Tonight, President Obama will visit the Late Show with David Letterman, and is set to be the only guest (sorry if you got bumped). This is his sixth time on the show, but the first time back since his election, and the speculation is that he'll be using this appearance to talk about the future of health care in America. So what exactly might be said during his hour on late night TV? We gave that a think over here at Screen Junkies, and in the grand tradition of Dave, came up with a Top Ten list of our own. So here it is, an entirely speculative list… Top Ten Things Obama Might Say on Letterman
Neil Patrick Harris was the big winner last night at the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards. His hosting prowess tied together an abnormally great show, drawing this rave review from Jon Stewart, "These shows, we've all been to a lot of these, they usually suck. And you've been very good." Highlights from the night include Ricky Gervais dressing down The Office cast, a visit from Dr. Horrible, and some news that will have scifi geeks everywhere cheering — Michael Emerson finally won a statue for his portrayal of Ben on LOST. Here are the winners of the main categories. Full list and Dr. Horrible after the jump. Drama Series Mad Men Comedy Series 30 Rock Lead Actress, Drama Glenn Close, Damages Lead Actress, Comedy Toni Collette, United States of Tara Lead Actor, Comedy Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock Lead Actor, Drama Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad Supporting Actor, Drama Michael Emerson, LOST Supporting Actor, Comedy Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men Supporting Actress, Drama Cherry Jones, 24 Supporting Actress, Comedy Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies WWNPHD? He'd click these links… Dick Cook's Disney ousting saddens Tinseltown (First Showing) Curb is back! (Gunaxin)Jennifer's Body eats it at the box office (Latino Review) Fantastic Mr. Fox character one sheets (IMP Awards) What to expect on Dollhouse Season Two (TV Squad) CLICK TO SEE FULL LIST OF EMMY WINNERS
Let's just break the bad news right off the bat. Tiffany Dupont, who stars as Frannie Morgan in Greek, loves Christianity bunches and bunches. We're not saying there's anything wrong with being best friends with Jesus, but that likely means he's (He's?) putting the kibosh on sex until marriage, my friends. Damn! And I've got two strikes against me because A) we're not married and B) I'm as Jewish as the day (and the nose) is long. She'd bring me home to the folks and they'd probably throw holy water at me. Which would sting because on top of being Jewish I'm also a vampire. Awww that's THREE strikes! A word from Tiffany: "No, Mel Gibson was not involved."Yeah, that's what you think, Tiffany. But chances are he's pulling those strings from a secret laboratory in his Malibu mansion. Mel Gibson is always involved. Martin Riggs is probably even involved in these pics after the jump…
Gillian Jacobs stars as Britta in the new sitcom Community, which starts tonight on the network that took away five blocks of scripted drama time so they could give Jay Leno his own show because they were afraid of losing his massive chin. Anyway…the sexy blond plays opposite "Talk Soup" dude Joel McHale and, drum roll please…Chevy Chase! That's right, folks, he's back! I know this post is supposed to be about Gillian, but come on, Chevy Chase is back, and he's supposed to be funny again. NBC should give HIM his own show five nights a week. Oh wait, FOX already did that back in '93… A word from Gillian: "I was actually watching a rerun the other day, and I was like, ‘I recognize that place! I've seen that swing before!'"Ah yes, the swing. It brings back so many fond memories. Memories of never having anyone to push you on it because you're a poor, ugly little orphan who's addicted to smack. Thanks for ripping that one out of a deep, dark place, Gillian!Here's some pics after the jump that'll get you swingin'!
