UPDATE: Apologies, but I was forced to remove this due to copyright issues. You can check out the original article at Cracked HERE, which delves deeper into MacFarlane's process.
Not too long ago, most actors on TV were unknown before they were cast. Guys like Clooney and…other guys like Clooney. Then a trend started where the actors cast were former film stars — of a certain degree, at least. Actors and actresses that were once well-known before bigger and better looking talent overshadowed them. But TV has never shied away from second rate, so the trend has continued and will keep getting stronger. And alas, there are still many more of these former semi-moderately-successful movie stars in the unemployment line waiting for their TV break. Here’s just a partial list of such people and the shows they may be working on next. Because an extensive list might number somewhere in the hundreds. Lou Diamond Phillips
Anna Paquin has shocked the world with the announcement that she is bi-sexual. Pictures please! Umm, only because I'm not sure that I believe her. So I'm going to need to see those pictures. Pictures that I can keep for a while. And video. None of that grainy, night-cam bullsh*t either. From E!: Well, we didn’t see this one coming. Anna Paquin has made a surprise—and we’re guessing welcome—declaration of her sexuality. “I’m bisexual,” the engaged "True Blood" star announces in a new PSA for the Give a Damn campaign, a project started by Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Fund, fighting for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality. You may remember Rosie O'Donnell coming out in a similiar manner with her Give a Ham campaign. Oh, whatever you guys. It was this or write some trite speculation about The Avengers. Watch Anna's PSA after the jump.
Since the start of NBC TV’s fall season we have been treated to the hilarious and at times very cynical life of the Greendale Community College student in the aptly titled show “Community.” From the oddball university reject scholar to the burnt out faculty and scheming administration, the show never fails to deliver the wacky world of affordable education. For the past 5 years of my post-high school life this is a world I’ve know far too well, with my main thought being what can I do to get a C grade around here.Let us now do a comparison of the characters we watch on TV’s “Community” and what we would see on a real community college campus, a place where anyone with $26 dollars (the cost per academic unit in California) in their pocket can claim to have some college experience.
Al Bundy always knew how to have a good time at the optometrist. (IWatchStuff) These links look better with silly glasses on. The Real Overlook Hotel from 'The Shining' (Moviefone) The Smartest Milk Jug Ever (Asylum) Joseph Gordon-Levitt Wants to Work With Cats (PopEater) 25 Terrifying Easter Bunnies (HolyTaco) Steven Spielberg is Paranoid (FilmDrunk) Ninetendo Car Engine Mod (Unreality) Sexy Aerobics Girl (TotalProSports) Easter Eye Candy (Maxim) Val Kilmer with Laser Eyes! (Smosh) Blake Lively Gets Spanked (CelebJihad) UFC Fight Night Results: The Prelims (CagePotato) Roland Emmerich Tackles Shakespeare (Pajiba) Just Some Dude in Panties Partying (Atom) How to Fight a Bull (MadeMan) LOL Race Pics (AllLeftTurns)
Still waiting for this to hit the big screen.Today's links are ready now for your viewing pleasure. Actors Who Have Played Identical Twins (Moviefone)Is Porn Good for Society? (Asylum)James Franco is Smarter Than You (PopEater)25 Hot Spring Break Girls (HolyTaco)An E-Trade Baby Movie? You're Sh*tting Me. (FilmDrunk)12 Acapella Versions of Your Favorite Themes (Unreality)Hot Bikini Girls Mud Wrestling (TotalProSports)21 Monkeys Being Awesome (Maxim)Stupid Baby Tricks (Smosh)Huge Collection of Jennifer Aniston's Rump (CelebJihad)Gambling Addiction Enabler: UFC Fight Night 21 (CagePotato)160 Greatest Schwarzenegger Quotes (Pajiba)3D Cooking Show (Atom)Building Your Man Garage (MadeMan)Hamlin Enjoys Some Goody's Pain Relief (AllLeftTurns)7 Ways to Still Use Your Small Penis (RegretfulMorning)
Monica Potter is that actress who kinda looks like Julia Roberts. She was Nic Cage's wife in Con Air and Robin Williams' girlfriend in Patch Adams. After having a fictitious relationship with those two hop heads, being married to Peter Krause on Parenthood must be a relief. A word from Monica: "People figure because I'm blonde and was a model, I just waltzed into Los Angeles and got major roles in major films." That's ridiculous. No one "waltzes" anymore. You most likely strutted into L.A. and got major roles in major films. People are idiots. Check out more pics of the blond model after the jump.
