Last week on "True Blood," Tara got abducted by Franklin and he brought her to the King of Mississippi. Sookie and Alcide went to a werewolf party where they found out the King is giving the asshole werewolves his blood. Bill joined the King, broke up with Sookie, and then ate a stripper with the King and his ex, Lorena. The Magister found Eric's V operation and Eric blamed it on Bill. Sam gave his family a place to live and his brother a job. Jason blackmailed Andy into making him a cop. That's basically the important stuff. This week I'm changing things up a bit so I don't have to constantly shift back-and-forth between plot lines. I'll do them in solid chunks, so realize that the recap that follows isn't necessarily the chronology of the episode. RECAP AFTER THE JUMP…
Missy Peregrym is one of those TV exclusive babes with her work ranging from "The Chris Issac Show," the underappreciated "Reaper," and now ABC's Canadian import "Rookie Blue." A Canadian native herself, like many recent friendly neighbors to the North actresses, she can be sexy but also kick your ass.A word from Missy: "Soccer can be incredibly aggressive, that’s one of the reasons I like it so much."You'd be surprised how intense a game of badminton can get. I've dirtied my knees on several occasions.More pics of Canuck Missy after the jump.
Tobias is joining Gob on the new Mitch Hurwitz-created sitcom, "Running Wilde." It's as close to an "Arrested Development" reunion as we're going to get for awhile, or maybe ever. According to TV Guide, David Cross will appear on the show's first seven episodes:'Wilde' centers on the budding relationship between Steve Wilde (Arnett), a spoiled and selfish man-child and son of an oil tycoon, and Emily Kabdubic (Keri Russell) an environmental activist and Steve's old high school flame. Cross will play Andy, Emily's fiancé, a radical environmentalist and Wilde's rival for Emily's affections. The comedian takes over the role from Andrew Daly, who played the part in the show's original pilot.Looks like we all now have a new sitcom to watch this fall. Only time will tell if it will be as genius as "Arrested," a tall order to say the least, or if it will even remain on air after its initial 13 episode order. "Running Wilde's" success depends solely on the people sitting in their recliners as the warm glow of Mark Harmon on "NCIS" softly lules them to sleep.Catch the premiere of "Running Wilde" Tuesday, September 21 at 9:30PM on FOX. (TVSquad)
Back to work, you rebel rousing scum.Yes, the Deepwater Horizon rig may finally be capped, but another oily disaster is now unfolding. The cast of Jersey Shore is threatening to strike.TMZ is reporting that cast members are so disappointed with their season 3 contracts that they are refusing to shoot, as they feel they can making more money "doing appearances" than filming the series.You know, back in the late 1800's, when a bunch of upstart "guidos" would try to unionize, the employer would hire some union busting thugs to go in and smash some heads. If MTV followed suit and made an example of The Situation by breaking his jaw in several places, I think the rest of the cast would fall in to line posthaste.
Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia Autotuned – Watch more Funny VideosBy far one of the best uses of autotune technology to date. FX always puts together some terrific promos for "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," often looking to viral videos for inspiration, whick often look to T-Pain for inspiration. Can we please get a full length version of autotuned "The Nightman" on iTunes as soon as possible?"Always Sunny" returns to FX Thursday, September 16 at 10PM. (HitFix)
"We can't live at a crowded water park, Waldo!"
You crazy for this one, Roger Corman! Sharktopus is a good film. An important film. It warns us of the dangers of creating the perfect killing machine and then being ignorant enough to think we can harness its awesome might. In a world of Mega-Pirahnas and Gateroids and Supercrocs and big-ass pythons, you'd think we'd learn that lesson by now. But obviously we have not, and Roger Corman and Syfy are here with the chilling reminder that if you mess with the shark-octopus hybrid monster, you get the spike-tipped tentacle. I don't know what amazes me more, the fact that the special effects look as good as they do, or the things that Eric Roberts will do for cocaine. I mean, money. For cocaine. WATCH THE TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP. TRUST ME, IT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT.
