THREE SHEETS Season 4 Sizzle Reel – Watch more Movie TrailersThis Monday night, July 20th, "Three Sheets" returns to television @ 10pm ET/PT on Fine Living Network (FLN). It's the start of Season 4, and host Zane Lamprey – a name that sounds like it should belong to the coolest sea creature EVER – is still traveling the world, drinking copious amounts of local alcoholic beverages, and following it up with… more booze. Occasionally, he eats bizarre foods, too, but usually is turned off by the taste and must wash it down with… more booze. In the United States, this would be called a drinking problem. But where Zane goes, the locals call this "way better than those crappy pamphlets at the tourism office," so they just laugh and laugh… and keep the beer/wine/rat poison flowing. Actually, I should let you know that this show in no way endorses irresponsible drinking. Lamprey is a pro, and can drink anyone under the table without losing his visuo-spatial perception, basic motor skills, or logic. Why Nick Nolte has not signed onto the show as Lamprey's faithful sidekick, I have no idea.
Not too long ago, about 20% of Screen Junkies readers likened us to the antichrist for having omitted T.A.R.D.I.S. from our list of Movie Time Machines. For those of you not in the know, T.A.R.D.I.S. is the inter-dimensional traveling phone booth from "Dr. Who," and not an elite task force of idiots, as the acronym may seem. An even smaller number of you may be aware that "Dr. Who" has a spinoff, called "Torchwood," airing on BBC America for the past few years. It's actually a pretty cool show – sort of like an "X-Files" meets "Buffy" meets funny accents and bad teeth (it's primarily based in Cardiff, Wales). And next week, Captain Jack and the covert operatives from Torchwood are getting a five part miniseries, the first seven minutes of which you can watch above. "Torchwood: Children of Earth" premieres five nights straight starting on Monday, July 20, 9:00 – 10:15 p.m. ET/PT on BBC AMERICA. 'Ere ah today's top links, guv'nah! Gillian Leigh Is Uber Good Looking (Gorillamask) 5 Terribly Awesome Examples Of Porn Acting (Holytaco) Bruno Terrorist Threatens To Sue (Filmdrunk) The 10 Funniest Workplace Training Videos Of All Time (Manofest) Finally: A Portable Microwave (Walyou) Pajiba's Final Thoughts On Michael Jackson (Pajiba) 9 Toys That Prepare Children For A Life Of Menial Labor (Cracked) Asians Make Animal Cruelty Seem Hilarious (Sickpigs) A New Kind Of Green Beer (Coedmagazine) Jessica Simpson Has A New Man (Celebjihad) 10 Things Harry Potter Teaches Men About The Real World (Mademan) Where Are They Now? The Cast Of Die Hard (Unreality) Awesomely Manly Cakes (Asylum) 10 Incredibly Entertaining One-Punch Knockouts (Uncoached) When Should One Wear A Condom? (Regretfulmorning) Get Tapped At Home With The Newcastle Draught Keg (Bachelorguy) US Senator Wants BCS Investigated (Moondogsports)
The MLB All Star Game is on tonight, and what better way to prepare you for it (other than legitimate baseball news, which I for one know none of) than with a girl gallery of a moderately famous actress who has %$&*d dated a buncha baseball players. That's right, it's Alyssa Milano. She's been linked to Brad Penny, Carl Pavano, Barry Zito, and Russell Martin. Although it seems her days of pretending she's Susan Sarandon's character in Bull Durham are over (she's engaged to a CAA agent now… he probably repped a baseball player on some movie), her love for the game still goes on. She's recently released a book entitled Safe At Home: Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic. A word from Alyssa: "I used to sleep nude – until the earthquake."While we try to digest what that quote means, YOU should check out more hot photos of Alyssa after the jump!
There's nothing like a trip to the ball field in the summer. The roar of the crowd, the organist's familiar theme, and the crack of the bat — all events that invigorate our senses. In honor of tonight's 2009 MLB All-Star Game we sat down to discuss which baseball films had the greatest impact on us as people, nay Americans. It sparked heated debate and words were said that cannot be taken back (Patrick called me a f** so I had my manager sucker punch him), but despite the brouhaha we were able to pare down the list to include the true Home Run Kings. So please join us as we pay salute to our national pastime with this montage of cinema's greatest hits (and we threw one TV show in there because it's too good to pass up).