MTV has announced they are developing a spin-off to one of our favorite cult shows, Greg the Bunny. The new series, Warren the Ape, focuses on Greg's puppet counterpart Warren T. Ape DeMontague as he attempts to pick up the tattered shreds of his acting career. Failing to win any roles, DeMontague agrees to appear on a reality show as a last ditch effort. He's just like Trishelle. Both will do anything for attention and neither mind having fists stuffed up their butts. (THR) These morning links have been translated from Puppish to English… Nicolas Cage suddenly cares about character in his portrayals. (Cinema Blend)Scarlett Johansson needs a date for the Iron Man 2 premiere. (Superhero Hype)Red band I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell trailer. (Trailer Addict)Mark Millar teases Kick Ass 2. (/Film)Josh Olsen and Harlan Ellison will not read your f***ing script. (Cinematical)Jay Chandrasekhar holds a Shotgun Wedding. (Pajiba)Ray Wise is joining Dollhouse. (TV Squad)
Nina Dobrev stars as "Elena Gilbert" in the new show The Vampire Diaries, and guess what? Her character's in love with a vampire. Dammit, what is wrong with women?! Why do they find fanged bloodsuckers so damn attractive? Twilight, True Blood, and now intimate journal entries on the subject. Most of the girls I know don't even like hickeys on their necks, let alone pustulating fang punctures. Fine, go fall in love with your vampire, Nina. Take the ridiculous ratings that come with it. I'll cry salty tears like the mortal I am. Your new boyfriend is incapable of crying, you know. A word from Nina: "There is something about a man who lurks in the dark."Way to invite the stalkers, Nina. Like seriously, you can't say stuff like that because stalkers pay very close attention. Then they pop out the dark, naked; you run away screaming; they get arrested and testify that you…ASKED FOR IT. And they might have a case.Here's some more of what you're sure to ask for. Pics after the jump!
We here at Screen Junkies are aaaalllll about Gossip Girl. Big time. Like, completely into it.
Well would you get a load of those pearly whites… Dianna Agron has a smile that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Plus she can sing and dance (as evidenced by her character Quinn in the new show Glee). She's a singing, dancing, cheerleading, backstabbing wonder woman who just so happens to be 23 in real life. I'd take her overHayden Panettiere anyday. Hayden's character on Heroes may be able to heal herself, but what the hell is a healing factor when you can hit a high C note?! A word from Dianna: "I was really too ambitious for my own good." Well we've got a quote for you, Dianna. "Ruthless ambition leads to its own destruction." It comes from a little English rapper named Willy Shakes. Take a lesson from MacBeth and don't murder your way to the top. It never works out. Trust us… Here's some pics after the jump that aren't a felony!
Kanye's VMA outburst rules the headlines again this morning as the rapper apologized on last night's premiere of The Jay Leno Show. To his credit, West faced the music and didn't cancel his scheduled appearance. Though that may be due to the fact that he was on to perform with Jay-Z and to back out would have upset his camp. West did seem sincere and got emotional when Leno shamed him by asking what his deceased mother would think of his behavior. And then Kevin Eubanks just chuckled out of the blue. That guy laughs at the most innappropriate moments. He's like Dr. Hibbard with a guitar.We apologize in advance for these morning links…Beyonce visits Zoobilee Zoo. (TV Squad)Watch the pilot episode of HBO's Bored To Death. (/Film)Basterd takes over for Nic Cage. (Superhero Hype)Comedian joins Red Dawn. (First Showing)Toy Story 3 teaser poster is sparse. (Latino Review)
Ah, yes. The "Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought…" function of an online store. It's a pretty darn incredible invention that works on multiple levels. On the one hand, stores like Amazon.com use it to get you to spend way more than you should. On the other hand, sometimes the "Also Bought…" function can be a very telling market research tool. Here are some TV on DVD box sets with overly truthful suggestions…
Jayma Mays stars as the germaphobic teacher Emma Pillsbury in the new musical/comedy show Glee, but her red locks aren't a stranger to primetime television. Jayma's appeard in House, Heroes, Pushing Daisies, Entourage, and my personal favorite, Six Feet Under, among many others. She's also brought her fiery good looks to the big screen in Red Eye, and, let's forget to mention, Paul Blart: Mall Cop. There, we forgot to mention it. Go back and look for her in all the things we didn't forget to mention. She won't be hard to spot. A word from Jayma: "Oh sh*t! A talking beaver!"Man, there are so many ways we could go with a joke pertaining to the aforementioned quote. And surprisingly enough, most of them are too dirty for this site. We just hope you don't take it out of context, like we've done here, because the last thing we want is to spread the rumor that Jayma has verbal private parts. Oooooooh now we've gone and done it!Check out some pics of Jayma after the jump with zero talking beavers in them!
