Jane Austen's regency classic Pride and Prejudice got an undead facelift last year with the remixed novelization Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. The book's Twitter feed announced today that the tale is being adapted for the small screen as a six-part miniseries. No word yet on which network it will air, or on casting for that matter. Though I'd like to nominate Kiera Knightley. She's got the experience of playing Elizabeth Bennet and the physique of a zombie. Basically any role in this thing is hers for the taking. (via io9)
A&E launches the single greatest reality series about an aikido champion/actor turned cop this Wednesday with Steven Seagal: Lawman (aka Fat Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans). For those not in the know, Steven Seagal has volunteered with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Department for the past 20 years. This show chronicles his main duties giving martial arts training to the officers as well as assisting with arrests. It's almost just like COPS, the only difference being the perps are arrested by the man on the poster they have framed in their living rooms. Have a look at an earlier preview or check out the brand new, extended preview below. I'm looking forward to the cliffhanger season finale when Seagal's rogue tactics require that he hand over his badge, never ending donut bowl, and gun.
If things didn't pan out so well for you at the local technical college, you may still be in luck. The upcoming Blu-Ray release of LOST: Season Five will include the LOST University feature. Go Polar Bears!For those not well-versed in fictional colleges, LOST University is a Blu-Ray extra that allows you to study subjects pertinent to the LOSTverse such as Physics of Time Travel, History of Hieroglyphics, New Physics with Daniel Faraday, and of course, Jungle Survival (better pay attention Sayid). You can enroll now on LOST University's official site. On the off-chance that you are not accepted, there's always University of Subway.
Matthew McConaughey needs to get his core in shape because he's producing an animated series with FOX based on his brother's life. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other, but if you're going to just keep living (Matty's motto), you need a tight core."Rooster Tales" follows the world of a beer-swilling, redneck sheriff who marries a much younger woman from Mexico. The man soon realizes, however, that he's gained not only a wife but an entire clan — 114 members and counting.Here's what McConaughey had to say about it:"My brother's life is so unbelievable, we had to animate it." I got news for you Matthew, if everyone's life that's unbelievable was animated we'd have a sh*tload of Seal cartoons.How did that guy marry Heidi Klum?!(via Variety)
Having struck merchandising and ratings gold with Blue Harvest, Family Guy is now releasing their Empire Strikes Back parody Something, Something, Something, Darkside. Looks amusing enough. Not sure why Billie Dee Williams isn't involved with this project though. He's done worse. The farce is strong with these links. What Other People are Thinking When You're Traveling (HolyTaco) One Hard Hitting Six-Year-Old (TotalProSports) Girls Flashing the Duckface Pose (TheChive) 'Old Dogs' Publicity Still is a Joke (FilmDrunk) How to be a Pool Hustler (Manofest) Six Worst Movie Sidekicks (Pajiba) Miley Cyrus Fan Eats Pussy Cat (CelebJihad) Facebook in Star Wars Land (Unreality) 9 Signs It's Time to Lock It Down (Asylum) 2009 Hooters Dream Girls Photo Shoot (BustedCoverage) 7 Memorable Tom Cruise Bromances (RegretfulMorning) How to Sail Around the World (MadeMan) Jeff Dunham on NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)
I don't want to ruin last week's episode of Dexter by telling you everyone dies in it, so I'll just say it was the best episode in a stellar season of the show about a domesticated serial killer. Fact: John Lithgow makes everything better. If you're not watching Dexter you need to start RIGHT NOW. Okay…go! Here are a couple clips to settle the monster down inside of you that can't wait until Sunday's new episode.