"Entourage" made its triumphant return last night, and with it came the return of the adorable Emmanuelle Chriqui. She took a long break from playing Sloan, Eric's smoking hot girlfriend – much to the dismay of every heterosexual male who watches it in hopes of seeing attractive women (the same ones who watch to hear Ari say something cool that they can co-opt for themselves). The producers and writers must've realized they were all morons for not featuring her on the show, and now she's back. All is right with the world (except the economy, of course).A word from Emmanuelle: "You know, "Entourage" is the biggest surprise of my career. It's never really been my dream to be on a TV series. But every pilot season, my agent wants me to do something. So this time I said, 'Okay, look, if I do television, I want to do an HBO show.'"It's no surprise you'll find hot photos of Emmanuelle after the jump.
Happy Saturday, junkies! If you haven't already read our weekend preview, you might have missed that Comedy Central ran episodes of both "The State" and "Stella" in the wee hours of the morning. They likely didn't run this: an NSFW short written and driected by, and starring David Wain, Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter – a.k.a. Stella. It's my favorite of the "Stella Shorts," which preceded the Comedy Central show (a show which had Star Wars-level production value by comparison). Look for Moon and Iron Man 2's Sam Rockwell as a pizza delivery guy. With music by John Cougar Mellencamp.
I'll be honest; I haven't watched anything related to the WWE since 4th grade. I always felt that I needed a taste for Natty Light, trucker hats, and trailer homes to in order to fully appreciate the sport. And I had none of the those. But after scrambling to find a topical subject for today's girl gallery – and landing one – I now may be inclined to make a habit of WWE Friday Night Smackdown. Because there's always a chance that beautiful "Diva" Michelle McCool will show up. She's the current Divas World Champion, and, more importantly, used to be a 7th grade school teacher. I leave the immature schoolboy jokes to you.A word from Michelle: "I, like most of the other Divas, get this question often. Though the girls have done some absolutely beautiful, classy shoots with Playboy, it's not for me. For now, I'll be keeping my clothes on."Sh*t. Anway, check out some beautiful, classy photos of a scantily-clad Michelle after the jump!
By Patrick Schumacker
Hi there, fellow Junkies. After weeks of debate, late-night coffee runs, bruised egos and one pivotal coin flip, we've decided to bring back a daily dose of nightly TV recommendations. We haven't settled on a formula yet, so please bear with us as the way we deliver the goods will undoubtedly change more than Harry Knowles changes shirts (read: twice a week). And PLEASE, PLEASE give us constructive criticism in the comments section so that we can make this as entertaining and informative as possible. It's our way of giving back to the community while indirectly making people fatter so "Dance Your Ass Off" is never hurting for new contestants. Here's What to Watch:
Where You've Seen Her: If you are a man that has had a girlfriend within the past two or so years (or are just particularly interested in scandalous primetime soap operas), you've probably seen Leighton Meester on TV's "Gossip Girl." If you are a man that has had no girlfriend or affliction for girly shows recently, you might remember her as the smoking hot virgin pop star Justine Chapin on "Entourage." Soon most every guy will probably know her from her highly touted sex tape, which reportedly features her using her feet in creative ways. What a novel concept! A Word From Leighton: "I don't feel guilty at all if I'm just lying around, one of my best guilty pleasures is doing absolutely nothing"Check out a screenshot of the sex tape itself, and other hot (yet less seedy) photos of Leighton Meester after the jump:
The past week has been a tough one for celebrity grovelers like myself. First, Ed McMahon (sidekick of sidekicks) passes, then Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, and perhaps the most surreal, Mr. “As Seen on TV” Billy Mays. Not to sound crass, but Farrah and Ed were quite past their primes and neither passed suddenly (Ed was old and Farrah had battled cancer for a long time). So really, it’s a race to who was the biggest Celebrity death:
There are times in recent years when I am not sure if I am watching the News or "Access Hollywood." The reporting is as equally superficial and shallow for both nowadays. Nancy O'Dell should be a news correspondent for FOX, CNN, or MSNBC; she looks the part and can clearly read a teleprompter as good as the other "women journalists" at these corporate news channels. Which one is Nancy O’Dell from "Access Hollywood" and which one is a "serious journalist?" I have no idea, either.
