The 9 Harshest Jokes From Comedy Central’s ‘Roast Of Charlie Sheen’

Tuesday, September 20 by
The Comedy Central Roast Of Stephen Hawking 

Amy Schumer sparked controversy with her Ryan Dunn joke on last night’s airing of  The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen. She addressed Dunn’s fellow stuntman and friend Steve O saying, “When Ryan Dunn died Steve-O probably was thinking it could’ve been him, with the rest of the world wondering why it wasn’t.”

Really? That started controversy? It wasn’t directed at Dunn and it wasn’t particularly that harsh. In fact, I made a similiar joke when I wrote Dunn’s obituary. Also, it’s a roast. That’s the point. It’s supposed to be gloves-off pot shots. If we were interested in watching famous people fart out watered-down yuck-yucks, we’d have watched Two and a Half Men instead.

Point being, the joke wasn’t over the line. It was more observational than it was malicious as it was the common reaction to the news of Dunn’s passing. Here are nine jokes that were much more harsh from The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen.

  • “You’re just like Bruce Willis — you were big in the 80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.” — Amy Schumer
  • “The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox.” — Anthony Jeselnik
  • “Brooke Mueller is not very bright unless Charlie throws a lamp at her. … Mike Tyson, your opponents spent more time bleeding in the corner than Charlie’s ex wives.” — Jeffrey Ross
  • “Charlie, you claim to have ‘tiger blood,’ but after all the porn stars you’ve [had sex with], it’s probably Tiger Woods’ blood.” — Seth MacFarlane
  • “If you’re winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns — don’t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?” — Jeffrey Ross
  • “Charlie still hasn’t hit rock bottom. He’s looking forward to it though, because he thinks there’s a rock there.” — Steve O
  • “Charlie Sheen is still alive! Charlie, you were amazing in Platoon. Your marriage to Denise [Richards] was kind of like her Vietnam because she was constantly afraid of being killed by Charlie … There’s no denying how famous you are. It was international news when you ruined the lives of those two girls living with you—you know, your daughters.” – Amy Schumer
  • “Mike Tyson, your opponents spent less time bleeding in the corner than Charlie’s ex-wives.” — Jeffrey Ross
  • “Charlie Sheen called his boss on Two and a Half Men a ‘Jew ki**’ and expected to go back to work. That’s crazy. If you could do that and keep your job, then everybody would do it.” — Anthony Jeselnik