News - Page 70

‘LOST’ Season Five Bloopers are Silly
Wednesday, December 9 by

Lost Season 5 Bloopers – Watch more Funny VideosThe LOST characters should spend less time joking around and more time figuring out why the f*ck they're on that island. The final season drops February 2nd on ABC. These links drop right now. Flowchart to Determine What Holiday to Celebrate (HolyTaco) Norwegian Goalie Makes Amazing Goal-Line Save (TotalProSports) Camouflage Can't Hide Stupidity (TheChive) 15 Freakishly Large Babies (SuperTremendous) I Want to F You With a Cobra (FilmDrunk) The Greatest Love Stories of the Aughts (Pajiba) Team Edward's Starting Left Tackle Injured (CelebJihad) A Literal A to Z List of CGI Movie Characters (Unreality) Cheech & Chong Blaze a New Trail (Asylum) Tennessee Using Tail to Attract Football Recruits? (BustedCoverage) Coffee That'll Wake You the F Up (RegretfulMorning) What Does Your Headache Mean? (MadeMan) Google Satellite and Sprint Cup Teams (AllLeftTurns) Russian Car Accident Turns to Fistfight (NothingToxic) Hanukkah is a Time for Sharing (Atom)

Bobby Bottleservice Auditions for ‘Jersey Shore’
Wednesday, December 9 by

Bobby Bottleservice – Jersey Shore Audition Tape – watch more funny videosBobby Bottleservice (the hilarious Nick Kroll) is back, and he's trying to claim his rightful place in the inevitable second season of Jersey Shore on MTV. With Bobby B as one of the tenants, the house will be more Guidorrific than ever. He'll bring his hair gel, Cadillac, and sloppy grammar to the party, and the overly tan dwarf ladies will eat it up like a big plate of gabagoolooka (my made up Italian deli meat).

‘Jersey Shore’ Links Ed Hardy Hats and Sucker Punches
Wednesday, December 9 by

MTV's Jersey Shore is getting A LOT of negative attention, which is a shame because as I have stated on a few occasions that it is a solid show, an important show. In addition to numerous catchphrases they have now given us a piece of footage more compelling than the Zapruder Film. Watch in wild wonder as a drunken Seaside bar patron fist pumps directly into pint-sized castmember Snooki's face:   Bada-bing. Bada-BOOM! That. Is. Horrifying. Did you see the absent look in the assailant's eyes? It's as if he was under mind control a la The Manchurian Candidate. Did Chris Brown install that Naked Gun chip in his brain? We would ask Snooki but she isn't slated to wake up until February. And it should be known that Screen Junkies doesn't advocate this kind of violence. If someone offends you, tell them to shut their stupid face. You don't hit. You punch with your words. Unless it's a douchebag. Then you rail on him.

‘Cougar Town’ Actress Courteney Cox
Wednesday, December 9 by

Courteney Cox is 45 and still smokin' hot. There's something about dark hair and piercing blue eyes that makes me feel all funny in my nether regions. You can currently see Courteney playing the appropriate role of a cougar in Cougar Town on ABC. A word from Courteney: "I don't think I'm too thin at all. I understand when people say, 'Well your face gets gaunt."Don't listen to them, Cox! You're beau–hehehe. Cox…Check out more maturely hot pics after the jump.

‘Scrubs’ Actress Sarah Chalke
Tuesday, December 8 by

Sarah Chalke was dubbed Second Becky on Roseanne, having replaced the first Becky several seasons in, but she's better known for her role as shrieky Dr. Elliot Reid on Scrubs. She's got a hot bod, but apparently she's all pregnant now. Laaaame.      A word from Sarah: "I don't just play a slut on TV, I am a slut."Did I mention Sarah is pregnant?Check out some more slutty pics after the jump.