Tonight, National Geographic Channel is airing an all-new documentary called "Hitler's Stealth Fighter." Apparently in the final months of World War II, American troops discovered a top-secret facility in Germany with an advanced, jet-propelled aircraft like no one had ever seen before. It was called "The Horten Ho 229." It was shaped like a massive bat wing… like something out of Star Wars. But its wooden body was most definitely man-made. So what did Uncle Sam's army do with it? Well, they brought back to the United States to be studied, of course. And everything that they learned about the Third Reich's mystery plane stayed a mystery… until now. Screen Junkies had a chance to check out an advance screener of the doc, and it's definitely worth watching. Aside from showing you this prototype of airborne insidiousness inside and out, it also makes you think about what might have happened had Hitler and the Nazis gotten their plane manufactured en masse and into the skies. It's some scary scheisse. "Hitler's Stealth Fighter" airs tonight at 9PM ET/PT on National Geographic Channel. Check out some more images and clips after the jump:
John Gosselin is free!!! Jon & Kate announced on their show yesterday that they are getting a divorce after ten years of marriage. I find this less surprising than the fact that they have eight children and are still legally sane. Divorce is sad, but for the kids that means twice as many Christmas presents, right?! Wait, it just means twice as much therapy? Booooo…
HBO Miniseries – THE PACIFIC – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERS Above is the trailer for the Steven Spielberg/Tom Hanks-produced "The Pacific." It's a 10-Part miniseries dealing with three interwoven stories of American soldiers fighting the Japanese in the Pacific during World War II (hence the title). If you look closely, you'll notice one of the key characters is played by Joseph Mazzello, whom you will undoubtedly remember as young Tim Murphy, the grandson of John Hammond… in Jurassic Paaaaaaaaahk. I for one did a double take. We missed you, Lil' Joey. Here are today's Top Links, which also require double takes.Kellie Maines Hanging Out By The Water (GorillaMask) What Your Facial Hair Really Says About You (HolyTaco) Victoria Jackson Walked Out Of Year One, Citing Fat Gays As Problem (FilmDrunk) The 10 Sexiest Fast Food Commercials Of All Time (Manofest) Big Lebowski Bobble Heads… There's A Jesus, But No Walter? (Walyou) The Gooby Trailer Is Mildly Disturbing (Pajiba) 7 Man-Made Substances That Laugh In The Face Of Science (Cracked) Right-Wing College Students Rap About Conservatism, Lameness Ensues (SickPigs) American Grads Unemployable, Says Top Indian CEO (CoedMagazine) Extended Previews For UFC 100 (CagePotato) The 20 Best Comedies Of The Last Decade (Unreality) 11 Famous People Who Contracted Malaria (Asylum) Greg Oden, Now 21, Is Attracting All Kinds Up In The Club (BustedCoverage) Like The Giant Piano Scene In Big, But More Impressive (Uncoached) 5 Official Drinks Of Summer (RegretfulMorning) The 5 S's That Get You The Girl (BachelorGuy) Stupid Newspaper Headlines (MoondogSports) How To Cook On Your Car Engine (MadeMan) Ultra-Violent Videogames Don't Derange Kids, The World Of Warcraft Does (NothingToxic) More Of The Weirdest Games From Japan (AtomFilms) A 5-Minute Clip From The Animated Sci-Fi Flick 9 (Filmofilia)
The Futon Critic snagged a great interview with David S. Goyer (The Dark Knight, Blade) and Marc Guggenheim, Executive Producers on the new ABC sci-fi/drama FlashForward. In it they discuss the confusion over the show's labeled genre, the difficulties of writing a serialized show for today's viewers, and the mysterious date of April 29, 2010, the day the characters experienced their flash forwards. If you're not aware of the show's premise, basically when a mysterious event causes the entire world to black out for two minutes and seventeen seconds, humanity is given a glimpse into its near future, and every man, woman, and child is forced to come to grips with whether their destinies can be avoided or fulfilled. Read the interview in full by clicking on Goyer's delightful smile below.