Shiny Suds Commercial – Watch more Funny VideosWe're obviously used to glistening, happy bubbles cleaning our tubs and sinks, but did you know those bubbles can turn into perverted suds? Next time you step foot in the shower, do it with caution. Click on these links liberably. 5 Things Your Family Will Talk About at Thanksgiving (HolyTaco) Kobe Bryant Makes a Sick Shot (TotalProSports) These Books Actually Exist (TheChive) More Pictures from 'The Hangover' (FilmDrunk) 10 Funniest SNL Commercial Parodies of All Time (SuperTremendous) Twilight the End of Cultural Civilization? (Pajiba) Kelly Clarkson is Seriously Not Fat (CelebJihad) 10 Best Call of Duty 4 Trailer Mashups (Unreality) Grow a Mustache, Get Made Fun Of (Asylum) Katelynn Johnson Knocked Out in Water Bottle Accident (BustedCoverage) Passing a Sobriety Test Unsober (RegretfulMorning) How to Choose Cologne (MadeMan) Vickers Worst Chaser in History (AllLeftTurns) Philly Catfight Brings Out Every Car on the Block (NothingToxic) Dan Levy Presents: Stunt Man (Atom)
First off, what's happening in the above picture? Moving on, this past Saturday Joseph Gordon-Levitt performed "Make 'Em Laugh" from Singin' in the Rain on Saturday Night Live, and while he didn't put the stellar Donald O'Connor to shame, he did complete some awesome wall flips. The kid's got spunk, I'll give 'em that. If you didn't watch Joseph's monologue, take a look below. It's guaranteed to make you possibly chuckle. (via /Film)
The survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 have finally landed… on a date for the premiere of their sixth season. Exec producer Carlton Cuse announced via the tweets that the show will return to f*cking our minds on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 9PM. No word yet on whether the plot-line will pick up where we last left off or if we'll see a new, alternate time-line in the final season. Regardless of what goes down, I'm sure it will get all mucked up by Sayid when gets tricked or caught in some kind of rope trap. He consistently screws everything up but remains a fan favorite. HOW?! I hate that tanktop-loving dope. (TV Overmind)
In celebration of the 20th season of The Simpsons, a contest was held to create a new character. The winner of the 25,000+ received entries is 52 year-old Peggy Black of Orange, CT. Her character, Ricardo Bomba (pictured below), is a handsome, smooth-talking, hot-blooded lothario who's set to liquify the town's panties on the January 31st episode."Rrrri-carrr-do Bomba," Black said when describing the character, extravagantly rolling the "R's" in Spanish-language fashion. She then added, "You look mah-velous!!!" Soon after, her spinning bowtie went awry and cut her chin up pretty badly. (Yahoo)
This public access show out of Austin, TX was intended as an instructional video for non-English speakers. I speak English and find it confusing. And why is there a drunk man in his house?I link you to these links so you can be linked. 7 Untelevised Football Sideline Moments (HolyTaco) How To Destroy A National Anthem (TotalProSports) Jackasses Who Shave Their Eyebrows (TheChive) Twilight Fans Love Signs (FilmDrunk) 25 Funniest Kitten Photos (SuperTremendous) Movies about "The Last…" (Pajiba) What if Celebrities Were Fat (CelebJihad) Hooters Dad Goes Bust (Asylum) Sammy Sosa's Face Celebrates Birthday (BustedCoverage) Russian Guy Destroyed by Seesaw (RegretfulMorning) Foods That Slow Aging (MadeMan) Paul Medard, Your Destiny Awaits (AllLeftTurns)
A&E has just shook hands with the Devil and hired Bob Saget to host the show Bob Saget's Strange Days (working title). In the reality series, Saget will travel the country exploring strange American subcultures. Detroit isn't yet on the docket…But everything from mail order brides to a survivalist cult prepping for the end of the world is fair game. There's also mention of visiting a fraternity, which in the scheme of things doesn't seem all that interesting, but you know how Bob likes himself some young ladies. I bet he'll drink those frat boys under the table and then stick it to all their sorority girlfriends. You go, Danny Tanner. You go. (THR)
Nadine Velazquez is probably most recognizable for her role as Catalina, the motel maid, on My Name is Earl. Now she plays Sophia on The League, where her character's breasts are too big after just having a child. Buuuuuuh. You can see her fondling them in episode 2. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. A word from Nadine: "I wake up with stripper boots on sometimes."That probably means you went to bed with stripper boots on… Which means you were probably stripping the night before… I used my powers of deduction to surmise that you dance naked! What club, please? Nadine's got those "stripper eyes" in the pics after the jump.