10 Most Twisted Holiday Specials
Tuesday, December 8 by

It’s that time of year again. We all get presents, eat a lot of candy and drink extra sugary Starbucks drinks. Most people might make a tradition out of the family friendly holiday specials that air this time of year. I prefer the more twisted ones. They’re not only more realistic, they’re just more fun. Here are the top 10 twisted holiday specials. If they’re not in annual rotation on TV, you can at least find them on DVD or online.  The Simpsons: Roasting On An Open Fire 

‘Jersey Shore’ Star “The Situation” Speaks
Tuesday, December 8 by

 MTV's Jersey Shore premiered this past Thursday and has taken the world hostage in the subsequent days. In that time, Italian-American groups have cried foul over the series' stereotypical depiction of their race and, Domino's has backed out as a sponsor.  Cast member Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is taking it all in stride and eating up the attention. Not since The White Rapper Show's John Brown, has a reality character sparked such a love him / hate him debate through sheer douchitude. Personally, I love the guy. Somebody hand him an excessively-tanned six-packed Emmy statuette immediately.Entertainment Weekly has a short interview with The Situation where he talks about his newfound fame, the show's backlash, and what it truly means to be a "guido." (EW)

EXCLUSIVE! ‘Heroes’ Will Most Likely Get a 5th Season
Friday, December 4 by

 Whole lot of shaking going on at NBC and more specifically Heroes. This past week we saw the killing off of Adrian Pasdar's character, heard the news that Sendhil Ramamurthy has been cast in a new pilot for the network, and the network itself merged with Comcast. Everyone is taking the departure of Ramamurthy and Pasdar as a sign that the show is canceled. ScreenJunkies reached out to an inside source at Heroes who confirmed these rumors as false.Our source tells us that Ramamurthy got a pilot and asked the writers to write him out. They obliged.  Everyone loves Sendhil Ramamurthy and his character, but the truth is he didn't have a lot of screen time this season, and the writers felt they shouldn't stand in the way of the actor's future. Look for Mohinder Suresh to make his exeunt in an episode airing in late January.Our source further tells us that given that Heroes (and it's DVD sales) is huge all over the world, it's doubtful it will be canceled anytime soon. From a business standpoint, another season would bring the number of shows up to 100 which would position Heroes as a bona fide asset for future ancillary ventures. In fact, as The Hollywood Reporter pointed out, Comcast CEO Brian Roberts gave a verbal shout-out to Heroes on his phone call to investors after the merger went through yesterday. It's always a good thing to impress the new boss. That's why I wear tight t-shirts around the office. How you gonna hate on a guy who looks like Rambo pretty much with his shirt off?

Rammstein Vs. Cookie Monster
Thursday, December 3 by

I always knew Cookie Monster was meant for greater things, like a heavy metal German rock band that enjoys pyrotechnics.Don't. Don't hate. Don't hate these links.Flowchart to Determine If You Can Have a Mistress (HolyTaco) Hot Brazilian Bikini Roller Boxing (TotalProSports) Natalie Portman Photoshoot (TheChive) 10 Most Depressing 'My Life is Twilight' Entries (FilmDrunk) Five Best UK TV Shows of the Aughts (Pajiba) Rachel Uchitel Says She's Top Slut (CelebJihad) Gallery of Sweet Custom iPod Docks (Unreality) 7 Guys Who Lived Much Longer Than They Should Have (Asylum) All-Time Scariest Playboy Playmate (BustedCoverage) Nada Surf 'Popular' Cheerleader All Grown Up (RegretfulMorning) Maintain a Mistress Better Than Tiger (MadeMan) NASCAR Unveils New Video Site (AllLeftTurns)

Will Arnett & David Cross in ‘The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret’
Thursday, December 3 by

Those lucky bastards in the UK have it all. Fantastic cuisine, excellent dental care, reasonably-sized ears, Australian layabouts, and now David Cross's hilarious Channel 4 sitcom The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. We've posted a clip (featuring Cross, Will Arnett, and Spike Jonze) below that sets up the premise of the series. Arnett plays an arrogant boss who spits out the grandest cuss-strings since Rip Torn. He mistakes Cross's Todd Margaret as a man of action and immediately trusts him to be his ambassador. Check out the NSFW clip:   Did you like it? Did you like the noodles line?? Yeah, thought you would. Want to see more? Well, if you live in the UK you can watch the entire episode at this link. Lucky limey bastards…