Ian, please write some copy about these shorts here. Just include some info about what they are, and how they fit into Showtime's agenda… maybe make some light joke about them, but don't be too critical because we're being asked to promote them. And they're kinda funny anyway. Make sure you change the time and date so that this doesn't get buried under anything it shouldn't.
Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins once sang, "Though we might hate to admit it/There are always two sides to every story." I bet the two ex-Genesis frontmen had no idea they'd be singing about "Battlestar Galactica."SCI FI Wire posted an exclusive trailer for the BSG spinoff movie called The Plan, which they claim "will likely come out on DVD and will also air this fall—recaps the story of the destruction of the human Colonies from the point of view of the Cylons."Screen Junkies' resident BSG expert, Jim "Bad Mother Frakker" Connelly expressed his concern over what the toll this film will take on the lives of all Battlestar fans. Said Connelly, "[I'm] worried EJO is right, and that it'll spur rewatching the whole series again!" I'm guessing Connelly's EJO is Edward James Olmos and not the Electronic Journal of Oncology. The latter did have a great article on smoking and polymorphism in xenobiotic metabolizing enzymes, though. What say you, fans? Would rewatching the entire series be that bad?
Kudos to you, Mark Paul Gosselaar, for being able to make fun of yourself. Kudos, to you, sir! Last night on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Mark Paul Gosselaar, currently starring in "Raising the Bar" on TNT, showed up in full "Saved By the Bell" Zach Morris regalia, and did a classic Zach Morris direct-address to camera. It was kind of uncanny how much he can still pull off Bayside High's coolest student ever. The phone you could choke a horse with played no small part in selling it. Say what you want about Jimmy Fallon as a host. He's still finding his legs. But you can't deny he and his team of writers – including head staffer A.D. Miles from "The State" – are coming up with some material that rivals Conan's Late Night crew.
EMBED-HUNG Trailer – Watch more free videos If you've been wondering what Alexander Payne has been doing since Sideways look no further. He directed the pilot for this HBO comedy about a down on his luck high school PE teacher (Thomas Jane) who decides to take advantage of his biggest asset by becoming a male escort. And if you can't figure out what that asset is by the title of the show then you're in for quite a surprise. HUNG premieres on HBO Sunday June 28th at 10PM.
Tonight! Kicking off his week-long historical broadcast from Iraq – the first time any show has broadcast from a tour entertaining U.S. Troops – Stephen Colbert dons a camouflage suit, and shaves his head in support of our men and women overseas. In this show, Colbert's first guest, General Ray Odierno (pictured above) received a message from President Obama ordering him to shave Colbert's noggin. Spoiler alert! His hair will grow back thanks to genetics. Image courtesy of AP Images[via Perez Hilton]
The big news in basic cable this weekend was that Stephen Colbert, comedian and host of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" has arrived in Iraq for a week of taping the program from an actual war zone. It's a bold move on Comedy Central's part and, depending on your definition of "war zone," potentially a very brave move on Colbert, himself. But some could argue that Colbert still has a lot of work to do if he wants to rival his colleague, "The Daily Show" host Jon Stewart in the race to be dubbed a Real American Hero. Loyal reader Ron Najor made such an argument in an impassioned email sent to Screen Junkies this weekend, and we liked it so much, we thought we'd publish it. Unlike the majority of posts on SJ, this is a completely serious rant. But don’t panic. We embedded some funny clips.
