Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but reality show Oompa Loompa, Snooki has selected a suitor to share her bed. The Jersey Shore Hobbit stepped out recently with Emilio Antonio and he is the juicehead of her dreams. She seems genuinely smitten. Belted in the face by love, if you will.

"He's actually a body builder and works at the gym," she said. "I am really excited to like show the public who he is."

And those hoping that their connection is merely intellectual and therefore vulnerable to temptation, I have worse news.

"He is freaking banging. We're the sexiest couple I have ever seen in my entire life s I am excited for everybody to see that."

There you have it. Theirs is a love that will endure at least until Sprin Break. Between this and the passing of Zelda Rubinstein, 2010 is shaping up to be a chaste year for pygmy-chasers. (NY Daily News)