In these hard economic times, Hollywood is hurting. Movie actors are having to stoop to TV. TV regulars are being relegated to guest star spots. And guest stars are having to join the circus or something like that. Celebrities endorsing ads has become a great way of supplementing their paltry incomes so they can keep up the mortgage payments on their respective chalets. Just witness current It Girl Zooey Deschanel in this ad for Cotton™. Yes, now that the material has Zooey's approval, the Cotton industry has hope of surviving. So WHAT IF ad agencies 'round the world stopped caring even more and went crazy with celebrity endorsements? Well, maybe this (fake) sh*t:
The wait is almost over. Season 4 of Adult Swim's fan-f**kin-tastic "Venture Brothers"is back for another season of action, adventure, sex, hilarity and intentional themes of epic failure around every corner. Join Dr. Venture, Hank, Dean and (maybe) Brock Samson(unless he really quit the Ventures). If you haven't seen Team Venture in action, do yourself a favor and rent the past three seasons on DVD (Season 3 is available on Blu-Ray. You won't regret it. Seriously… about a hundred times more pop culture jokes than in Juno, only actually funny and somehow more credible. Here are today's IN-credible links! Jessica Canizales Doesn't Like Her Shirt On (Gorillamask) Thoughts On The Disappearing Russian Cargo Ship (Holytaco) Bootleg Avatar Trailer Exceeds Expectations (Filmdrunk) 10 Bustiest Page 3 Girls Of All time (Manofest) Brew Fresh Coffee For Two Weeks Straight (Walyou) 50 Funniest Scenes In The History Of Film (Pajiba) 27 Playboy Playmates Who Twitter (Coedmagazine) Offices And House Music Don't Mix (Sickpigs) Brett Favre's Playbook Doodles (Maxim) The Time Traveler's Awful Wife (Celebjihad) 13 Ways To Have A Threesome (Mademan) Wilks Likely For UFC 105 Against 'The Immortal" (Cagepotato) Saw VI Poster Is Weird Boxing Glove Hands (Unreality) Dissolving Bikini Offers So Many Possibilities (Asylum) Hooters Girls, Golf, And Mr. Belding (Bustedcoverage) Weird Gallery Of Creative Drinking Cans (Uncoached) 2009 AFC South Preview (Moondogsports) Horses Fly When Cars Hit Them (Nothingtoxic) The Shaman At Comic-Con (Atomfilms) The Fourth Kind Trailer And Pics (Filmofilia)
The spiciest season yet of Top Chef premieres tonight on Bravo, and we can't wait to see what kind of foodie antics host Padma Lakshmi doles out in Sin City. This could quite possibly be the season where a naked Quick Fire Challenge gets things all hot and sweaty in the kitchen. Sure, it's unsanitary, but a nude Padma bossing those eager chefs around is too appealing of an idea to worry about E. coli. A word from Padma: "In India, we like healthier, more voluptuous types."Amen, sister. You gotta have something to grab on to. Check out a few more pics of Padma and all of her voluptuousness after the jump!
Hey there, modern gentlemen of the 1960s! Have you heard what's all the rage in prime time entertainment fifty years from now? "Mad Men," that's what! Why, on Sunday, 8/17/2009 (last sunday for us future folk), the Season 3 premiere enjoyed 2.8 million viewers. And that's basic cable, friend! What's basic cable you ask? Why, it's something that the entertainment industry will invent years from your time to dump off all the hooey, the likes with which respectable sponsors like Mutual of Omaha would never dare associate!
Weeds has a variety of incredibly attractive women on it, but in comparison to other shows, it has the milf market cornered. Much is said about Mary-Louise Parker, but the unsung hot mom of the show is Elizabeth Perkins. Playing Celia Hodes, she nails the "raging bitch" role down pat, almost too well. It makes us hope her character experiences a softening-up that occurs as a result of her new relationship with an oddly juvenile co-worker, preferrably played by Tom Hanks. That, or we could all just watch Big again. Either way, she's still hot.A word from Elizabeth: "My sisters are very academically inclined so whenever they would fix me up, it would always be from someone in their world, people they would find attractive. When they came to the door in suits, it was over."Luckily, most of our readership don't own suits, so it seems like we have a shot! Check out more hot photos of Elizabeth after the jump!
