UPDATE: CBS Fall Line-Up Makes Grandpa Smile

^{That sandwich doesn’t stand a chance with Belushi hanging around.}

UPDATE: I’ve added clips of the new shows after the jump.

CBS announced its new schedule of shows that you will avoid but still discuss awkwardly with someone’s grandparents today. As previously announced, the Twitter phenom that stole our sweet Patrick away, "S#*! My Dad Says" will go up against "30 Rock" in the Thursday at 8:30 slot. "The Big Bang Theory" is its solid lead-in in a bid to grab every Trekkie for a solid hour. Tom Selleck and Jim Belushi return to TV with "Blue Bloods" and "The Defenders" respectively. And Grace Park in a bikini will change your granddad’s opinion of Koreans with a rebooted "Hawaii Five-O."

CHECK OUT THE FULL SCHEDULE WITH NEW SHOWS AND NEW TIMESLOTS AND NEW CLIPS AFTER THE JUMP…

MONDAY
8:00 — How I Met Your Mother
8:30 — Rules of Engagement
9:00 — Two and a Half Men
9:30 — Mike & Molly
10:00 — Hawaii Five-0

TUESDAY
8:00 — NCIS
9:00 — NCIS: LA
10:00 — The Good Wife

WEDNESDAY
8:00 — Survivor
9:00 — Criminal Minds
10:00 — The Defenders

THURSDAY
8:00 — The Big Bang Theory
8:30 — S#*! My Dad Says
9:00 — CSI
10:00 — The Mentalist

FRIDAY
8:00 — Medium
9:00 — CSI: NY
10:00 — Blue Bloods

SATURDAY
8:00 — Crimetime Saturday
9:00 — Crimetime Saturday
10:00 — 48 Hours Mystery

SUNDAY
7:00 — 60 Minutes
8:00 — Amazing Race
9:00 — Undercover Boss
10:00 — CSI: Miami

MIDSEASON

Criminals Minds spin-off