Above is an extended promo for Fox's upcoming hour-long drama, "Human Target," based on the Vertigo comic book of the same name. As you can see from the clip, the show follows a badass named Christopher Chance (Mark Valley) who travels around getting paid to "be a vest." What kind of vest, you ask? A stylish, yet durable one that's also bulletproof. I'd like to think it's an elegant kevlar-wool blend in an earth-toned argyle pattern, because argyle will be back this Fall… just like Fox's sunday night drama time slot. "Human Target" also stars Chi McBride ("Pushing Daisies") and Jackie Earle Haley (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Watchmen). It is slated to premier in January, 2010.[Thanks to Bruce Simmons at ScreenRant for the video, and the info on the airdate]
By Len Snodgrass It’s Snodgrass: The Sequel! And in the vein of all James Cameron sequels, this one is better than the first. Last week, I brought you THE BEST REALITY SHOWS FOR SUMMER ’09. Now it’s time to lay out the summer shows – both returning and new – with fictional characters you sometimes wish were real, instead of those shows with real people who often can’t believe actually exist. Can I get a "Huzzah!" for drama and sitcom writers everywhere?! There’s a reason the Writer’s Guild of America recognizes you and let’s the reality TV folks fend for themselves…
By Len SnodgrassLen Snodgrass here. When I recently informed ScreenJunkies that my love of television rivals my love of MMORPGs they requested I generate a commentary on this summer’s upcoming reality program offerings. I weighed the toll this assignment would take on my actual viewing of television, and ultimately decided the minimal rate I’d be receiving for my contribution would suffice to fund my Xbox Live subscription. I dove right in to my research and emerged with ten unscripted shows that should keep your interest through the summer season. Some of them are on simultaneously, so be sure to get your DVRs properly configured.
This clip has been farting around on for a little while now, but we thought we'd share it with you on this Memorial Day weekend, because for us, Memorial Day is not only about remembering our troops; it's also about commiting great flatulence scenes to memory. This is one of those scenes. It's a clip from "Michael and Michael Have Issues," a new half-hour comedy series that airs in July, appropriately enough, on Comedy Central. The show stars Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, who most recently worked on Comedy Central's (sadly) short-lived "Stella" series alongside fellow ex-"The State" member David Wain, who's now off directing important "issue" films for big Hollywood studios, like Role Models. As much as we're fans of Mr. Wain, we think Michael and Michael will be just fine without the f&*king turncoat.
This Fall, ABC will premiere its hour-long drama, "Flash Forward," which stars Joseph Fiennes and chronicles the aftermath of a global event in which everyone in the world blacks out for 2 minutes, 17 seconds, and then has mysterious visions of six months… into the future. After the jump, watch this über-expository clip that pretty much explains the entire show, and then tell us at "Family Guy" creator (and voice of pretty much all the male characters) Seth MacFarlane isn't in this scene. The king of TV show flashbacks in a show about flash fowards? TNT may know drama. But ABC knows irony.
Andy Samberg and Rashida Jones in Best Villain – Watch more Movie Trailers
The MTV Movie Awards are back with another “For Your Consideration” short. This time, Andy Samberg goes for “Best Villain” in the decidedly non-villainous Gentle Dismemberment. While the wooing of Rashida Jones with a wicker basket of puppies does not scream “evil genius,” his dastardly top hat and twirly mustache sure as hell makes him look the part.
Fox is the first of the big networks to announce its 2009-2010 lineup. There are some promising new comedies on the slate, starting with "The Cleveland Show," which follows the Griffins' neighbor as he and his son move in with Cleveland's old high school sweetheart and her kids in Virginia. Also includes is "Glee," the new high school-based comedy from Ryan Murphy ("Nip/Tuck"), starring Jane Lynch (Role Models). You can check out a preview of the show on Tuesday, May 19th @ 9PM ET/PT. Promo for Glee on Fox – Watch more Movie TrailersAnd rounding out the comedies will be "Brothers," starring Darryl "Chill" Mitchell and… ex-New York Giant Michael Strahan!!! It's about a former NFL star who returns to live with his family in his mother's house, so he can get his life back on track. No word on whether or not Strahan will be portraying a quirkier, huskier Michael Vick. Read the full press release – including the list of new and returning dramas, like the Jackie Earle Haley-starring "Human Target" and Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse" – after the jump.