News - Page 75

Golden Globes Photo Recaplet
Monday, January 12 by

(Kevin Connolly is 2.5ft tall) Awards shows are pointless. They are for gay dudes, lonely women, and people who work in the entertainment business. The Golden Globes last night showed just how utterly predictable most of them can be. Do you really need to have a panel of judges tell you that Heath Ledger deserved to win for The Dark Knight? No. You saw the movie and made your own decision, and it wasn't hard. But for some reason I still get a surge of pride when my predictions come true. It's basically like a long, drawn out game of Jeopardy.  With that said, here's the breakdown from last nights Globes, and a few pictures of hot women.

Thursday TV: The Orange Bowl & Salma Hayek as a Sexy Nurse
Thursday, January 8 by

Two Heisman trophy winners and two of the top most skull-crushingest teams, but only one National Champ. It's FOOTBALL night on the TV, with one little hitch. You have the choice of take advantage of Thirsty Thursday and catching the game at a bar OR staying home and piling two TV's on top of each other so you can watch the game AND the return of 30 Rock. Tonight's episode features uber-babe Salma Hayek as a guest in a nurse uniform. At least that's what the official NBC synopsis has lead our boners to believe. Decisions decisions gents.

Feminine Lesbain Toothpaste FOTC Vid
Thursday, January 8 by

[NOTE TO OUR BREAK.COM VIEWERS: If you reached this post by thinking it was a video on, don't get pissed. Its still a Break video. We occasionally do these 'plugs' as a way to let you know about hot sites in the Break Media Network. Welcome to a source for the latest reviews, recaps, news, and video about all things movies and TV. We've been working our tits off on this site and want you to check it out. ENJOY.]Flight of The Concords was one of the best new shows on TV last year. If you haven't seen it, then find a friend with HBO and tune in for the premiere on Jan 18th at 10 pm ET/PT.

Post Holiday Wrap-Up
Friday, January 2 by

It was a weird holiday season. If you have not been glued to the internet, rest assured that you have not missed much, other than a little lawsuit, some new trailers, and this picture from the cover of a 1976 edition of Sesame Street Magazine. Here is a wrap-up of some of what has happened while a lot of you were on extended vacation. Have a good friday, enjoy the weekend, and get ready to f'ing work your tits off come monday. We have an economy to fix, bro.

Full 1st Episode of United States of Tara Free Online
Monday, December 29 by

Diablo Cody's first foray into the world of TV is set to debut in three weeks. But Showtime has it on their website for free HERE. The VIP password is "Tara." Early reports suggest that the girl that plays Kate is super hot, so I did a little research. And to be honest, I think she is good looking but HOT might be a little bit of a stretch. You decide. Pictures after the jump.

The Television Goes on Vacation
Thursday, December 18 by

Thursdays are usually a big night for the TV. But what with the holidays and all, the nets are going with some tried and trusted content while shows take a break. And by tried and trusted I am referring to Total Recall. We also recommend Paul F. Thompkins on Conan (according to his Twitter feed the shoot went well). All that and more in tonight's TV lineup.

CNN Takes Reporting To New Level
Thursday, December 18 by

We're a TV site, but we don't really cover network news. There are just too many opportunities to skewer the constant flow of absurdity– the unending waterfalls of crap would just distract us from the other duties of Screenjunkies. But I just could not resist this amazing front page story that showed up on CNN this morning: Really? There's no good way to tell a kid they have cancer? I'd imagine there are some ways that are worse than others, such as: – Billy, you have cancer, and it's because you masturbate too much. – Billy, you have cancer and that's why mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. – Billy, you have cancer. Also, there is no Santa Claus. – Billy, isn't this roller coaster fun? Well enjoy it now because in three months you'll be so weak from 3 rounds of chemo you wont be able to lift an X-Box controller.   As always CNN, thanks for the hard hitting news. Now lets all watch this video. Wait till they spray the associate producer with cologne. Listen for his name.

Tuesday, December 9 by

OK, so I type in some stuff, and then I type in some more stuff, and then I add a page break.

Tonight’s Lineup: The Office Gets Messy
Thursday, November 20 by

Thursdays are basically stay at home and watch TV nights. Without even having to move a muscle you have an hour and a half of solid comedy gold. Here’s a quick breakdown. 

A Fanboy Rants: In Defense Of Heroes
Friday, October 31 by

Welcome to a new column where we let our many entertainment aficionado readers sound off on matters of immense import. This week’s rant comes from Brendon in Seattle, WA. With the news this morning that a previously popular television show will be losing some of its top production talent due to poor ratings, I believe you will find this opinion piece to be both timely and impassioned.  Without further adieu, I give you “In Defense of Heroes.”

Dear Reader: Changes Are Afoot
Tuesday, October 28 by

Times are tough. Luckily the Juggernaut that is Screenjunkies has remained relatively unaffected.  You might have noticed some interruption in content lately like missing movie reviews and TV recaps.  This was due in most part to a move from our old headquarters in Dubai to our new offices just outside of Missoula, Montana. 

Spike Jonez To Direct New Weezer Video
Tuesday, October 21 by

The hardest thing about filmmaking is accurately communicating the strange things in your head that seem important. This is the reason that Spike Jonez is basically my hero.  He comes up with abstract, high-concept ideas and manages to turn them into amazing finished products. Here's some videos of a few of his previous works.

The 7 Most Underrated Hot Chicks on TV
Thursday, October 16 by

It's easy to appreciate the Tricia Helfers and Hayden Panettieres currently strolling across our TV screens, making us disappointed with the caliber of girls that are actually willing to spend time with us.