CLEVELAND FROM FAMILY GUY – Watch more Funny VideosThe panel for the "The Family Guy" spinoff "The Cleveland Show" didn’t have as much hype as the panels that were premiering big movie trailers or had anything remotely to do with either Lost or Twilight. What it did bring, however, was laughs, and lots of them. Instead of rambling, the group of panelists, which included Seth Macfarlane, Mike Henry, Jamie Kennedy, and the rest of the principal cast, let the show speak for itself, showing an extended clip of the pilot and a clip of an episode airing in December…
I understand that there's a natural skepiticism when one is informed of a both funny and hot woman; theoretically, the two cannot exist together, as it defies all common logic. But make no mistake: Jessi Klein is both hot and funny. She's been doing standup and clip shows for quite some time, and is now not only writing, but acting as the show-within-a-show's producer, Marla, on "Michael And Michael Have Issues." Meanwhile, I'm still trying to hire a team of scientists that will tell me how she is biologically possible. A word from Jessi: "When I meet a guy for the first time, I have no problem with his eyes wandering south for a second to check out my rack—that’s when I steal a glance at the little slip of landscape peeking out from the collar of his shirt. Is it heavily forested, gently grassy, or just a desert-like stretch of flesh, with nary a hair in sight to provide shade?" What a very fair way to handle that situation. Check out some classy (meaning with clothing, because she respects herself) photos and some of Jessi's standup routine after the jump!
By 9am, the line outside Hall H for the LOST: THE FINAL SEASON panel with co-creators Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse was already 1000+ fans deep, and the presentation wasn't until 11am. But the 6000+ fans that eventually made it inside were in for a real treat. Cuse and Lindelof came armed with tons of clips and almost equal amounts of special guests, and didn't disappoint even the hardcores that had been camping outside the San Diego Convention Center's Hall H since the night before.
After a montage of some of the creators' favorite LOST-related fan films, Cuse and Lindelof showed the audience a very well done promo for a fake throwback show that supposedly aired in the 80s, and which covered the mysterious Dharma Initiative that is such a huge part of the LOST mythology:
This afternoon, Olivia Munn, Kevin Pereira, Blair Butler and producers behind G4's megahit ATTACK OF THE SHOW held court in Room 5AB of the San Diego Convention Center for a little over an hour. The line to get in looked like it went about half the length of the entire San Diego Convention Center, and we're willing to bet over 500 people had to be turned away in the end. Too bad. Everyone who did get in received a complimentary kazoo and glowstick (more on these later)Introducing the show was none other than Apple's "Steve Jobs," and we have his entire 4-minute address here. Fast forward to the end if you just want a glimpse of Ms. Munn stepping out to her adoring fans.