Back in January we reported that AMC had greenlighted the pilot for "The Walking Dead", and now the network has ordered six episodes while the pilot is still in the casting stages. These six episodes will complete the first season, an order that might not seem sufficient for fans of the graphic novel, but we shouldn't bite the brains that feed us.The biggest of those brains belongs to Frank Darabont, who wrote and directed the pilot, and who will serve as executive producer of the series. Robert Kirkman, the creator of the graphic novel, will also serve as executive producer along with Gale Anne Hurd, David Alpert, and Charles Eglee, who was a writer on "Dexter." "The Walking Dead" is set to premiere in October 2010 during AMC's Fearfest (formally MonsterFest), the network's annual marathon of thriller and horror films. (THR)
Leighton Meester plays a bad teen on TV's Gossip Girl, but in real life she's just your average prudish twenty-something. At least that's what all the quotes from her say. This seems perfectly believable if you forget that she has a sex tape. A word from Leighton: "When you move from Florida to New York, you're in for a big shock." I know, right?! You can get a pastrami sandwich any time of the night! But other than that they're almost exactly the same. See more of how innocent Leighton is after the jump.
Jack didn't take it very well.FOX has decided to pull the plug on 24 after eight seasons. Climbing budgets, declining ratings, and writers being unable to figure out what the hell is left for Jack Bauer to save are the main reasons the show will air its final episode in May. NBC flirted with the idea of picking up 24 next season but after their accountants crunched the numbers they realized the content wasn't worth the cheddar.There's still the possibility of a 24 feature film that would take Jack Bauer to Europe, but there's also the possibility of an Arrested Development movie, and we all know how sluggishly that's been making its adaptation. I enjoyed 24 a great deal in its earlier years, but quickly got tired of the same "Tell me where the bomb is!" storyline week after week after week after week. It had a good run. I'm glad they're ending it before it jumps a terrorist shark strapped to the gills with C4. (THR)
That's right. The most popular Halloween costume of 2009 (and would-be vice-leader of the free world) is joining the esteemed ranks of reality television. TLC has landed the Sarah Palin's "Alaska" reality series. In the eight episode series, Palin will show us her Alaska as well as take us inside her home. But knowing TLC this is all just a launchpad for a series about competitive moose-eating contests. I know how they think.Discovery Communications edged out rival A&E Networks for the show, with the remaining question being which of its suite of channels would air the program. Discovery Channel is considered the flagship brand, and certainly a home for travelogues, though the company felt Palin's appeal was better suited toward mom-friendly TLC. The network is best known for "Jon & Kate Plus Eight," and also airs "Cake Boss," "Little People, Big World" and "American Chopper." (THR)Seeing how being dumb on television launched Jessica Simpson and Snooki into super-stardom, my prediciton is we'll either see Palin in the White House or shilling for Carl's Jr as a result of this. Maybe both.
Smart move, Kid. I'm sure South Park won't take advantage of this.These links are for Gingers and normal people alike. Watch The World's Best Prom Now (Moviefone)Facebook May Help Spread Syphilis (Asylum)Bar Refaeli Grateful She's Away from Leo (PopEater)25 Babies with Laser Eyes (HolyTaco)Seth Meyers Discusses Will Forte's Boner Ghost (FilmDrunk)Five Crazy Rubik's Cube Videos (Unreality)48 Pics of UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste (TotalProSports)Divas of WWE (Maxim)17 Best Keep Out Signs Ever (Smosh)Miley Cyrus Spring Cleavage Coming in Nicely (CelebJihad)Georges St. Pierre and Frank Mir Talk UFC 111 (CagePotato)7 Best Theme Songs from Current TV Shows (Pajiba)Gigabots 2 (Atom)6 Essential Beer Cocktails (MadeMan)NASCAR Bathroom Prank (AllLeftTurns)25 Best Bachelor Frog Memes (RegretfulMorning)
