Paula Deen Has Type II Diabetes. Can You Pass The Butter?

Friday, January 13 by
"Who Wants To Breath Heavily While Watching TV?" 

In sad news (sad in that it was sadly predictable), homecooking Food Network star Paula Deen is rumored to be living with Type II diabetes, which is the kind of diabetes you get as an adult when you eat a pecan pie with every meal.

It’s speculated that she’s kept her health news a secret because a) it’s really none of our business, and b) her credibility as a cook will be probably be compromised when people realize that salad she’s making (the one with the oreos, marshmallows, and mayonnaise) might taste good, but it could cost you your leg down the line.

Outspoken talking head/former chef Anthony Bourdain has recently blasted Paula Deen for piling on to the national epidemic of obesity, and this revelation will no doubt add fodder to the one-sided “dialogue” he was sparking.

Paula, be well, and remember not to take your insulin in ranch dressing form. And please remind America that pie crust isn’t a superfood like spirulina or blueberries.

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