This trailer courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter makes the new season of DEXTER look simply amazing. The show picks up after Rita has given birth to Dexter's baby, so it spares us from the whole gross/miraculous labor thing that happens to women. Keith Carradine is back as Agent Lundy, and John Lithgow joins the cast as the "Trinity Killer," an infamous serial killer who's been killing in threes for decades. If Lithgow's half as good at being bad as he was in CLIFFHANGER than we're in for one heck of a season. Check out these killer morning links… Wanted 2 Is In The Works (JoBlo) New Moon Breakdown Offers Hope (Cinematical) Kick Ass Footage Of Kick Ass Explained (/Film) Town Manager's Porn Star Wife Gets Him Booted (FilmDrunk) Highlights From The Burn Notice Press Room (FutonCritic)
We've got breaking news straight from Comic-Con: they're serving Lou Diamond Phillips Flapjacks. You heard it here first, folks. Waitresses will STAND AND DELIVER you delicious, fluffy, Lou-cakes at Cafe Diem, a real version of the cafe from the Syfy show Eureka. And you even get your choice of gourmet syrups. The question is, what does Lou Diamond Phillips syrup taste like…Today's Top Links:Nicole Jackson Likes Grass And Sand Equally (GorillaMask)8 Cartoon Characters That Probably Have Syphilis (HolyTaco)Schwarzenegger Governs Commando Style (FilmDrunk)Bingo The Bee's Unfortunate Accident (Manofest)X-Men Vinyl Dolls Are Both Cuddly And Awesome (WalYou)Top 10 90's Soundtrack Songs. No Sike! (Pajiba)7 True Stories That Prove Airlines Hate You (Cracked)Google Is So Ignorant (SickPigs)The 210 Most Shameful Drunken Shamings (CoedMagazine) Walter Cronkite Meets Michael Jackson In Hell (CelebJihad)4 Foods Cooked Better With Beer (MadeMan)Wanderlei Silva's Manager Shoots Down Bisping Rumor (CagePotato)The Dirtiest Apartment Contest (Unrealitymag)Behind The Scenes On The Millenium Falcon (Asylum)Dexter McCluster Serenades A White Woman (BustedCoverage)Do Fun Things With Body Hair (Uncoached)6 People Who Will Ruin Your Summer Pool Experience (RegretfulMorning)Math Nerd Matchmaking (BachelorGuy)Chicks From Hungary Make Us Hungry For More (MoonDogSports)Officer Involved Shooting Equals Lots Of Bullets (NothingToxic)Go Old School With 8-Bit Nintendo Fun (AtomFilms)2 'Thirst' Clips (Filmofilia)
THREE SHEETS Season 4 Sizzle Reel – Watch more Movie TrailersThis Monday night, July 20th, "Three Sheets" returns to television @ 10pm ET/PT on Fine Living Network (FLN). It's the start of Season 4, and host Zane Lamprey – a name that sounds like it should belong to the coolest sea creature EVER – is still traveling the world, drinking copious amounts of local alcoholic beverages, and following it up with… more booze. Occasionally, he eats bizarre foods, too, but usually is turned off by the taste and must wash it down with… more booze. In the United States, this would be called a drinking problem. But where Zane goes, the locals call this "way better than those crappy pamphlets at the tourism office," so they just laugh and laugh… and keep the beer/wine/rat poison flowing. Actually, I should let you know that this show in no way endorses irresponsible drinking. Lamprey is a pro, and can drink anyone under the table without losing his visuo-spatial perception, basic motor skills, or logic. Why Nick Nolte has not signed onto the show as Lamprey's faithful sidekick, I have no idea.
Not too long ago, about 20% of Screen Junkies readers likened us to the antichrist for having omitted T.A.R.D.I.S. from our list of Movie Time Machines. For those of you not in the know, T.A.R.D.I.S. is the inter-dimensional traveling phone booth from "Dr. Who," and not an elite task force of idiots, as the acronym may seem. An even smaller number of you may be aware that "Dr. Who" has a spinoff, called "Torchwood," airing on BBC America for the past few years. It's actually a pretty cool show – sort of like an "X-Files" meets "Buffy" meets funny accents and bad teeth (it's primarily based in Cardiff, Wales). And next week, Captain Jack and the covert operatives from Torchwood are getting a five part miniseries, the first seven minutes of which you can watch above. "Torchwood: Children of Earth" premieres five nights straight starting on Monday, July 20, 9:00 – 10:15 p.m. ET/PT on BBC AMERICA. 'Ere ah today's top links, guv'nah! Gillian Leigh Is Uber Good Looking (Gorillamask) 5 Terribly Awesome Examples Of Porn Acting (Holytaco) Bruno Terrorist Threatens To Sue (Filmdrunk) The 10 Funniest Workplace Training Videos Of All Time (Manofest) Finally: A Portable Microwave (Walyou) Pajiba's Final Thoughts On Michael Jackson (Pajiba) 9 Toys That Prepare Children For A Life Of Menial Labor (Cracked) Asians Make Animal Cruelty Seem Hilarious (Sickpigs) A New Kind Of Green Beer (Coedmagazine) Jessica Simpson Has A New Man (Celebjihad) 10 Things Harry Potter Teaches Men About The Real World (Mademan) Where Are They Now? The Cast Of Die Hard (Unreality) Awesomely Manly Cakes (Asylum) 10 Incredibly Entertaining One-Punch Knockouts (Uncoached) When Should One Wear A Condom? (Regretfulmorning) Get Tapped At Home With The Newcastle Draught Keg (Bachelorguy) US Senator Wants BCS Investigated (Moondogsports)
