That Bastard Steven Seagal Ran Over 100 Chickens With A Tank

Tuesday, August 30 by
"This son of a bitch deserved to die, Captain." 

All the information you need is right there in the headline, but my editor likes it when my headlines have articles attached to them, so here we go…

Steven Seagal is the recipient of a notice of claim from  Jesus Sanchez Llovera for a raid he conducted while filming his show Steven Seagal: Lawman in Maricopa County, Arizona. Sanchez charges that Seagal and Sheriff Joe Arpaio wrongfully raided his property with a tank (!), and in doing so, killed over 100 roosters.

The warrant was for alleged cockfighting activities that were supposed to be taking place there, but Llovera claims that the roosters killed were involved in no wrongdoing. I love this logic. As though roosters that had been involved in cockfighting somehow deserve to be crushed by a tank, because it was ultimately the birds‘ decisions to fight.

Anyway, Llovera also alleges that somehow an 11-month old puppy also got killed in the mayhem. He’s asking for a formal apology. Oh, and also $100,000. Because the last time I checked roosters cost about $1,000 each.

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