Charo Covers Rihanna… Poorly. – Watch more Funny Videos The above video, from a recent Jerry Lewis telethon, features fifty-something pop icon Charo covering Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop The Music." I recommend watching it en todo, but if you want to get to the best part, fast forward to about 3:05 in the clip. There you'll find a mortified Jerry Lewis making a face he probably hasn't made since the lights went up after the first screening of his directorial debut, The Day the Clown Cried. That's the one about the circus clown working Auschwitz. ¡Ay dios miiiiioooo! Here are today's top links: 25 Most Dangerous Squirrels On Earth (HolyTaco) Breaking News: Brett Ratner Is Lazy (FilmDrunk) 10 Funniest Moments In Muppet Show History (SuperTremendous) Disney Finally Recognizes African Americans (Pajiba) Miley Cyrus Sideboob Is Pedorific (CelebJihad) 10 Most Memorable Torture Scenes In Movies (Unreality) New NERF Tommy Gun Looks Like The Bee's Knees (Asylum) Show Me State's Hooters Bikini Car Wash (BustedCoverage) Paraglider Vs. Crowd Of Retards (RegretfulMorning) Monster Trucks Can Perform Backflips (TotalProSports) The USA's Ultimate Sandwiches (MadeMan) Best NASCAR Victory Celebrations (AllLeftTurns) Student Gets A Shovel To The Face (NothingToxic) The Shaman Takes A Trip To Burning Man (Atom)
Jessalyn Gilsig (one of the more interesting names I've ever typed) stars as Terri Schuester in Glee, premiering next Wednesday. Jessalyn is no stranger to TV, as it appears she's been in almost every show in the past ten years. Alright, not every show, but the list includes Nip/Tuck, Heroes, Friday Night Lights, CSI:NY, Law & Order, Prison Break, NYPD Blue, Boston Public, and The Practice. Damn Jessalyn, you've been bus-y. You must keep your trim figure running from set to set to set to set. A word from Jessalyn: "I'm proud that I can be single. I think it's good being alone." Oh so that's how you wanna play it? Alright, I can act aloof, too. Yeah, being single is awesome. I love not coming home to someone who cares for me and rubs my shoulders when I'm stressed. Frozen TV dinners rock my world, as my lonely tears drip into luke warm apple cobbler! At least there are pics of you after the jump to keep me company…
Taryn Manning is our second lovely Sons of Anarchy lady of the week, and we'd like to send out a special thanks to the show's casting director. Last season Taryn played Cherry, the Prospect's adoring girlfriend who wanted to be his 'ol lady more than anything else in the world. But she got herself into a bit of a pickle with the ATF and had to split Charming. We're hoping she returns to town this season and brings that sexy, raspy voice back with her. It's like the smooth, slow hum of the Harley I'm not cool enough to own. A word from Taryn: "The thing that makes me feel most alive is when I'm playing guitar and singing." The thing that makes us feel most alive is when we're looking at you wearing silky clothes that trace your silhouette in such a way that it teases us with the gloriousness hiding underneath. …While we're playing guitar. Looks like there's some inspiration for us after the jump!
Sons Of Anarchy returns to FX this Tuesday for its second season, and Maggie Siff returns along with it as the prodigal girlfriend Tara Knowles. You may also recognize Maggie as Rachel Menken from AMC's Mad Men. If you don't know her from either of these shows then you must have an aversion to awesome television. Try turning off those reality programs that cast serial killer bachelors and tune in to some intelligent, gripping serialized dramas that utilize important things such as…writers! A word from Maggie: "I think I fall into the camp of people who don’t feel safe about motorcycles." I don't even like when a motorcycle looks at me. Damn thing sends chills up my spine. That's probably because I imagine breaking my spine after I fly off of it and into a lamppost. Stay off of bikes, Maggie, and maintain that beautiful figure of yours, which we can see more of right after the jump!