2009 Summed Up in Auto Tunes
Wednesday, December 2 by

2009 in Auto Tunes – Watch more Funny Videos  The above video provides a hip, T-Pain-esque summary of this year we just all lived through together. On Tuesday December 8th, VH1 is bringing us 2009: That Really Happened?! In true VH1 fashion, the show will provide a look back at the year that subjected us to Jon & Kate Plus 8, Susan Boyle, Lady GaGa, Chris Brown (the fighter, not the lover), and many, many more things we wish we could erase from our memories. All topics will be delivered by a unique panel of journalists, comedians, and pop culture aficionados that always deliver a good skewing. Here are today's links. Oh Look! A Tiger Woods Flash Game! (HolyTaco) 20 Pics of Chicks That Will Kick Your Ass (TotalProSports) Celebrities and Their Most Famous Roles (TheChive) Wanna Hear Mickey Rourke Rap? (FilmDrunk) Time Lapse of Monster Worms and Sea Stars (SuperTremendous) Another 100 Great Quotes from The Wire (Pajiba) Tiger Woods' Mistress Releases Texts and Voicemail (CelebJihad) 20 Examples of Anime Gettin' Naughty (Unreality) 10 November Headlines That Should be TV Movies (AOL) Increase Your Chances of Getting Laid (Asylum) Jillian Beyor is Your New WWE Diva (BustedCoverage) Cute Russian Singer Falls Off Stage (RegretfulMorning) Older Women Vs. Younger Women (MadeMan) Real Diary of a NASCAR Driver (AllLeftTurns) Drunk Redneck Takes KO Plunge Off Swingset (NothingToxic) Teens, Booze, and a Hote Tub (Atom)

‘Nip/Tuck’ Actress Kelly Carlson
Wednesday, December 2 by

Kelly Carlson is best known for playing porn star/plastic surgery lover/Christian Troy addict/meth user Kimber Henry on the FX show Nip/Tuck. She's just one character and has been through all that crap. No wonder the show is FUBAR this season, they've jumped like twenty sharks! But damn if it doesn't entertain.A word from Kelly: "There are actual people that are in your house and I don't know who they are. They say something to me and it usually makes no sense, like, I picked an orange today…"There are ghost orange pickers in my house?! I knew it was a bad idea to build on an orchard/Indian buriel ground. Thank you, Psychic Kelly.Check out more pics of a brick sh*thouse after the jump.  

TV Mom, Meredith Baxter is a Gay
Wednesday, December 2 by

Meredith Baxter, the actress who played Elyse Keaton on TV's Family Ties, revealed on this morning's Today Show broadcast that she is a lesbian. "I am a lesbian, and it was a later-in-life recognition," Baxter told Matt Lauer. After three failed marriages Baxter realized her attraction to women and has been in a few same sex relationships since. Baxter is currently in four-year relationship with a woman she met through friends. She had this to say about her partner, "Oh, It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed. And I can't remember what I ever did before. What would we do baby, without us? What would we dooo baby, without us? And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through. What would we do baby, without us? Sha la la la." And Matt Lauer kinda just sat there. See for yourself in the video below.

‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ is Coming to Your TV Screen
Tuesday, December 1 by

Jane Austen's regency classic Pride and Prejudice got an undead facelift last year with the remixed novelization Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. The book's Twitter feed announced today that the tale is being adapted for the small screen as a six-part miniseries. No word yet on which network it will air, or on casting for that matter. Though I'd like to nominate Kiera Knightley. She's got the experience of playing Elizabeth Bennet and the physique of a zombie. Basically any role in this thing is hers for the taking. (via io9)

‘Steven Seagal: Lawman’ Extended Preview
Monday, November 30 by

A&E launches the single greatest reality series about an aikido champion/actor turned cop this Wednesday with Steven Seagal: Lawman (aka Fat Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans). For those not in the know, Steven Seagal has volunteered with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Department for the past 20 years. This show chronicles his main duties giving martial arts training to the officers as well as assisting with arrests. It's almost just like COPS, the only difference being the perps are arrested by the man on the poster they have framed in their living rooms. Have a look at an earlier preview or check out the brand new, extended preview below. I'm looking forward to the cliffhanger season finale when Seagal's rogue tactics require that he hand over his badge, never ending donut bowl, and gun. 