I was pretty vocal with my disappointment that David Cross's "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret" wouldn't air on American television. I mean, c'mon, those lucky Brits have the world on a string — awesome weather, those Jedward guys, and unsurpassed prevention of prostitute murder. Well, it was rumored before and now it's official. Beginning this fall, IFC will air David Cross's fish out of water comedy as well as two other very funny series. A TV version of The Onion News Network (Winter 2011) and the Kids in the Hall reunion series "Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town" (August 2010) have earned slots on the channel's schedule. Elsewhere, Comedy Central will be airing reruns of "Krod Mandoon" and "Naked Trucker & T-Bone's Show" ad nauseum. (Time)
Whatever deal Tyler Perry made with the devil apparently doesn’t extend to every actor in the biz. I'm talking about the kind of people in this group of cursed thesps/models pretending to act. I have even heard about a law being proposed that if you have had more than two TV shows cancelled, you are banned for life from participation in a TV show again. I heard about it because I personally submitted it to Congress under the name Mayor McFartcheese. I haven't been contacted yet.Without futher ado, here are ten actors who are television cancer:Blair Underwood
Here's a video of some of the actors from "Lost" saying "Mmm…cake." When the women do it I get horny and hungry at the same time. Good thing I've got my Sarah Lee sex doll on hand. Nobody DOES do it like Sarah Lee…Mmm…links.John Cusack in the Rain Montage (Moviefone)Sweet Artwork on a Bald Head (Asylum)Tina Fey Goes Wild in Esquire Photo Shoot (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Tournament: Round 1, Day 2 (HolyTaco)'Clash of the Titans' Poster Vandalism (FilmDrunk)Emperor Palpatine is Chillin' with His Bros (Unreality)Obama's Bracket Has Kansas Taking the Title (TotalProSports)St. Patty's Day Drinking Map (Maxim)12 Examples of Poor Body Painting (Smosh)12 Anti-Irish Cartoons for St. Patty's Day (CelebJihad)Jon Jones Has Some Tricks to Show Off (CagePotato)Code Monkeys Like Fritos (Pajiba)Banned Heartburn Commercial (Atom)Buy Your Own Kidnapping (MadeMan)LOL Race Pics: The Incredible Carl (AllLeftTurns)
In honor of St. Patrick's Day, we have an update about Conan O'Brien's comedy show. Those of us who weren't able to surprise our girlfriends with tickets to "The Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour" (what's Jay Leno's excuse?) may be in luck today. Remember how you didn't really watch "The Tonight Show" while he hosted and he was subsequently fired? Well, now you have the option to ignore a documentary about the upcoming tour too.We don't know what exactly to expect from the documentary but the tour itself is rumored to be off the wall with surprise guests and O'Brien's guitar (unfortunately). The ousted host's attempts to please "The Tonight Show" audience were lackluster due to the forced sanitization of his material so it will be fun to see him cut loose from the fetters of the network and crabby, old people. Always driving so damn slow and buying up all the Werther's. (Deadline)
HBO refuses to falter in its attempts to overtake our Sunday nights. Yesterday we showed you the new trailer for David Simon's "Treme" and today we have a longer look at the Terrence Winter and Martin Scorsese period drama "Boardwalk Empire." Set in Prohibition-era Atlantic City, it's an old timey look at gambling and gangsters starring Steve Buscemi as Nucky Thompson, the real life crime boss who ruled A.C. with an iron fist and distended eyeballs. Think of it as "Deadwood" with running water and Omar from "The Wire." Have a look at Atlantic City's glory days before it was claimed by the elderly, after the jump.