I thought this was a Halloween photo but no one else is dressed up. Fellas, at first you'll be pissed when your girlfriend series records MTV's Jersey Shore on your DVR (which she will undoubtedly do). Don't be. The show is AMAZING. I was lucky enough to catch the first episode and I can say that it has actually improved my life. It gave me the greatest gift of all. The gift of feeling superior to total strangers. Does it feature stereotypes? Sure. Is it trashy? Uh-huh. Are there stained pits? Undoubtedly. Do they have a duck-shaped telephone? They do. It's unintentional comedy at its finest with the punchlines polished an unsettling shade of fake tan. Easily the best show that MTV has ever aired. Tune in December 3rd. Your life will thank you.
James Franco General Hospital Promo – Watch more Funny VideosJames Franco does what he wants, and he don't give a sh*t about what you think. Star in a superhero movie? Done. Take a hiatus from Hollywood and work on a degree from Columbia University? Done. Be an assassin in a daytime soap opera? DONE. That's right, starting November 20th you can catch James Franco starring in General Hospital as a badass professional killer. The secret to life? Anyone can die at anytime…by the hands of the Franco.Check out these links before Franco ends you. Who Would Survive the Apocalypse (HolyTaco) The Fastest Soccer Goal Ever (TotalProSports) Random Sexy Athletes (TheChive) Faces of 'Old Dogs' (FilmDrunk) 15 Amazing Futuristic City Building Designs (SuperTremendous) Your Cinematic Legacy (Pajiba) Keanu Reeves is Immortal (CelebJihad) 15 Badass Etch A Sketch Drawings (Unreality) Who Should be the Next Victoria's Secret Model? (Asylum) The Green Bay Packers Cheesehead Hulk (BustedCoverage) Rear Naked Choke…with Women (RegretfulMorning) How to Mix a Margarita (MadeMan) A Dog's Thoughts on NASCAR (AllLeftTurns) Cop Shoots Other Cop in the Back (NothingToxic) Star Wars Gangsta Rap (Atom)
Bad news for people who stay in on Friday nights. The FOX mind-wipe melodrama Dollhouse has been put out to pasture. Show creator Joss Whedon commented on his site,"I'm extremely proud of the people I've worked with: my star (Eliza Dushku), my staff, my cast, my crew. I feel the show is getting better pretty much every week, and I think you'll agree in the coming months. I'm grateful that we got to put it on, and then come back and put it on again. You seem cool. Do you want to get coffee sometime? Hey! I know you're just pretending to be distracted by your phone. You're just like all the others!!"FOX plans to air all 13 episodes of the show's second season and give Whedon the chance to go out with a bang.When reached for comment, the Richest Man On Television, Simon Cowell had this to say:Oh, real mature, Simon. Real mature. (THR)
Forbes reports that Simon Cowell is stacking that cheddar, son. Oh sorry. That wasn't Forbes. That was 4BZ, my rap-loving neighbor. What Forbes actually said is that British grump Simon Cowell is the top-earning man on U.S. television with an estimated income of $75 million dollars last year. WOW.Coming in second place is Donald Trump with an estimated $50 million. Question. Why can't the two wealthiest men on television afford a decent haircut? (THR)
(Photo credit: Patrick Schumacker)The Twitter phenom Sh*t My Dad Says is making the leap from the very small screen to the slightly larger screen. The uproarious tweets that relay the musings of a 73 year-old San Diego man have spawned a book deal and now a script commitment with CBS in the four months since its creation by ex-Holy Taco writer Justin Halpern. Halpern will be handling the writing duties along with former Screen Junkies writer Patrick Schumacker as they are supervised by Will & Grace creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick.Today is a happy day here at Screen Junkies as two of our own leave the nest to enter a career where pants-wearing is an expectation. Patrick and Justin, keep an eye on the mail as I have sent each of you a copy of Dr. Seuss's "Oh, The Places You'll Go!"With my headshot tucked between the pages of course. (THR)