We all know Kiele Sanchez from the infamous third season of "LOST," and now we find her hot tanned body wadding through the Florida everglades in A&E's new cop drama "The Glades." While she mainly uses her luscious talents on the small screen, check out her physical prowess in the under appreached The Perfect Getaway, where she goes mano-a-mano with tough babe Milla Jovovich.A word from Kiele: "Don't look at me like that."Like what? More pics of Kiele's tan torso after the jump.
We've got a lot of picture news for you this morning so you don't have to process words. Here's a group snapshot of the cast from AMC's The Walking Dead. If that isn't a ragtag crew of zombie ass-kickers, than I don't know what is. The little boy looks confused, but maybe some zombie taped a clever sign to Rick Grimes's back. They're natural pranksters.Here's an image from The Walking Dead graphic novel:Looks similar, right? Zombies and people. What more do you want?! The cast pic comes from the invite to the Comic-Con The Walking Dead party that I failed to receive. I'm sure it's in the mail though. You know how the mail is sometimes… **Wipes single tear from clown-make-uped cheek** (io9)
"Community" is a hilarious show, and you should be watching more of it. Don't believe me? Then perhaps you'll listen to Mrs. Betty White. That's what NBC is hoping. White, a six-time Emmy winner and all around tough-as-nails bitch, will appear on the upcoming season premiere of the NBC comedy. She will play the character of June Bauer, described as "an esteemed, but slightly unhinged anthropology professor." The producers approached White because she is in the midst of a late-career renaissance fueled primarily by her popularity on the Internet. Other guest stars slated to appear include LOL Cats, Bacon, and Epic Beard Man. (HitFix)
Piper Perabo is back from the wet t-shirt bars of Coyote Ugly to give us the new CIA plot twister USA series, "Covert Affairs." The show looks like "Burn Notice" but with a chick as the main character and minus Bruce Campbell. The last time we saw Piper, she drowned in Hugh Jackman's tank in The Prestige. Here's hoping her new character is craftier.A word from Piper: "It takes a lot of guts to get up on top of a bar and dance."A lot of guts, indeed. Or a lot of alcohol. More pics of Piper's pouty lips after the jump…
CBS's high-octane rebirth of "Hawaii 5-0" is looking pretty okay. The action looks far superior to anything on "CSI," the humor doesn't seem nearly as forced (or delivered via a quirky goth) as on "NCIS," and the camera isn't sent on an unnecessary voyage through the bloodstream at all from what I can tell. I could do without Scott Caan's channeling of Michael Rapaport though, but beggars can't be choosers. Could this spell the end of the procedural? We won't know for sure until a year or two from now, when CBS decides whether they will greenlight "Hawaii 5-0: Arizona" or not. CHECK OUT THE EXTENDED TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP. THERE ARE EXPLODING HELICOPTERS….
Dexter Morgan is an unstoppable killing machine. And what better way to fight an unstoppable killing machine than with America's favorite insatiable law-and-order cyborg? No, not Vincent D'Onofrio.Peter Weller, the star of the classic 80's sci-fi film Robocop has joined the cast of "Dexter: Season 5." According to Dread Central, he will appear in eight episodes, and will play a "troubled" Miami Metro police officer, as if there's any other kind.While there's no mention of the character of Robocop, I'd be surprised if they didn't use him in some capacity. The show never came right out and said that John Lithgow was supposed to be the character of Dr. Dick Solomon from "3rd Rock from the Sun." But once he dropped the C-Bomb at Thanksgiving dinner, everyone knew it was him.
What? No snarky Goth?? They may have reneged on "Weird Al" but it looks like The Cartoon Network is still very much in the spoof business. Last night, during an episode of "Children's Hospital," a preview of the upcoming action series "National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sports Utility Vehicle." Or "NTSF: SD: SUV" for short(er). The action series stars Paul Scheer as a Jack Bauer/David Caruso hybrid, and Rob Riggle as a general/terrorist or something. I think what we should all focus on here is the fact that the team employs a rocket launcher-touting chef. Not enough shows have that. Check out the preview after the jump….