Get On-Track By Enrolling At LOST University
Monday, November 30 by

 If things didn't pan out so well for you at the local technical college, you may still be in luck. The upcoming Blu-Ray release of LOST: Season Five will include the LOST University feature. Go Polar Bears!For those not well-versed in fictional colleges, LOST University is a Blu-Ray extra that allows you to study subjects pertinent to the LOSTverse such as Physics of Time Travel, History of Hieroglyphics, New Physics with Daniel Faraday, and of course, Jungle Survival (better pay attention Sayid). You can enroll now on LOST University's official site. On the off-chance that you are not accepted, there's always University of Subway.

Matthew McConaughey is Alllllllright with Animation
Monday, November 30 by

Matthew McConaughey needs to get his core in shape because he's producing an animated series with FOX based on his brother's life. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other, but if you're going to just keep living (Matty's motto), you need a tight core."Rooster Tales" follows the world of a beer-swilling, redneck sheriff who marries a much younger woman from Mexico. The man soon realizes, however, that he's gained not only a wife but an entire clan — 114 members and counting.Here's what McConaughey had to say about it:"My brother's life is so unbelievable, we had to animate it." I got news for you Matthew, if everyone's life that's unbelievable was animated we'd have a sh*tload of Seal cartoons.How did that guy marry Heidi Klum?!(via Variety)

‘Family Guy: Something, Something, Something, Darkside’ Trailer
Tuesday, November 24 by

Having struck merchandising and ratings gold with Blue Harvest, Family Guy is now releasing their Empire Strikes Back parody Something, Something, Something, Darkside. Looks amusing enough. Not sure why Billie Dee Williams isn't involved with this project though. He's done worse. The farce is strong with these links. What Other People are Thinking When You're Traveling (HolyTaco) One Hard Hitting Six-Year-Old (TotalProSports) Girls Flashing the Duckface Pose (TheChive) 'Old Dogs' Publicity Still is a Joke (FilmDrunk) How to be a Pool Hustler (Manofest) Six Worst Movie Sidekicks (Pajiba) Miley Cyrus Fan Eats Pussy Cat (CelebJihad) Facebook in Star Wars Land (Unreality) 9 Signs It's Time to Lock It Down (Asylum) 2009 Hooters Dream Girls Photo Shoot (BustedCoverage) 7 Memorable Tom Cruise Bromances (RegretfulMorning) How to Sail Around the World (MadeMan) Jeff Dunham on NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)

Two Killer ‘Dexter’ Previews
Tuesday, November 24 by

I don't want to ruin last week's episode of Dexter by telling you everyone dies in it, so I'll just say it was the best episode in a stellar season of the show about a domesticated serial killer. Fact: John Lithgow makes everything better. If you're not watching Dexter you need to start RIGHT NOW. Okay…go! Here are a couple clips to settle the monster down inside of you that can't wait until Sunday's new episode. 