It's so great when celebrities act silly overseas for money. In the above commercial for Nespresso, George Clooney walks out of a shop and gets a piano dropped on his head by an off-screen Road Runner. He then travels to heaven and–wait, John Malkovich is dead?!Enjoy these links with a nice cup of coffee. Best Football Celebration Dances Ever (HolyTaco) Fight Breaks Out During High School Girls Soccer (TotalProSports) Ship Made from World Trade Center Steel (TheChive) Coolio Replaces DMX in MMA Fight (FilmDrunk) 15 Worst Bootleg DVD Covers of All Time (SuperTremendous) Top 8 Werewolf Movies of the Last 30 Years (Pajiba) Jessica Alba Gets a Spankin' (CelebJihad) There's a Calvin in All of Us (Unreality) Guys Don't Find Skinny Women Attractive (Asylum) Will Jenn Sterger eBay Her Breast Implants? (BustedCoverage) What Does Your Bar Tab Say About You? (RegretfulMorning) You're Dating a Gold Digger (MadeMan) Earnhardt Losing Streak Reaches 55 (AllLeftTurns) Women Freaks Out On Live TV (NothingToxic) Intercourse with a Vampire (Atom)
J.J. Abrams is getting back in the saddle to direct the pilot for his television project Undercovers over at NBC. Not since the jaw dropping pilot for LOST has Abrams taken a seat behind a camera that's in front of a set constructed specifically for a small screen airing. The top brass is being very ellusive on the plot of the show, only saying that it's a mix between Mr. & Mrs. Smith and The Bourne Identity. Hmmmm, two spy movies? When you take two things that are pretty much the same thing it's not really a mix. That's like blending katsup and marinara, cutting it with tap water and calling it reimagined buttered noodles topping. Or in my household: dinner. [THR]
Leslie Bibb plays a b*tch well. She played a stuck up high school b*tch in Popular, an overbearing NASCAR b*tch in Talladega Nights, and now she's playing an emasculating wife b*tch in The League on FX tonight. I'm not saying she's typecast, I'm just saying she knows how to make a man thank the heavens that he's single. Oh wait, she's hot. Nevermind all that.A word from Leslie: "Jesus did grow up."Yes, into a fine young man, Leslie. That's what happens when you drink your milk.See why white gold does a body good after the jump.
You may have noticed Big Bird's junk on Google today and thought to yourself, "What in blue blazes?!! I'm writing a letter!" Well, put down that pen, nerd. Big Bird's balls are all over Google because it's his 40th birthday and he has friends in high places. Hard to believe that Big Bird is now officially middle-aged. Then again I'm not really sure what the life expectancy is for a gigantic, ambiguously gay, yellow songbird. So…. Happy Birthday you big freak! (Associated Content) Have a piece of birdseed cake and check out these links… Hot Chicks Love the Top Gun Song (HolyTaco) Tim Tebow Makes For Quite the Halloween Costume (TotalProSports) The Amazing Mambo Dancing Dog (SuperTremendous) Avatar Crew Can't Stop Congratulating Itself (FilmDrunk) The Voices in Steve Guttenberg's Head (Pajiba) Michael Jackson Pees for Children (CelebJihad) How to Make a Convincing Chewbacca Noise (Unreality) Halloween at the White House (Asylum) Stacy Keibler Back to Selling "Used" Bikinis (BustedCoverage) Reunited with Dad (RegretfulMorning) iPhone Owners Make Bad Girlfriends (MadeMan) Danica NASCAR Deal Close (AllLeftTurns) Phillies and Yankees Fans Fight (NothingToxic) Hot Bawls Gets You Amped (Atom)
This morning Variety reports that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will be double-teaming the 82nd Academy Awards. Oscar co-producers Bill Mechanic and Adam Shankman didn't waste much time in snagging the duo as we told you yesterday that Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. had turned down the offer to co-host. Martin has the experience of both hosting and having had worked with Shankman in the past on Bringing Down the House. Sounds like two pretty solid hosts but oh, how we do wish that Baldwin were splitting hosting duties with Tracy Morgan.BALDWIN: "Are you excited to be here tonight, Tracy?"MORGAN: "I'm gonna get Oscar pregnant!"BALDWIN: "Ha ha. Now Tracy, stick to the script."MORGAN: "Sure thing, Alec B.. (long pause) I wanna break Helen Mirren's water!!"