The teaser for "Treme" gave us only sad, orphaned instruments, so it's nice to see some people paying attention to them in this new trailer. Everyone seems happy as pie, but since "The Wire's" David Simon is co-creator I have a sneaking suspicion things are going to take a turn for the worse. It's just good TV, folks. Or rather, good HBO.Show these links some love.'Airplane!' Movie Quotes (Moviefone)How to Live in a Treehouse (Asylum)PETA Doesn't Like Mike Tyson Racing Pidgeons (PopEater)This 'Twilight' Comic Gets It Right (NotZombies)25 Animals Playing Sports (HolyTaco)St. Patrick's Day: The Movie (FilmDrunk)8 Child Starts from Classic Horror Films (Unreality)The Greatest Wrestling Move EVER (TotalProSports)24 Hours: Rob Corddry (Maxim)19 Best Homeless Person Signs (Smosh)Justin Bieber Concert Ends in Violence (CelebJihad)Hot Maria Kanellis Pics (CagePotato)'Breaking Bad' Contest (Pajiba)Evan and Gareth: Tie (Atom)How to Drink with Dignity (MadeMan)March Madness: NASCAR Ediiton (AllLeftTurns)
From its earliest days, "South Park" has been at its best when it is mocking the hypocrisy and stupidity of people and their foibles, and nowhere is this more evident than in the many episodes where it has forayed into political parody. Sometimes the episode has been merely subtly political, whereas others, such as the episode about the conclusion of the 2008 presidential race, have been overtly so. Regardless of the context, you can usually count on "South Park" to deliver an entertaining and insightful ride where not a single soul is left blameless and everybody ends up with egg on their face, be they the President of the United States or Osama bin Laden. The season premiere of "South Park" this Wednesday features a bit of a parody on the recent Blackwater scandal, and so in honor of that, Screen Junkies presents…
Sons of Tucson — Premieres Sunday Mar. 14 at 9:30/8:30 C on FOX – Watch more Funny Videos Check out this featurette of the new FOX comedy Sons of Tucson. Reese from Malcolm in the Middle is producing, so there's a good chance it could be twisted fun. What's that? You want to know what it's about? Well allllright! In the tradition of Malcolm in the Middle, Sons of Tucson is a family comedy about three brothers who hire a charming, wayward schemer to stand in as their father when their real one goes to prison. What begins as a simple business relationship evolves into a totally f'ed up family situation. The three brothers find their dad-for-hire working at the local sporting goods store. Ron, who's living out of his car like a man's man, is forced to dig into a vast bag of skeevy tricks as he steps into the role of patriarch to the boys of the Gunderson family. Sons of Tucson premieres Tonight @ 9:30/8:30C on FOX.
A sexy fight, that is.We reported earlier that extremely attractive Asian actress Maggie Q would play the title character in the CW's Nikita. Today there's news that she'll have some company. Lyndsy Fonseca (Kick-Ass, Hot Tub Time Machine) has signed on to play a newly-recruited, younger Nikita tasked with bringing in Q's character after she goes rogue. Sounds a bit like a mix between The Fugitive and NBC's ill-fated Bionic Woman remake.Fonseca's character is described as an "attractive, young, white female with virtually no personal ties or paper trail." In other words, Charlie Sheen's dream woman. (The Futon Critic)
When it was first announced that Conan O'Brien would embark on a live tour as a means around NBC's cock-blockery, my first thought was "Awesome!" Then my second thought was, "Don't bring your guitar. Don't bring your guitar. Don't bring your guitar." Today the giant comedian wrote on his Twitter:“Hey Internet: I’m headed to your town on a half-assed comedy & music (GODDAMNIT-Ed.) tour. Go to http://TeamCoco.com for tix. I repeat: It’s half-assed.”We've got the full list of tour dates after the jump but I've got to say, I'm kind of disappointed. Tickets for the Radio City Music Hall dates cost between $44 and $84 BEFORE Ticketmaster rapes your wallet with hidden fees and bullsh*t additional charges. Conan's funny and all but if I want to see a Masturbating Bear, I can probably do so for free in the West Village. (Team Coco)FIND OUT WHEN CONAN'S COMING TO YOUR JERKWATER TOWN AFTER THE JUMP…
Timothy Olyphant loves himself some westerns. First he squared off with Ian McShane on the HBO drama Deadwood, and now he's back as gun-slinging U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens in the FX show Justified. Let it be known, his character only draws his weapon when he has to, and when he does, he shoots to kill, because, as he sees it, that's the purpose of a gun. That, and looking totally badass in front of your elementary school friends.I honestly can't see this show being unworthy of my time. It stars Timothy Olyphant and Walton Goggins from The Shield a.k.a. the best show ever, is adapted by Graham Yost, the creator of the stellar cancelled NBC show Boomtown, from an Elmore Leonard short story, and is on FX, quite possibly the most badass network on television. The only thing that would make FX more badass is if it were holding a gun. Get on that, Rupert Murdoch. Check out the behind the scenes featurettes after the jump. Justified premieres on FX next Tuesday, March 16 at 10PM ET/PT.