Ever wonder nowadays whether the next commercial jet you fly on is going to get hijacked? If you have anxiety issues like me, this is the part where you turn your head, look out the window and gruffly whisper, "Every damn day…" Well, there's a show for people like us, or people who like being prepared. It's called "Surviving Disaster," and Season 2 premieres tonight on Spike @ 10pm ET/PT. Check out the clip below, where Navy SEAL/badass host Cade Courtley teaches us how to hog tie an airplane hijacker. How to hog tie a terrorist. – Watch more Funny Videos Who is this Courtley guy? He's like your own personal cheerleader for urban survival. He's like Bear Grylls, but useful. Face it; you're never going to get lost on a mountain. You're more likely to die from choking on a glazed donut. Or a bank heist gone awry. And guess what? Courtley covers bank heists this season. And earthquakes, and home invasions, fire, mall shootings, hurricanes and effin' nuclear attacks. And nuclear attacks are just like the world's giant glazed donuts. Silent. Deadly. And served by a Korean.
EDITOR'S NOTE: This isn't really written by LeVar Burton. But seeing as how so many of the people commenting are wondering, or are calling it defamatory, let us make it clear: LeVar Burton did NOT write this piece. It was meant to be a joke. Because the real LeVar Burton would never in his right f**king mind write something like this. If Mr. Burton doesn't like this piece, then we apologize. He has not contacted us requesting that we remove it. If he does request we do so, then we will out of respect. We love LeVar Burton. We also like reading, and hope that the "literary arts" stay strong for all time.
Chimp exposed to Magic Goes Apesh*t – Watch more Funny VideosIt turns out that after the age of ten you have to be a monkey to still find magic fascinating. The bandana-sporting simian in this clip is literally going apesh*t over these tricks, and it's so damn adorable! The constant slide whistle sounds and florescent squiggly lines don't hurt the effect either. David Copperfield, I believe you've met your match. Bring on the wind machines and erotic monkey assistants! Vegas can't wait for this act! [via Buzzfeed] Lauren Jones And A Pink Bikini (Gorillamask) 7 People Who Will Be In Your English 101 Class (Holytaco) Soul Train: The Movie: Electric Boogaloo (Filmdrunk) 25 Sexiest Celebrity Cowgirl Photos (Manofest) Rubik's Cube For The Blind (Walyou) The Five Scariest Movie Clowns (Pajiba) 15 Most Baffling Boasts In The Rap Game (Cracked) 12 Dumbest Convicted Athletes (Coedmagazine) Maxim's 12 Hottest Swimsuit Videos (Maxim) K. Fed Looks Pregnant And Yellow (Celebjihad) Ed Hardy Must Be Stopped (Mademan) Emelianenko Vs. Rogers For This Fall (Cagepotato) 15 Toughest NES Games Of All Time (Unreality) Stop Masturbating So Much (Regretfulmorning) Jason Biggs Attacked By Monkey (Asylum) Texas A&M Football Talent Show Is Quite Gay (Bustedcoverage) 2009 AFC West Preview (Moondogsports) Idiot Breaks Back After Bridge Jump (Nothingtoxic) A Different Sort Of Beer Goggles (Atomfilms) New 'Jennifer's Body' Poster And Featurette (Filmofilia)
The above clip from is just one of many pantaloon-crappingly funny japes pulled by amateur mountebanks on the new MTV show, "Pranked!" It's all part of MTV's new-look "Guy Block Thursdays," which debuts Thursday, August 27th at 9PM ET/PT. And "Pranked!" is but one of four programs designed to tickle your manly bone, which is different from an erection. They have pay-per-view and 99% of the internet for tickling that. Guy Block Thursday also includes three other shows:
Kate Mara popped up on Entourage this weekend as E's assistant, Brittany, and boy are we glad to have some new, fiery, red-haired blood pumping through that show. If there isn't a consensual tryst between those two gingers at some point then we're changing the channel. Managers and their assistants gotta bang. It's like Hollywood law. They GOTTA! A word from Kate: "I think I'm so normal. People relate to the regular-looking person." Kate, if you're regular-looking than we're downright circus freak material. Take a look at some more "regular-looking" pics of sexy Miss Mara after the jump!