Two weeks ago on "True Blood": Another body showed up, head missing. Sookie went to a werewolf bar with a cool werewolf (Alcide). Bill agreed to help the King of Mississippi screw over the Queen of Louisiana. Sam's redneck family got plastered on chick drinks at his bar. Jason contemplated a career in law enforcement. Tara f*cked the mysterious new vampire in town (Frank). Frank blackmailed Jess. Sam's brother tried to rob him. Bill mutilated Lorena's body while he fucked her in some weird-ass kinky vampire sex. This week starts with Sookie cleaning Alcide's wounds. He whines. She flirts. Bill calls. He's like, "Sookah, I can no longah handle the gap in your teeth. We’re through." Lorena is smirking in the background, so unfortunately she survived Bill's hate f*ck.MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
The other day I had the opportunity to speak with comedian and actor JB Smoove about his current and upcoming projects, his unique approach to stand-up comedy, and a way…
HBO's Martin Scorsese-produced, Terence Winter-created Steve Buscemi as a bad ass gangsta Prohibition drama series will debut Sunday, September 19 at 9PM. Buscemi plays "the undisputed ruler of Atlantic City and town Treasurer, Enoch “Nucky” Thompson, who is described as “a political fixer and backroom dealer who is equal parts politician and gangster and equally comfortable in either role." Check out the trailer here. I've already set a series recording on my DVR.
Alanna Ubach has played many comedic parts over the years from raunchy waitress in Waiting… to ditzy best friend of Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. These days she shows off her surprisingly toned body on HBO's "Hung" where she plays neighbor with Thomas Jane and his well-endowed gift. Look for her next year putting her vocal talents to good use with Johnny Depp in the digital animated Rango. A word from Alanna: "When I get a role, I try to delve as deeply as possible into the character. I act with my gut instincts." A modern day Brando, everyone. Maybe one day she'll go crazy too.More pics of neighbor Alanna after the jump.
What a sicko.Between "True Blood," "Six Feet Under," and that time he suffocated a hobo, it's obvious that Alan Ball has a fascination with death. But don't take my word for it:“Obviously death is a theme I’m fascinated by.”Thanks Alan. His attraction to blood on the outside of bodies is ruling his work once more with the news that HBO has greenlighted his pilot "All Signs Of Death." Based on the novel The Mystic Arts of Erasing All Signs of Death by Ball's homie Charlie Huston, "Death" tells the story of a slacker crime scene cleaner who becomes embroiled in the underbelly of L.A.. You know what that means: murder, dangerous women, and strip malls that don't house five-star restaurants. I know, so sleazy.
Ashley Benson may be currently limited to the small screen, but her growing hotness knows no bounds. Coming from the Long Beach area of California, the former daytime soap actress has recently found success with "Pretty Little Liars," being coined the prepubescent "Desperate Housewives."A word from Ashley: "I like to keep my beauty very simple because you don't need to go out and buy that $6,000 dress."That's right. You steal it.More pics of Ashley the liar after the jump.
The 62nd Primetime Emmy Award Nominations were announced this morning with "Glee" leading the pack with 19 noms, and Sofia Vergara presenting the nominees with heaving bosoms. Emmy is obviously with Coco, as O'Brien's "Tonight Show" was nominated while Leno's was not. Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton were justly recognized for their work on "Friday Night Lights" but will have stiff competition going up against "Breaking Bad's" Bryan Cranston and "The Good Wife's" Julianna Margulies.Notable snubs are Ed O'Neill, "Community," and Charlie Sheen for his work on "Two And A Half Men." That man has done so much for comedy and sports car driven into ravine removal, and deserves so much more. Oh, so much more.LIST OF NON-BORING NOMINEES AFTER THE JUMP…
Good news. It looks like the monkeyslaps at MTV will show music videos again. Of course, they will be packaged with commentary from Beavis and Butthead. The deals aren't in place yet, but Mike Judge is planning on bringing the buttmunches out of retirement for a new set of 30 adventures. If picked up, the show will stick to its former format of sketch-videos-sketch with the focus being on more contemporary artists. In other words, there will be heated debate on who has the bigger schlong, Beavis or Lady Gaga. Smart money's on Gaga. (JoBlo)
Autumn Reeser, the "Entourage" agent babe Lizzy Grant, has been a go to girl for TV and direct to DVD movies. Having shown up in The Lost Boys: The Tribe and Smokin Aces 2 : Assassin's Ball, she has added a much needed sexy kick to what would be standard cash-milking sequels. Your girlfriend probably recognizes Autumn from "The O.C." and secretly hates her. A word from Autumn: "I liked being a player in high school but I definitely was not a bitch."Girls as hot as Autumn deserve the right to chip away at our self-esteem. In fact, it's an honor.More pics of my favorite season (RIMSHOT!) after the jump.
