‘Sex And The City’ Prequel Series Will Show Us How They All Became So Shrill And Insufferable

Monday, September 12 by
Not what my Monday needed.  

Yeah, this is something that’s happening. Sex and the City will be back, in prequel form on the CW, presumably to cater to the younger set with even baser, more euphemistic puns and the promise of side-al nudity. The program will be called The Carrie Diaries, which probably tested well in focus groups because The Carrie Diaries sounds like something that would have tested pretty well in focus groups.

Because Sarah Jessica played a character that was roughly 78 years old on the HBO version, The Carrie Diaries will begin with Carrie’s senior year in small-town America. “From the big farm to the big apple.”

That’s what a tagline will probably be.

A young (read: 63 or so) Samantha will join Carrie in her small town exploits, but she will be the only one of the NYC guard joining Carrie, which reinforces my theory that Stanford was the result of a secret government experiment to make the perfect homosexual stereotype.

In case you couldn’t have just assumed, the show will be produced by Gossip Girl producers Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage. Original SATC creator Darren Star isn’t attached to the CW version, which means that the show will find a totes new way to be horrible.

I’m sorry I ruined your week. It’s 9:35 AM Monday. I held out as long as I could.

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