‘Shiny Suds’ Commercial Will Make You Uncomfortably Clean
Monday, November 23 by

Shiny Suds Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosWe're obviously used to glistening, happy bubbles cleaning our tubs and sinks, but did you know those bubbles can turn into perverted suds? Next time you step foot in the shower, do it with caution. Click on these links liberably. 5 Things Your Family Will Talk About at Thanksgiving (HolyTaco) Kobe Bryant Makes a Sick Shot (TotalProSports) These Books Actually Exist (TheChive) More Pictures from 'The Hangover' (FilmDrunk) 10 Funniest SNL Commercial Parodies of All Time (SuperTremendous) Twilight the End of Cultural Civilization? (Pajiba) Kelly Clarkson is Seriously Not Fat (CelebJihad) 10 Best Call of Duty 4 Trailer Mashups (Unreality) Grow a Mustache, Get Made Fun Of (Asylum) Katelynn Johnson Knocked Out in Water Bottle Accident (BustedCoverage) Passing a Sobriety Test Unsober (RegretfulMorning) How to Choose Cologne (MadeMan) Vickers Worst Chaser in History (AllLeftTurns) Philly Catfight Brings Out Every Car on the Block (NothingToxic) Dan Levy Presents: Stunt Man (Atom)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt Dances Around Like a Sissy Boy
Monday, November 23 by

First off, what's happening in the above picture? Moving on, this past Saturday Joseph Gordon-Levitt performed "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singin' in the Rain on Saturday Night Live, and while he didn't put the stellar Donald O'Connor to shame, he did complete some awesome wall flips. The kid's got spunk, I'll give 'em that. If you didn't watch Joseph's monologue, take a look below. It's guaranteed to make you possibly chuckle.  (via /Film)

‘Lost’ Final Season Premieres This February
Friday, November 20 by

The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 have finally landed… on a date for the premiere of their sixth season. Exec producer Carlton Cuse announced via the tweets that the show will return to f*cking our minds on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 9PM. No word yet on whether the plot-line will pick up where we last left off or if we'll see a new, alternate time-line in the final season. Regardless of what goes down, I'm sure it will get all mucked up by Sayid when gets tricked or caught in some kind of rope trap. He consistently screws everything up but remains a fan favorite. HOW?! I hate that tanktop-loving dope. (TV Overmind)

Create A ‘Simpsons’ Character Contest Yields A New Character
Thursday, November 19 by

In celebration of the 20th season of The Simpsons, a contest was held to create a new character. The winner of the 25,000+ received entries is 52 year-old Peggy Black of Orange, CT. Her character, Ricardo Bomba (pictured below), is a handsome, smooth-talking, hot-blooded lothario who's set to liquify the town's panties on the January 31st episode."Rrrri-carrr-do Bomba," Black said when describing the character, extravagantly rolling the "R's" in Spanish-language fashion. She then added, "You look mah-velous!!!" Soon after, her spinning bowtie went awry and cut her chin up pretty badly. (Yahoo)

At Home with English – Part 1
Tuesday, November 17 by

This public access show out of Austin, TX was intended as an instructional video for non-English speakers. I speak English and find it confusing. And why is there a drunk man in his house?I link you to these links so you can be linked. 7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (HolyTaco) How To Destroy A National Anthem (TotalProSports) Jackasses Who Shave Their Eyebrows (TheChive) Twilight Fans Love Signs (FilmDrunk) 25 Funniest Kitten Photos (SuperTremendous) Movies about "The Last…" (Pajiba) What if Celebrities Were Fat (CelebJihad) Hooters Dad Goes Bust (Asylum) Sammy Sosa's Face Celebrates Birthday (BustedCoverage) Russian Guy Destroyed by Seesaw (RegretfulMorning) Foods That Slow Aging (MadeMan) Paul Medard, Your Destiny Awaits (AllLeftTurns)

Bob Saget Explores Strange Things for A&E Reality Series
Tuesday, November 17 by

A&E has just shook hands with the Devil and hired Bob Saget to host the show Bob Saget's Strange Days (working title). In the reality series, Saget will travel the country exploring strange American subcultures. Detroit isn't yet on the docket…But everything from mail order brides to a survivalist cult prepping for the end of the world is fair game. There's also mention of visiting a fraternity, which in the scheme of things doesn't seem all that interesting, but you know how Bob likes himself some young ladies. I bet he'll drink those frat boys under the table and then stick it to all their sorority girlfriends. You go, Danny Tanner. You go. (THR)

‘The League’ Actress Nadine Velazquez
Monday, November 16 by

Nadine Velazquez is probably most recognizable for her role as Catalina, the motel maid, on My Name is Earl. Now she plays Sophia on The League, where her character's breasts are too big after just having a child. Buuuuuuh. You can see her fondling them in episode 2. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.  A word from Nadine: "I wake up with stripper boots on sometimes."That probably means you went to bed with stripper boots on… Which means you were probably stripping the night before… I used my powers of deduction to surmise that you dance naked! What club, please? Nadine's got those "stripper eyes" in the pics after the jump.

