The Emmy Awards Suck Dinklage: A List Of The Night’s Big Winners

Sunday, September 18 by
"Hey everyone who made fun of me in middle school; kiss my ass!" 

Tonight’s Emmy Awards proved to be a rousing spectacle showcasing and honoring the best television has to offer. At least I assume it was. I was watching football. But from what the Internet tells me, I missed out on a lot of lesbian jokes. More importantly, I missed Game of Thrones actor Peter Dinklage winning an Emmy for best supporting actor in a drama.

The actor took time to thank his wife as well as his dog sitter, but surprisingly, his speech did not contain any “f*ck yous” directed at kids who used to pick on him in middle-school. I know if I ever ended up on national television, it would turn into an obscenity filled rant directed at all those have wronged me throughout the years. Then again, if I’m ever on national television, it will be for lighting one of the Real Housewives on fire, so maybe it’s for the best I’m only on the Internet.

Here’s a list of the night’s big winners.

Outstanding comedy series: Modern Family
Outstanding drama series: Mad Men
Outstanding miniseries or movie: Downton Abbey
Outstanding lead actress, miniseries or movie: Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce
Outstanding supporting actor in a miniseries or movie: Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce
Outstanding directing for a miniseries, movie or dramatic special: Brian Percival, Downton Abbey
Outstanding lead actor in a miniseries or movie: Barry Pepper, The Kennedys
Outstanding supporting actress, miniseries or movie: Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Outstanding writing for a miniseries or movie: Julian Fellowes, Downton Abbey
Outstanding lead actor, drama: Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Outstanding lead actress, drama: Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Outstanding supporting actor, drama: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Outstanding directing, drama: Martin Scorsese, Boardwalk Empire
Outstanding supporting actress, drama: Margo Martindale, Justified
Outstanding writing, drama series: Jason Katims, Friday Night Lights
Outstanding variety, music or comedy series: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Outstanding directing for a variety, music or comedy series: Don Roy King, Saturday Night Live (host: Justin Timberlake)
Outstanding writing for a variety, music or comedy series: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Outstanding reality competition: The Amazing Race
Outstanding lead actress, comedy: Melissa McCarthy (Mike & Molly)
Outstanding lead actor, comedy series: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Outstanding writing for a comedy: Steve Levitan, Jeffrey Richman (“Caught in the Act”), Modern Family
Outstanding director, comedy: Michael Alan Spiller (“Halloween”), Modern Family
Outstanding supporting actor, comedy: Ty Burrell (Modern Family)
Outstanding supporting actress, comedy: Julie Bowen (Modern Family)

Source: Entertainment Weekly

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