Steven Seagal- Lawman- Coming Soon – Watch more Funny VideosThe gods have been kind to us today. Here we have a first look at the new A&E reality series Steven Seagal: Lawman. Now that he's run out of C-Level rappers to co-star with, Seagal has been moonlighting with a New Orleans Sheriff's Department between film roles. And this fall we get to go on a ride along. Although the show is probably heavily staged, it's still more exciting than the alternative idea they were tossing around, Steven Seagal: Catsitter. You can take these links to the bank. THE BLOOD BANK. Zach Galifianakis goes to Dinner with Schmucks. (Empire) Supernatural Season 5 preview. (Dread Central) Shuttah Island gets pushed bahck. (Reuters) 30 Rock pornocized. (TV Squad) The many hairstyles of Nic Cage: A Celebration. (Latino Review)
In these hard economic times, Hollywood is hurting. Movie actors are having to stoop to TV. TV regulars are being relegated to guest star spots. And guest stars are having to join the circus or something like that. Celebrities endorsing ads has become a great way of supplementing their paltry incomes so they can keep up the mortgage payments on their respective chalets. Just witness current It Girl Zooey Deschanel in this ad for Cotton™. Yes, now that the material has Zooey's approval, the Cotton industry has hope of surviving. So WHAT IF ad agencies 'round the world stopped caring even more and went crazy with celebrity endorsements? Well, maybe this (fake) sh*t:
The wait is almost over. Season 4 of Adult Swim's fan-f**kin-tastic "Venture Brothers"is back for another season of action, adventure, sex, hilarity and intentional themes of epic failure around every corner. Join Dr. Venture, Hank, Dean and (maybe) Brock Samson(unless he really quit the Ventures). If you haven't seen Team Venture in action, do yourself a favor and rent the past three seasons on DVD (Season 3 is available on Blu-Ray. You won't regret it. Seriously… about a hundred times more pop culture jokes than in Juno, only actually funny and somehow more credible. Here are today's IN-credible links! Jessica Canizales Doesn't Like Her Shirt On (Gorillamask) Thoughts On The Disappearing Russian Cargo Ship (Holytaco) Bootleg Avatar Trailer Exceeds Expectations (Filmdrunk) 10 Bustiest Page 3 Girls Of All time (Manofest) Brew Fresh Coffee For Two Weeks Straight (Walyou) 50 Funniest Scenes In The History Of Film (Pajiba) 27 Playboy Playmates Who Twitter (Coedmagazine) Offices And House Music Don't Mix (Sickpigs) Brett Favre's Playbook Doodles (Maxim) The Time Traveler's Awful Wife (Celebjihad) 13 Ways To Have A Threesome (Mademan) Wilks Likely For UFC 105 Against 'The Immortal" (Cagepotato) Saw VI Poster Is Weird Boxing Glove Hands (Unreality) Dissolving Bikini Offers So Many Possibilities (Asylum) Hooters Girls, Golf, And Mr. Belding (Bustedcoverage) Weird Gallery Of Creative Drinking Cans (Uncoached) 2009 AFC South Preview (Moondogsports) Horses Fly When Cars Hit Them (Nothingtoxic) The Shaman At Comic-Con (Atomfilms) The Fourth Kind Trailer And Pics (Filmofilia)
The spiciest season yet of Top Chef premieres tonight on Bravo, and we can't wait to see what kind of foodie antics host Padma Lakshmi doles out in Sin City. This could quite possibly be the season where a naked Quick Fire Challenge gets things all hot and sweaty in the kitchen. Sure, it's unsanitary, but a nude Padma bossing those eager chefs around is too appealing of an idea to worry about E. coli. A word from Padma: "In India, we like healthier, more voluptuous types."Amen, sister. You gotta have something to grab on to. Check out a few more pics of Padma and all of her voluptuousness after the jump!