Nick Swardson Screen Junkies Shout Out – Watch more Funny VideosWe caught up with Nick Swardson on the set of his new Comedy Central sketch show. More on that in the future, but right now Nick gives us a creepy shout out.Here are today's links. 10 Most Ridiculously Mismatched Movie Couples (Moviefone)A Woman's Perspective on Cheating (Asylum)Heidi Montag Says No To Plastic (PopEater)25 Inappropriate Children's Books (HolyTaco)How To Write a Romantic Comedy (Uproxx)15 Best Pics of Christina Hendricks (Unreality) Capitals Alexander Shoutout Fail (TotalProSports)Women of Spring Training (Maxim)15 Fearless Streakers (Smosh)Ben Roethlisberger Claims He Was Sexually Assaulted (CelebJihad)Jim Miller Talks UFC 111 (CagePotato)Felicia Day to Fight Werewolves (Pajiba)Pregnant Hotties Do The Bump 'n Grind (Atom)Red Bull Art of the Can (MadeMan)New Gran Turismo 5 Demo (AllLeftTurns)7 Bad Phone Habits You Need to Stop (RegretfulMorning)
Gerald McCullouch of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation was arrested for public urination last week in New York and has been court ordered to undergo counseling. He tells New York Daily News:"I'd had a little to drink. So, as I was coming down the West Side Highway, I asked my cab driver to pull over so I could relieve myself. Suddenly I was surrounded by three cop cars. I said, 'Officer, at least let me finish!' But I actually learned something from the hour-long quality-of-life counselling the judge sentenced me to. Education is better than a fine." When reached for comment CSI: Miami star David Caruso said, "When you're surrounded by three cop cars, you know…. *sunglasses*…. urine trouble." YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! (IMDB)
Beer and TV go together like hookers and blow. And since both of those are illegal AND expensive, why don't you just crack open a cold one and stroll through 8 of TV's best screen-licking brews. PAWTUCKET PATRIOT ALE
Hip grandma Betty White will soon be staying up nine hours past her bedtime. People caught up with the aged star at Elton John's Oscars viewing party where she confirmed the rumors that she will appear on an upcoming episode of Saturday Night Live, though she doesn't know when. Originally, it was believed she would appear on a "Women of Comedy" episode alongside Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Molly Shannon but Lorne Michaels has shot down those reports.It's not known whether she will host or provide a cameo but White is just happy for to be a part of the confusing campaign. "I don't know why or how," says White, "but it's been wonderful." Though at the age of 88, I'm sure more than a few things confuse her. Like young women nowadays always putting their elbows on the table. Back in her day, a lady knew how to ensnare a man. (People)
"I interrupt this speech to put my fist in my mouth!"The strangest moment at last night's Academy Awards (besides whatever was coming out of Sean Penn's mouth) was when Music by Prudence director-producer Roger Ross Williams bolted to the stage to accept the best documentary short statue. At first I thought he ran because he was seated in the nosebleeds, but it soon became clear that he was running for his life when a crazy drunk lady bum-rushed the stage. Turns out that lady was Elinor Burkett, a once-producer on the documentary who had removed herself from it over a year ago and not sitcom star Marcia Wallace as I had originally believed.Get the he said, she said from Salon after the jump.
Wheeeeew, did you guys catch that Oscar thing last night?! What a thing that was, huh? Not so much? Well if you didn't read along with our live blog while you were watching I can understand why you might not have had any fun. But hey, that doesn't mean you can't read it now and laugh your head off from the nostalgia. Last night will be a night we'll all remember for a VERY long time. Wait, a woman won something right?Check out the winners here, and read our "hilarious" live blog below! SJ Oscar Live Blog
The 82nd Annual Academy Awards have come and gone with no real big upsets. Here's a quick recap but you can also check out our live blog for a play-by-play of the night.The Hurt Locker took home Best Picture as well as snagging the Best Director prize for Kathryn Bigelow. Not to mention Best Original Screenplay for Mark Boal.Jeff Bridges finally won the Best Actor prize that has been waiting for him for his portrayal of Bad Blake in Crazy Heart.Sandra Bullock was surprised to see she edged out Meryl Streep to win Best Actress for The Blind Side.The supporting categories went to Cristoph Waltz and Mo'Nique.Though James Cameron was beat by a girl, Avatar won three prizes – Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, and Best Visual Effects.A round of congratulations are in order for all of the winners as well as the nominees who went home empty-handed. It's a thrill just to be considered and I think we all can agree that the real loser of the night was Ben Stiller.CHECK OUT THE FULL LIST OF WINNERS AFTER THE JUMP…