MTV’s ‘Jersey Shore’ Is The Greatest Thing To Happen To Any Of Us
Thursday, November 12 by

I thought this was a Halloween photo but no one else is dressed up. Fellas, at first you'll be pissed when your girlfriend series records MTV's Jersey Shore on your DVR (which she will undoubtedly do). Don't be. The show is AMAZING. I was lucky enough to catch the first episode and I can say that it has actually improved my life. It gave me the greatest gift of all. The gift of feeling superior to total strangers. Does it feature stereotypes? Sure. Is it trashy? Uh-huh. Are there stained pits? Undoubtedly. Do they have a duck-shaped telephone? They do. It's unintentional comedy at its finest with the punchlines polished an unsettling shade of fake tan. Easily the best show that MTV has ever aired. Tune in December 3rd. Your life will thank you.

It’s About Time James Franco Play an Assassin on ‘General Hospital’
Wednesday, November 11 by

James Franco General Hospital Promo – Watch more Funny VideosJames Franco does what he wants, and he don't give a sh*t about what you think. Star in a superhero movie? Done. Take a hiatus from Hollywood and work on a degree from Columbia University? Done. Be an assassin in a daytime soap opera? DONE. That's right, starting November 20th you can catch James Franco starring in General Hospital as a badass professional killer. The secret to life? Anyone can die at anytime…by the hands of the Franco.Check out these links before Franco ends you. Who Would Survive the Apocalypse (HolyTaco) The Fastest Soccer Goal Ever (TotalProSports) Random Sexy Athletes (TheChive) Faces of 'Old Dogs' (FilmDrunk) 15 Amazing Futuristic City Building Designs (SuperTremendous) Your Cinematic Legacy (Pajiba) Keanu Reeves is Immortal (CelebJihad) 15 Badass Etch A Sketch Drawings (Unreality) Who Should be the Next Victoria's Secret Model? (Asylum) The Green Bay Packers Cheesehead Hulk (BustedCoverage) Rear Naked Choke…with Women (RegretfulMorning) How to Mix a Margarita (MadeMan) A Dog's Thoughts on NASCAR (AllLeftTurns) Cop Shoots Other Cop in the Back (NothingToxic) Star Wars Gangsta Rap (Atom)

Whedon Takes ‘Dollhouse’ Cancellation Like A Champ
Wednesday, November 11 by

Bad news for people who stay in on Friday nights. The FOX mind-wipe melodrama Dollhouse has been put out to pasture. Show creator Joss Whedon commented on his site,"I'm extremely proud of the people I've worked with: my star (Eliza Dushku), my staff, my cast, my crew. I feel the show is getting better pretty much every week, and I think you'll agree in the coming months. I'm grateful that we got to put it on, and then come back and put it on again. You seem cool. Do you want to get coffee sometime? Hey! I know you're just pretending to be distracted by your phone. You're just like all the others!!"FOX plans to air all 13 episodes of the show's second season and give Whedon the chance to go out with a bang.When reached for comment, the Richest Man On Television, Simon Cowell had this to say:Oh, real mature, Simon. Real mature. (THR)

Simon Cowell Is Wealthiest Man On TV
Wednesday, November 11 by

 Forbes reports that Simon Cowell is stacking that cheddar, son. Oh sorry. That wasn't Forbes. That was 4BZ, my rap-loving neighbor. What Forbes actually said is that British grump Simon Cowell is the top-earning man on U.S. television with an estimated income of $75 million dollars last year. WOW.Coming in second place is Donald Trump with an estimated $50 million. Question. Why can't the two wealthiest men on television afford a decent haircut? (THR)