Hey there, modern gentlemen of the 1960s! Have you heard what's all the rage in prime time entertainment fifty years from now? "Mad Men," that's what! Why, on Sunday, 8/17/2009 (last sunday for us future folk), the Season 3 premiere enjoyed 2.8 million viewers. And that's basic cable, friend! What's basic cable you ask? Why, it's something that the entertainment industry will invent years from your time to dump off all the hooey, the likes with which respectable sponsors like Mutual of Omaha would never dare associate!
Weeds has a variety of incredibly attractive women on it, but in comparison to other shows, it has the milf market cornered. Much is said about Mary-Louise Parker, but the unsung hot mom of the show is Elizabeth Perkins. Playing Celia Hodes, she nails the "raging bitch" role down pat, almost too well. It makes us hope her character experiences a softening-up that occurs as a result of her new relationship with an oddly juvenile co-worker, preferrably played by Tom Hanks. That, or we could all just watch Big again. Either way, she's still hot.A word from Elizabeth: "My sisters are very academically inclined so whenever they would fix me up, it would always be from someone in their world, people they would find attractive. When they came to the door in suits, it was over."Luckily, most of our readership don't own suits, so it seems like we have a shot! Check out more hot photos of Elizabeth after the jump!
CLEVELAND FROM FAMILY GUY – Watch more Funny VideosThe panel for the "The Family Guy" spinoff "The Cleveland Show" didn’t have as much hype as the panels that were premiering big movie trailers or had anything remotely to do with either Lost or Twilight. What it did bring, however, was laughs, and lots of them. Instead of rambling, the group of panelists, which included Seth Macfarlane, Mike Henry, Jamie Kennedy, and the rest of the principal cast, let the show speak for itself, showing an extended clip of the pilot and a clip of an episode airing in December…
I understand that there's a natural skepiticism when one is informed of a both funny and hot woman; theoretically, the two cannot exist together, as it defies all common logic. But make no mistake: Jessi Klein is both hot and funny. She's been doing standup and clip shows for quite some time, and is now not only writing, but acting as the show-within-a-show's producer, Marla, on "Michael And Michael Have Issues." Meanwhile, I'm still trying to hire a team of scientists that will tell me how she is biologically possible. A word from Jessi: "When I meet a guy for the first time, I have no problem with his eyes wandering south for a second to check out my rack—that’s when I steal a glance at the little slip of landscape peeking out from the collar of his shirt. Is it heavily forested, gently grassy, or just a desert-like stretch of flesh, with nary a hair in sight to provide shade?" What a very fair way to handle that situation. Check out some classy (meaning with clothing, because she respects herself) photos and some of Jessi's standup routine after the jump!
By 9am, the line outside Hall H for the LOST: THE FINAL SEASON panel with co-creators Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse was already 1000+ fans deep, and the presentation wasn't until 11am. But the 6000+ fans that eventually made it inside were in for a real treat. Cuse and Lindelof came armed with tons of clips and almost equal amounts of special guests, and didn't disappoint even the hardcores that had been camping outside the San Diego Convention Center's Hall H since the night before.
After a montage of some of the creators' favorite LOST-related fan films, Cuse and Lindelof showed the audience a very well done promo for a fake throwback show that supposedly aired in the 80s, and which covered the mysterious Dharma Initiative that is such a huge part of the LOST mythology:
This afternoon, Olivia Munn, Kevin Pereira, Blair Butler and producers behind G4's megahit ATTACK OF THE SHOW held court in Room 5AB of the San Diego Convention Center for a little over an hour. The line to get in looked like it went about half the length of the entire San Diego Convention Center, and we're willing to bet over 500 people had to be turned away in the end. Too bad. Everyone who did get in received a complimentary kazoo and glowstick (more on these later)Introducing the show was none other than Apple's "Steve Jobs," and we have his entire 4-minute address here. Fast forward to the end if you just want a glimpse of Ms. Munn stepping out to her adoring fans.