The MLB All Star Game is on tonight, and what better way to prepare you for it (other than legitimate baseball news, which I for one know none of) than with a girl gallery of a moderately famous actress who has %$&*d dated a buncha baseball players. That's right, it's Alyssa Milano. She's been linked to Brad Penny, Carl Pavano, Barry Zito, and Russell Martin. Although it seems her days of pretending she's Susan Sarandon's character in Bull Durham are over (she's engaged to a CAA agent now… he probably repped a baseball player on some movie), her love for the game still goes on. She's recently released a book entitled Safe At Home: Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic. A word from Alyssa: "I used to sleep nude – until the earthquake."While we try to digest what that quote means, YOU should check out more hot photos of Alyssa after the jump!
There's nothing like a trip to the ball field in the summer. The roar of the crowd, the organist's familiar theme, and the crack of the bat — all events that invigorate our senses. In honor of tonight's 2009 MLB All-Star Game we sat down to discuss which baseball films had the greatest impact on us as people, nay Americans. It sparked heated debate and words were said that cannot be taken back (Patrick called me a f** so I had my manager sucker punch him), but despite the brouhaha we were able to pare down the list to include the true Home Run Kings. So please join us as we pay salute to our national pastime with this montage of cinema's greatest hits (and we threw one TV show in there because it's too good to pass up).
"Entourage" made its triumphant return last night, and with it came the return of the adorable Emmanuelle Chriqui. She took a long break from playing Sloan, Eric's smoking hot girlfriend – much to the dismay of every heterosexual male who watches it in hopes of seeing attractive women (the same ones who watch to hear Ari say something cool that they can co-opt for themselves). The producers and writers must've realized they were all morons for not featuring her on the show, and now she's back. All is right with the world (except the economy, of course).A word from Emmanuelle: "You know, "Entourage" is the biggest surprise of my career. It's never really been my dream to be on a TV series. But every pilot season, my agent wants me to do something. So this time I said, 'Okay, look, if I do television, I want to do an HBO show.'"It's no surprise you'll find hot photos of Emmanuelle after the jump.
Happy Saturday, junkies! If you haven't already read our weekend preview, you might have missed that Comedy Central ran episodes of both "The State" and "Stella" in the wee hours of the morning. They likely didn't run this: an NSFW short written and driected by, and starring David Wain, Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter – a.k.a. Stella. It's my favorite of the "Stella Shorts," which preceded the Comedy Central show (a show which had Star Wars-level production value by comparison). Look for Moon and Iron Man 2's Sam Rockwell as a pizza delivery guy. With music by John Cougar Mellencamp.
I'll be honest; I haven't watched anything related to the WWE since 4th grade. I always felt that I needed a taste for Natty Light, trucker hats, and trailer homes to in order to fully appreciate the sport. And I had none of the those. But after scrambling to find a topical subject for today's girl gallery – and landing one – I now may be inclined to make a habit of WWE Friday Night Smackdown. Because there's always a chance that beautiful "Diva" Michelle McCool will show up. She's the current Divas World Champion, and, more importantly, used to be a 7th grade school teacher. I leave the immature schoolboy jokes to you.A word from Michelle: "I, like most of the other Divas, get this question often. Though the girls have done some absolutely beautiful, classy shoots with Playboy, it's not for me. For now, I'll be keeping my clothes on."Sh*t. Anway, check out some beautiful, classy photos of a scantily-clad Michelle after the jump!