D.L. Hughley And CNN Attempt The Already Attempted
Wednesday, October 15 by

The Onion, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert are funny because they have come from comedy. The writers and producers have a comedic background, and have made careers out of intelligent humor. When you try to do funny news in the other direction—by starting with news and letting news people run the show—it’s always a disaster.  Now we have a new one, from D.L. Hughley and CNN.

Eric Cartman’s 9 Most Evil Moments
Wednesday, October 8 by

South Park is back for the second part of season 12 and it has reminded me of how much I love hating Eric Cartman. That little boy has done some truly messed up stuff and this is some of the worst. Or should I say best? Whatever. 9. Molesting Butters

Want to Write for Screenjunkies?
Wednesday, October 8 by

We only have so many eyeballs, which means we need a little help covering every little thing that happens on TV. We're looking for aspiring writers, or at least people who speak English, to write some episode recaps for us. You'll get a byline and everything. If you want in, send a sample recap of the latest episode of your favorite TV show to

Vatican Talks For Week Straight On TV
Monday, October 6 by

The Vatican has planned a 139-hour bible reading marathon on Italian TV in hopes of making the church more cool. They are calling it “a sort of ‘Big Brother’ of the Holy Scriptures, but with really high cultural value.” Wow.

Bonus Features: Ralph Wiggum Is Rich
Friday, October 3 by

I guess all of that Simpsons money should be more than enough to buy Ralph Wiggum a nice Bimmer, but he doesn't have to flaunt it like that. Cartoon characters are real, right? I hope so. Otherwise all of that stock I bought in the Planet Express delivery company isn't going to be worth much. But then again, I guess no stock is worth much right now. Take that economy!

Robin Getting His Own Pre-Batman TV Show
Wednesday, October 1 by

If I had to pick a character from the DC universe to get his or her own TV show, Robin would probably have been somehwere near the bottom of the list near Hawkman, but The Graysons, which tells the story of the Boy Wonder before he falls in with Batman has apparently gotten the green light by the CW. Here's hoping it's not another Birds of Prey. Yikes.

Saudi Cleric Issues Fatwa On TV Execs
Tuesday, September 30 by

As weird and conservative as politics get in the US of A, we usually don’t have the Pat Robertsons and Jerry Falwells (R.I.P.) calling for the death of TV executives and show presenters over ‘immoral’ content. Saudi Arabia is a tad different.

13 Spin-Off Worthy Simpsons Characters
Tuesday, September 30 by

With 20 seasons and a successful movie under their belts, the next logical expansion of the Simpsons empire would be a spin-off. If it's going to happen, here's a list of characters that would be perfect in the spotlight, plus a few that would totally suck. 13. Kent Brockman

Sarah Michelle Gellar Getting Her Own Non-Vampire HBO Show
Friday, September 26 by

Unless you were a big Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, this might not sound like big news. But, you should consider the fact that her new show, which is going to be called The Wonderful Maladys is going to be on HBO…a channel that shows boobs.

Kanye Developing Muppet-Like Show
Tuesday, September 23 by

Looks like Kanye has stopped smashing cameras at LAX long enough to develop a show for Comedy Central. They concept? Hip hop meets the Muppets. Sweet.

7 “Heroes” Powers We Wouldn’t Want
Tuesday, September 23 by

With the return of Heroes on Monday, I have heard a bunch of people talking about which power from the show they would want for themselves. But there are a few abilities that never get any love, mainly because they would be useless in the real world. These are the seven powers I wouldn't bother putting on tights for. 7. Mass Poisoning

Tonight’s TV That Doesn’t Suck: Worst Week and Heroes
Monday, September 22 by

Days are getting shorter and temperatures are getting colder, which means staying in and watching TV is even more appealing. Plus, everyone is broke, but luckily, you have the series premiere of Worst Week and three hours of Heroes to keep you busy tonight. Read on for our previews of both. Worst Week

30 Rock, Mad Men and John Adams Go On Emmy-Winning Spree
Monday, September 22 by

No one expects you to actually watch the Emmy Awards Show. I have an unnatural relationship with TV and I can barely make it through them without falling asleep. But, that doesn't mean we can't criticize their choices from the comfort of our office chairs the morning after they happen.

Bonus Features: Monday Afternoon Link Brigade
Monday, September 15 by

Tonight is the season four finale of Weeds and I am extremely excited. This has been the best season in a while and reports are that Mary Louise Parker gets more naked than ever tonight. 10 PM can't come soon enough.

The Simpsons Take On Peanuts, Transformers for Treehouse of Horror
Monday, September 15 by

You've all laughed hysterically at the Peanuts vs. Goodfellas mash-up, but according to an interview with executive producer, Al Jean, this year's Simpsons Halloween show will poke fun at The Great Pumpkin as well as the Transformers.

Jason Bateman’s New Show Really Sucks
Thursday, September 11 by

I remember in English class how they use to tell us that we had to get through at least a few chapters of a book before we were allowed to decide that it was not worth reading. I made it exactly 4 minutes into Fox’s Do Not Disturb before hurling my TV at a Hurricane Orphan.

Bonus Features: Hump Day Link Dump
Wednesday, September 10 by

It's Wednesday, and you know what that means. We're only two days away from the release of the new Meg Ryan chick flick, The Women! I would rather star in a remake of 2 girls, 1 cup than watch that. Even if I was playing the cup. Here are some links to help get that image out of your head. Not the 2 girls, 1 cup images, I know you're fine with those, but the Meg Ryan images. Yikes.