 6-7 more years after he got there. That's hardly show-killing. Now, Paula Marshall, on the other hand...
(Don't include Love Boat - it was pretty much dead before Ted got there.)
March 19th, 2010 at 02:40 pm
And Lindsay Price!
March 22nd, 2010 at 09:44 am
Lindsay Price should be a patron saint of these lists
March 19th, 2010 at 02:51 pm
These are all awesome additions.
March 21st, 2010 at 08:39 am
WHAT A DUMB ARTICLE. WRITER IS NEGATIVE ANTI-SOCIAL DUAS!! SO HERE'S A NOTE TO THE AUTHOR: "HOW NICE OF YOU TO PUT CURSE LABEL ON STARS...YOU MUST BE JEALOUS. I PREDICT YOU WILL STARVE AS WRITER. HOW DOES THAT FEEL? "
March 21st, 2010 at 09:03 am
Who pissed in your cheerios?
March 22nd, 2010 at 08:50 am
Simmer down, Francis.
May 24th, 2010 at 01:25 am
Um...isn't a good, stiff slap to the face the preferred way of dealing with unreasonable hysteria? Shut your cakehole, Yoko!
March 19th, 2010 at 03:14 pm
Wut about Michael C. Hall? He has teh cancer.
April 1st, 2010 at 08:29 pm
cool joke dood
March 19th, 2010 at 03:21 pm
Since when is Leslie Hope and Carrie Anne-Moss considered HOT ?! Honestly who was on crack ?
March 20th, 2010 at 05:58 pm
They are both hot. Not every woman can be Pam Anderson or whatever female drag queen you're into.
March 19th, 2010 at 10:54 pm
What about Nathan Fillion? Before castle everything he did got canceled.
March 20th, 2010 at 01:12 am
Because he's awesome?
March 20th, 2010 at 03:10 am
Fillion was in Buffy, and that managed long enough?
March 22nd, 2010 at 07:54 am
Ummm....I don't recall the day that Desperate Housewives went off the air? Oh yeah, it didn't. Oh yeah, that's cause not everything he was a part of got cancelled.
March 23rd, 2010 at 10:01 am
LOOOST!
March 30th, 2010 at 07:44 pm
"Fillion was in Buffy, and that managed long enough?"
Fillion was a reoccuring villain in the final season of Buffy. He showed up a handful of epsiodes before the end, and the only really notable thing he did was stabbing out someone's eye, though your mileage may vary a bit.
Soooo, yeah. Buffy ended after he showed up, but Whedon would have already been aware it was ending at that time. Don't even get started on Firefly, though. That was Fox, through and through.
May 20th, 2010 at 01:59 pm
Not to mention that One Life to Live is one of the few soaps that is still going strong, way after he played Joey on it.
March 19th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
Andy Richter
March 20th, 2010 at 01:24 am
concur.
i kept expecting him to be the next person on the list.
March 19th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
The queen. Heather Locklear. Shows bring her on to boost ratings as the "bad girl" only to get canned soon thereafter.
March 19th, 2010 at 11:24 pm
You forgot Nathan Fillion. I know Castle is around, but that guy was in so many shows canceled in the first season it was becoming a running joke
March 22nd, 2010 at 07:58 am
I'm guessing this is the same person posting again and again. Seriously....like I said before, how long has Desperate Housewives been running? Exactly! And Lost?
May 20th, 2010 at 02:01 pm
When was NF ever on Lost? And like I just posted, OLTL is still going strong.
May 20th, 2010 at 10:39 pm
he was on 1 episode of Lost.
May 21st, 2010 at 08:10 pm
I don't recall Fillion being in the first episode of Lost, but he did play cop who was married for one show to Kate (under an alias), until the marshalls started closing in, and she split after drugging him.