By Patrick Schumacker
Hi there, fellow Junkies. After weeks of debate, late-night coffee runs, bruised egos and one pivotal coin flip, we've decided to bring back a daily dose of nightly TV recommendations. We haven't settled on a formula yet, so please bear with us as the way we deliver the goods will undoubtedly change more than Harry Knowles changes shirts (read: twice a week). And PLEASE, PLEASE give us constructive criticism in the comments section so that we can make this as entertaining and informative as possible. It's our way of giving back to the community while indirectly making people fatter so "Dance Your Ass Off" is never hurting for new contestants. Here's What to Watch:
Where You've Seen Her: If you are a man that has had a girlfriend within the past two or so years (or are just particularly interested in scandalous primetime soap operas), you've probably seen Leighton Meester on TV's "Gossip Girl." If you are a man that has had no girlfriend or affliction for girly shows recently, you might remember her as the smoking hot virgin pop star Justine Chapin on "Entourage." Soon most every guy will probably know her from her highly touted sex tape, which reportedly features her using her feet in creative ways. What a novel concept! A Word From Leighton: "I don't feel guilty at all if I'm just lying around, one of my best guilty pleasures is doing absolutely nothing"Check out a screenshot of the sex tape itself, and other hot (yet less seedy) photos of Leighton Meester after the jump:
The past week has been a tough one for celebrity grovelers like myself. First, Ed McMahon (sidekick of sidekicks) passes, then Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, and perhaps the most surreal, Mr. “As Seen on TV” Billy Mays. Not to sound crass, but Farrah and Ed were quite past their primes and neither passed suddenly (Ed was old and Farrah had battled cancer for a long time). So really, it’s a race to who was the biggest Celebrity death:
There are times in recent years when I am not sure if I am watching the News or "Access Hollywood." The reporting is as equally superficial and shallow for both nowadays. Nancy O'Dell should be a news correspondent for FOX, CNN, or MSNBC; she looks the part and can clearly read a teleprompter as good as the other "women journalists" at these corporate news channels. Which one is Nancy O’Dell from "Access Hollywood" and which one is a "serious journalist?" I have no idea, either.
Tonight, National Geographic Channel is airing an all-new documentary called "Hitler's Stealth Fighter." Apparently in the final months of World War II, American troops discovered a top-secret facility in Germany with an advanced, jet-propelled aircraft like no one had ever seen before. It was called "The Horten Ho 229." It was shaped like a massive bat wing… like something out of Star Wars. But its wooden body was most definitely man-made. So what did Uncle Sam's army do with it? Well, they brought back to the United States to be studied, of course. And everything that they learned about the Third Reich's mystery plane stayed a mystery… until now. Screen Junkies had a chance to check out an advance screener of the doc, and it's definitely worth watching. Aside from showing you this prototype of airborne insidiousness inside and out, it also makes you think about what might have happened had Hitler and the Nazis gotten their plane manufactured en masse and into the skies. It's some scary scheisse. "Hitler's Stealth Fighter" airs tonight at 9PM ET/PT on National Geographic Channel. Check out some more images and clips after the jump:
John Gosselin is free!!! Jon & Kate announced on their show yesterday that they are getting a divorce after ten years of marriage. I find this less surprising than the fact that they have eight children and are still legally sane. Divorce is sad, but for the kids that means twice as many Christmas presents, right?! Wait, it just means twice as much therapy? Booooo…
