We're a TV site, but we don't really cover network news. There are just too many opportunities to skewer the constant flow of absurdity– the unending waterfalls of crap would just distract us from the other duties of Screenjunkies. But I just could not resist this amazing front page story that showed up on CNN this morning: Really? There's no good way to tell a kid they have cancer? I'd imagine there are some ways that are worse than others, such as: – Billy, you have cancer, and it's because you masturbate too much. – Billy, you have cancer and that's why mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. – Billy, you have cancer. Also, there is no Santa Claus. – Billy, isn't this roller coaster fun? Well enjoy it now because in three months you'll be so weak from 3 rounds of chemo you wont be able to lift an X-Box controller. As always CNN, thanks for the hard hitting news. Now lets all watch this video. Wait till they spray the associate producer with cologne. Listen for his name.
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Thursdays are basically stay at home and watch TV nights. Without even having to move a muscle you have an hour and a half of solid comedy gold. Here’s a quick breakdown.
Welcome to a new column where we let our many entertainment aficionado readers sound off on matters of immense import. This week’s rant comes from Brendon in Seattle, WA. With the news this morning that a previously popular television show will be losing some of its top production talent due to poor ratings, I believe you will find this opinion piece to be both timely and impassioned. Without further adieu, I give you “In Defense of Heroes.”
Times are tough. Luckily the Juggernaut that is Screenjunkies has remained relatively unaffected. You might have noticed some interruption in content lately like missing movie reviews and TV recaps. This was due in most part to a move from our old headquarters in Dubai to our new offices just outside of Missoula, Montana.
The hardest thing about filmmaking is accurately communicating the strange things in your head that seem important. This is the reason that Spike Jonez is basically my hero. He comes up with abstract, high-concept ideas and manages to turn them into amazing finished products. Here's some videos of a few of his previous works.
It's easy to appreciate the Tricia Helfers and Hayden Panettieres currently strolling across our TV screens, making us disappointed with the caliber of girls that are actually willing to spend time with us.
The Onion, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert are funny because they have come from comedy. The writers and producers have a comedic background, and have made careers out of intelligent humor. When you try to do funny news in the other direction—by starting with news and letting news people run the show—it’s always a disaster. Now we have a new one, from D.L. Hughley and CNN.
South Park is back for the second part of season 12 and it has reminded me of how much I love hating Eric Cartman. That little boy has done some truly messed up stuff and this is some of the worst. Or should I say best? Whatever. 9. Molesting Butters
We only have so many eyeballs, which means we need a little help covering every little thing that happens on TV. We're looking for aspiring writers, or at least people who speak English, to write some episode recaps for us. You'll get a byline and everything. If you want in, send a sample recap of the latest episode of your favorite TV show to FeedbackATscreenjunkies.com.
The Vatican has planned a 139-hour bible reading marathon on Italian TV in hopes of making the church more cool. They are calling it “a sort of ‘Big Brother’ of the Holy Scriptures, but with really high cultural value.” Wow.
I guess all of that Simpsons money should be more than enough to buy Ralph Wiggum a nice Bimmer, but he doesn't have to flaunt it like that. Cartoon characters are real, right? I hope so. Otherwise all of that stock I bought in the Planet Express delivery company isn't going to be worth much. But then again, I guess no stock is worth much right now. Take that economy!
If I had to pick a character from the DC universe to get his or her own TV show, Robin would probably have been somehwere near the bottom of the list near Hawkman, but The Graysons, which tells the story of the Boy Wonder before he falls in with Batman has apparently gotten the green light by the CW. Here's hoping it's not another Birds of Prey. Yikes.
As weird and conservative as politics get in the US of A, we usually don’t have the Pat Robertsons and Jerry Falwells (R.I.P.) calling for the death of TV executives and show presenters over ‘immoral’ content. Saudi Arabia is a tad different.
With 20 seasons and a successful movie under their belts, the next logical expansion of the Simpsons empire would be a spin-off. If it's going to happen, here's a list of characters that would be perfect in the spotlight, plus a few that would totally suck. 13. Kent Brockman
Unless you were a big Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, this might not sound like big news. But, you should consider the fact that her new show, which is going to be called The Wonderful Maladys is going to be on HBO…a channel that shows boobs.
Looks like Kanye has stopped smashing cameras at LAX long enough to develop a show for Comedy Central. They concept? Hip hop meets the Muppets. Sweet.
With the return of Heroes on Monday, I have heard a bunch of people talking about which power from the show they would want for themselves. But there are a few abilities that never get any love, mainly because they would be useless in the real world. These are the seven powers I wouldn't bother putting on tights for. 7. Mass Poisoning
Days are getting shorter and temperatures are getting colder, which means staying in and watching TV is even more appealing. Plus, everyone is broke, but luckily, you have the series premiere of Worst Week and three hours of Heroes to keep you busy tonight. Read on for our previews of both. Worst Week
No one expects you to actually watch the Emmy Awards Show. I have an unnatural relationship with TV and I can barely make it through them without falling asleep. But, that doesn't mean we can't criticize their choices from the comfort of our office chairs the morning after they happen.
Tonight is the season four finale of Weeds and I am extremely excited. This has been the best season in a while and reports are that Mary Louise Parker gets more naked than ever tonight. 10 PM can't come soon enough.
You've all laughed hysterically at the Peanuts vs. Goodfellas mash-up, but according to an interview with executive producer, Al Jean, this year's Simpsons Halloween show will poke fun at The Great Pumpkin as well as the Transformers.
I remember in English class how they use to tell us that we had to get through at least a few chapters of a book before we were allowed to decide that it was not worth reading. I made it exactly 4 minutes into Fox’s Do Not Disturb before hurling my TV at a Hurricane Orphan.
It's Wednesday, and you know what that means. We're only two days away from the release of the new Meg Ryan chick flick, The Women! I would rather star in a remake of 2 girls, 1 cup than watch that. Even if I was playing the cup. Here are some links to help get that image out of your head. Not the 2 girls, 1 cup images, I know you're fine with those, but the Meg Ryan images. Yikes.
This weekend was one of the worst weekends in box office history, which could mean one of several things. Either you're all:A) Too busy leading glorious lives and enjoying every moment to its fullest.B) Too broke because you spent all of your money on Dark Knight tickets and gas.C) Acutally, it was probably B so there will be no more choices.
Want to watch a three hour long inside joke between annoying celebrities and 14 year old girls? Neither did I, but I have a duty and if that means having to watch Russell Brand bomb for longer than any comedian in history, then so be it. Russell who?
I’ve been writing recaps of the show Buzzin’ for the past month. Then one week it just didn’t show up on The MTV. The last episode that aired didn’t seem like any sort of finale. I called the Hollywood police to file a missing show report, but they didn’t seem to understand what I meant.
Wow, the new 90210 is really bad. I mean REALLY bad. It does one of the things that bothers me the most about bad ‘funny’ writing: it makes the assumption that a bunch of little jokes are going to add up to make something that’s funny as a whole. Furthermore, everything they do is borrowed from another show. You just can’t pick and chose from other titles and end up with a good product.
With last night's closing ceremonies, the 2008 Beijing Olympics closed out one of the highest rated TV events in the history of the idiot box. We're all guilty of watching at least some of it, but now it's time to get back to business as usual. That business, of course, is not giving a crap about anything even remotely Olympics related.
Don't worry, this isn't going to turn into some nerdy blog where we pine over plastic X-men or anything, but these limited edition Simpsons figures from hipster savior, Kidrobot would definitely look good all over my desk. Of course, $8 seems a little steep for a 3-inch vinyl figure, when it comes to art, I would definitely rather spend my dough on these than some painting.