Grab your bowl of sugar cereal and pop a squat in front of the computer! Jaroo.com launches today and you can watch all kinds of cartoons on it! According to The Hollywood Reporter: Jaroo launches with 50 TV series and 500 episodes, though it is digitizing its library of 6,000 episodes to ensure fairly rapid growth, said Ken Locker, senior vp digital media. Like Hulu, the Web site features TV shows that can be watched for free. Each 22-minute episode contains up to 90 seconds of commercials that cannot be skipped. But unlike Hulu, Jaroo content, including the commercials, is aimed at kids ages 4-12.4-12 my ass. I think we all know that cartoons transcend age brackets. Especially Inspector Gadget. We here at Screen Junkies were just reminiscing about how waiting for the next episode of Gadget was a true test on our childhood patience. And now all you gotta do is click a button and blond, pigtailed Penny can be yours whenever you desire. Oh Penny, how you stirred up emotions inside of us that we wouldn't understand until many years later…
If you'd like to know absolutely nothing about what's happening on the next and final season of LOST then watch the teaser trailer below. It'll give you so much of nothing that you'll be begging for more nothing. According to E! Online: I’m hearing from Lost sources that every single shot of the first few episodes are so revealing that the producers have convinced ABC to NOT SHOW A SINGLE FRAME before the new season airs. No promo scenes, no photos, no nada! So you will be completely in the dark, but it is for good reason: The twists they’re planning are so good, you will WANT to be surprised. Trust me. Your mind gonna go kaplewey. Alright, if the lack of information and footage is because they're readying a twist that's going to turn my world inside out than I'll wait semi-patiently. But if Jenna from 30 Rock from last night has the inside scoop, than apparently the whole thing is Hurley's dream. Watch the teaser after the jump.
You may better know Tiffani Thiessen as Kelly Kapowski, Zack Morris' Polish, frizzy-haired main squeeze on Saved By The Bell, that is until that slut Stacey Carosi came into the picture. Well now she's all grown up, taking sexy photographs to break free from her innocent image, and starring in White Collar, a fantastic new drama on USA. Seriously, watch it. For Tiffani and for your entertainment.A word from Tiffani: "I learned how to smoke from Mark-Paul Gosselaar on Saved by the Bell. He's the one who taught me, and we smoked together"Tisk, tisk, Zack Morris. How did you expect Tiffani to resist your charm and stonewashed jeans when you peer pressured her into smoking with you? You'd think someone who narrated their life to an outside audience would know better.Come on, just try the pics after the jump, they won't hurt you, we promise.
A blast from the past! A middle school fascination. A reason to "borrow" periodicals from the local Walgreens. Kathy Ireland used to be the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition it girl, and now she dances the mambo on television for charity dollars. Let's hope that money goes to the kids whose fingers bleed as they sew together the items in the Kathy Ireland Worldwide Catalogue.A word from Kathy: "At the moment of conception, life starts."I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole…Here are some Pro-Licious pics after the jump!
Last night on his late night show, Jimmy Fallon welcomed famed WWF wrestler Hulk Hogan and pop song parody master Weird Al Yankovic. As proof we're not lying, watch Weird Al sing his classic Good Old Days:
The hit British paranormal dramedy Being Human has been picked up for a second season by BBC One. In addition, Syfy has picked up the project and plans to create an American version. For those unfamiliar with the series it tells the story of three twentysomething roommates — one a werewolf, one a vampire, and the third a ghost — and finds out what happens when they stop being polite and start getting real.No writer has been attached but Syfy prez David Howe stressed that Syfy does not intend to "slavishly replicate the British version." Which is showbiz-speak for "We're making a supernatural version of Big Bang Theory." (THR)
HBO's True Blood is prepping for its third season and it seems that creator Alan Ball is looking to bring some more batsh*t characters to Bon Temps. Michael Aussiello at EW posted the official show casting notice. Sorry fellas, looks like next season is going to be an undead sausage party. Check out a rundown of the cast-to-be: Tommy Mickens – Sam's long-lost brotherTalbot – a sarcastic vampire named after a shoe storeJesus Valasquez – "an unordinary orderly with a heart to match his good looks"Franklin Mott – a vampire that befriends TaraCoot – leader of the rednecksJen and Missy – two college girls looking to partyYvetta – a Czech stripper with designs on EricReverand Daniels – a holy man who is going to bang the crazy out of Tara's mom We'd like to make a suggestion for the casting of unordinary orderly Jesus Valasquez: Dun dun duuuuuuuuuunh!