"Reno 911" stars Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant took the time to sit down and review the porn parody of their popular Comedy Central show. Their ultimate conclusion is there's a lot more stuff in the XXX version that you can masturbate to. I hadn't ever seen the "Reno 911" porn before, so I was surprised at how well Sexy Dangle impersonates (Not Sexy?) Dangle. It's like he's really trying, which is both commendable and sad. Maybe the day will come when not all of his sketches end in a c*m shot. Check out the video review after the jump.
Rhona Mitra is the girl to revive the Tomb Raider franchise for three reasons: She is British, she is a real actress unlike rumored Kim Kardashian, and she is a total bad ass babe with a gun as we've seen in Doomsday and Underworld 3. But in the meantime while studio execs ponder her boner appeal (think Hollow Man) catch her in the summer series "The Gates" on ABC, yet another show about vampires.A word from Rhona: "I never know if I want to be running across the fields with no clothes on or sitting in the pub drinking Guinness."Either way, you sound like an alcoholic. More pics of Rhona with little clothes on after the jump.
I'm not even trying anymore.Today in Cuckoo Bananas News comes word that Javier Bardem will guest star on the next season of "Glee," and apparantly it was his idea. Bardem pitched the idea to Ryan Murphy, show creator and sex-banner, while working together on the set of Eat Pray Love. He explained to Entertainment Weekly in a gravelly, seductive voice that heretofore has only existed within the lust-soaked pages of Harlequin novels:“We’re going to rock the house,” enthuses Bardem, who became an unabashed Gleek after watching the entire first season in one week. “We’re going to do some heavy metal — Spanish heavy metal, which is the worst.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, Javier. DO NOT insult the work of Brujeria. You have no idea the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that went into making "The Mexicutioner." Granted, most of it was from groupies but still….
Madame Tussauds revealed the fake Kim Kardashian to the fake Kim Kardashian. It's extremely difficult to differentiate between the two. The one with a pulse has boobs that hang more naturally (even though they're not natural). It would make more sense to spin both girls around and compare asses. If Madame Tussauds mastered Kim's badunkadunk then I'd give my seal of approval. What do you guys think? Would you defile the wax one?More pics of fake Kim and Kim after the jump…
They're in Miami, bitch. The east coast was cold, making it impossible to cop a sweet tan, so MTV crated up the cast of "Jersey Shore" and shipped them to Miami for Season 2 of the decline of totally juiced western civilization. As you can probably guess, there's more drinking, scratching, narcissim, and unintelligible negative comments toward ego-threatening houseguests, all with a built in fish out of water hook. Cocaine sales in South Beach are about to skyrocket. Check out the teaser after the jump…
The Old Spice Guy Isaiah Mustafa is back in a brand new Old Spice commercial. This concept is still hilarious, and I enjoy his failed attempt at a swan dive. Though it's not head first, it somehow appears even more graceful. Soak up these 30 seconds of genius while you can, before Isaiah becomes NBC and Tyler Perry's bitch. (Vulture)
Imagine a world where you can have every episode of "Bones" at the tip of your fingers at all times. Are we mature enough as a society to handle that kind of power? Hulu thinks so. Today the television streaming service announced a new premium service, where for a mere $10 a month you will be given access to full current seasons of "Happy Town," "Trauma," "FlashForward," "Tonight Show With Jay Leno," and "Mercy" to name a few. You'll also be able to view the complete series of shows like "Roswell" and "Samantha Who?"And just to sweeten the pot, the content will include commercials and be available to view on your tiny ass iPhone screens. O, to the future my friends! In all its eye-strainy and time-wastey glory!! (Hulu Plus)