HBO Miniseries – THE PACIFIC – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERS Above is the trailer for the Steven Spielberg/Tom Hanks-produced "The Pacific." It's a 10-Part miniseries dealing with three interwoven stories of American soldiers fighting the Japanese in the Pacific during World War II (hence the title). If you look closely, you'll notice one of the key characters is played by Joseph Mazzello, whom you will undoubtedly remember as young Tim Murphy, the grandson of John Hammond… in Jurassic Paaaaaaaaahk. I for one did a double take. We missed you, Lil' Joey. Here are today's Top Links, which also require double takes.Kellie Maines Hanging Out By The Water (GorillaMask) What Your Facial Hair Really Says About You (HolyTaco) Victoria Jackson Walked Out Of Year One, Citing Fat Gays As Problem (FilmDrunk) The 10 Sexiest Fast Food Commercials Of All Time (Manofest) Big Lebowski Bobble Heads… There's A Jesus, But No Walter? (Walyou) The Gooby Trailer Is Mildly Disturbing (Pajiba) 7 Man-Made Substances That Laugh In The Face Of Science (Cracked) Right-Wing College Students Rap About Conservatism, Lameness Ensues (SickPigs) American Grads Unemployable, Says Top Indian CEO (CoedMagazine) Extended Previews For UFC 100 (CagePotato) The 20 Best Comedies Of The Last Decade (Unreality) 11 Famous People Who Contracted Malaria (Asylum) Greg Oden, Now 21, Is Attracting All Kinds Up In The Club (BustedCoverage) Like The Giant Piano Scene In Big, But More Impressive (Uncoached) 5 Official Drinks Of Summer (RegretfulMorning) The 5 S's That Get You The Girl (BachelorGuy) Stupid Newspaper Headlines (MoondogSports) How To Cook On Your Car Engine (MadeMan) Ultra-Violent Videogames Don't Derange Kids, The World Of Warcraft Does (NothingToxic) More Of The Weirdest Games From Japan (AtomFilms) A 5-Minute Clip From The Animated Sci-Fi Flick 9 (Filmofilia)
The Futon Critic snagged a great interview with David S. Goyer (The Dark Knight, Blade) and Marc Guggenheim, Executive Producers on the new ABC sci-fi/drama FlashForward. In it they discuss the confusion over the show's labeled genre, the difficulties of writing a serialized show for today's viewers, and the mysterious date of April 29, 2010, the day the characters experienced their flash forwards. If you're not aware of the show's premise, basically when a mysterious event causes the entire world to black out for two minutes and seventeen seconds, humanity is given a glimpse into its near future, and every man, woman, and child is forced to come to grips with whether their destinies can be avoided or fulfilled. Read the interview in full by clicking on Goyer's delightful smile below.
Ian, please write some copy about these shorts here. Just include some info about what they are, and how they fit into Showtime's agenda… maybe make some light joke about them, but don't be too critical because we're being asked to promote them. And they're kinda funny anyway. Make sure you change the time and date so that this doesn't get buried under anything it shouldn't.
Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins once sang, "Though we might hate to admit it/There are always two sides to every story." I bet the two ex-Genesis frontmen had no idea they'd be singing about "Battlestar Galactica."SCI FI Wire posted an exclusive trailer for the BSG spinoff movie called The Plan, which they claim "will likely come out on DVD and will also air this fall—recaps the story of the destruction of the human Colonies from the point of view of the Cylons."Screen Junkies' resident BSG expert, Jim "Bad Mother Frakker" Connelly expressed his concern over what the toll this film will take on the lives of all Battlestar fans. Said Connelly, "[I'm] worried EJO is right, and that it'll spur rewatching the whole series again!" I'm guessing Connelly's EJO is Edward James Olmos and not the Electronic Journal of Oncology. The latter did have a great article on smoking and polymorphism in xenobiotic metabolizing enzymes, though. What say you, fans? Would rewatching the entire series be that bad?
Kudos to you, Mark Paul Gosselaar, for being able to make fun of yourself. Kudos, to you, sir! Last night on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Mark Paul Gosselaar, currently starring in "Raising the Bar" on TNT, showed up in full "Saved By the Bell" Zach Morris regalia, and did a classic Zach Morris direct-address to camera. It was kind of uncanny how much he can still pull off Bayside High's coolest student ever. The phone you could choke a horse with played no small part in selling it. Say what you want about Jimmy Fallon as a host. He's still finding his legs. But you can't deny he and his team of writers – including head staffer A.D. Miles from "The State" – are coming up with some material that rivals Conan's Late Night crew.