A trailer for the new season of "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" runs through all the weird sh*t that has happened in seasons past. Not sure if this to inspire viewers to watch, or to make them realize, "Why the hell did I watch this crap?" But before that thought can sink in, they hit us with the image of a jailed Justin Bieber. I have a feeling he's only in there because he wants to be. He's like The Joker.
Check it out after jump…
Dexter's world literally turns upside down in this new promo where Michael C. Hall moves into a spacious fully-furnished cement mixer with an ocean view. The new season premieres with Dexter squaring off against Robo-Cop on Sunday, September 26th at 9pm so expect the Showtime hype-machine to go into overdrive. Dexter on buses, billboards, and on magazines. Just don't expect to see any ads on Awesome Husband and Dad Quarterly.
Have a look at the lazily green-screened promo after the jump…
If you haven't already stolen the banned "Family Guy" episode in some form or another, you'll have the chance to watch it on DVD September 28th. "Partial Terms of Endearment" was aired in the U.K. but never in the U.S. because it was deemed too offensive for such a high-brow culture that puts mozzarella cheese sticks in a grilled cheese.
The episode follows what happens when Lois agrees to become a surrogate mother for an infertile couple, a decision Peter isn't happy about. Doesn't seem so controversial to me, but then again I'm writing this post while perched atop a pile of styrofoam cups. Yeah, that's right! They don't decompose! The DVD will sell for $14.98, and before you start b*tching about the price for a single episode, it also includes some special features: The Seth and Alex Almost Like Comedy Show, Family Guy: Live and Uncensored Table Read, Animatic for "Partial Terms of Endearment," Nine Original Songs Composed for "Family Guy," and a Digital Copy. Now you can go ahead and b*tch. (CinemaBlend)
Talk about an authority on the subject.
"Here we'll help you with that gunshot wound."
Here we have a trailer for FX's new comedy-drama-action series "Terriers." The latest from "The Shield" creator Shawn Ryan, and stars Ghost Rider's BFF Donal Logue and Rene from "True Blood" as two unlicensed private investigators. In other words, a couple of real busy bodies. I was surprised to find out this isn't a remake of a British show. Don't they have a "Terriers." I thought they did. They totally should, right?
Check out the trailer for Hawaii 4-0 "Terriers" after the jump…
Previously on "True Blood," Sookie and Bill broke up. Crystal left her (possibly werewolf or shifter) meth dad and fiancé (two different people) for Jason. Sam took in his brother and kicked their mom and dad to the curb. Tara was having problems handling her recent Franklin trauma. Lafayette and Jesus got back together. The King tried to take Sookie forcibly (who was defended by Bill and Jess). Eric killed Talbot as retribution for The King killing his dad a thousand or so years ago. Sookie and Bill got back together. And now onto this week's episode…
More after the jump…
Settle in. It’s time for another installment of my fall TV show tips. This week I’m looking at the new spy/conspiracy-type shows that promise a heavy dose of gratuitous action.
“Alias” went off the air a few seasons ago and “24” is now gone. “Human Target” is back in October, but after that, most of the espionage/government agent entries are freshman series. A couple of them seem to be packing enough intrigue to keep auds hanging around, while another isn’t really blowing my skirt up.
WATCH IT: “Nikita” (CW), Thursdays at 9 pm (ET)
Ricky Gervais is looking to break ground on "The Office" in the Far East. "We are about to start work on developing a Chinese "The Office,"" the comedian wrote on his blog Thursday.
The co-creator of the British and American version, and star of the former, will have to consider the difference in social mores between the countries. For instance, are bobbleheads even allowed in China offices, or is a minature plastic figure with a head that foolishly swings side to side a disgrace to formal business practices? I can't imagine a boss with a carefree management style such as Michael Scott would last very long as the head of a branch. In America, they give you a slap on the wrist for accidently spouting racist slurs. In China, your family is forced to disown you. At least, that's what SJ's China correspondent tells me. Or I assume, since I don't bother translating his emails. (THR)
Play it cool, boys. Geez.
You've been waiting years to touch Christina Hendricks and now eBay is making it possible. A 10-day "Mad Men" auction goes live on Thursday in which some of the items up for bid are a walk-on role on the show, furniture and props from Sterling Cooper, and dresses that have graced the skin of both Betty Draper (January Jones) and Joan Harris (Christina Hendricks). Imagine the things you could do with those dresses, as long as you have the matching shoes, of course.
A portion of the proceeds from the auction will go to the lung cancer program at southern California's City of Hope hospital. The other portion will go to the January-Jones-F*cked-Up-Again fund. You can start bidding tomorrow HERE. Make sure your PayPal accounts are in order. Christina Hendricks's dress waits for no nerd. (Vulture)
AMC has officially picked up the crime thriller the "The Killing" to series. It will join the line-up of "Mad Men," "Rubicon," "Breaking Bad," and "The Walking Dead," the Frank Darabont zombie series that you and I both can't wait to premiere in October. The show will be renamed, and run by creator/executive producer Veena Sud.
Set in Seattle, the series is based on the wildly successful Danish television series “Forbrydelsen” and tells the story of the murder of a young girl and the subsequent police investigation. Production on the series begins this fall in Vancouver and season one consists of 13, one-hour episodes. The series is slated to premiere in 2011 on AMC.
If you're intrigued, you can read the rest of the press release after the jump. And just FYI, Keanu Reeves doesn't star in it. Awww, don't be sad. Put that sandwich down and get off of that bench.
Sofia Vergara let the Freudian slips fly on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" last night. Actually, it all started earlier in the day when Sofia tweeted that she was excited to "do Kimmel" that night. Except she meant "do" as in appear on, not "do" as in bang.
In trying to defend herself on the show, she kept accidentally rambling on and on about sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex. Does the woman think of nothing else? Before we know it she's going to convince Christina Hendricks that they should do a topless photoshoot together. It sickens me! **Mother pulls ear away from bedroom door. Google "Modern Family/Mad Men" fan fiction**
Check out the euphemisms after the jump…
Good news for anyone who likes washed-up pop stars! Britney Spears is going to appear on "Glee", according to the show's creator Ryan Murphy.
Instead of having a drunken Spears ram her car into the glee club's bus or attempt to buy drugs off of one of the students, the show decided to take the high road by having most of Britney's scenes take place in a dream sequence.
After being put under in the dentist's chair, some of the characters from the show will "hallucinate about being like the singer." I can only assume that means they will dream about forgetting to feed their children while drunkenly scouring the house for that last free sample of Valtrex. (Coming Soon)
Everyone's curious what will become of "The Office" after this season, once Steve Carell packs his assorted chochkies and potted plant into a banker's box and is forcefully removed from the Scranton Sabre branch. A replacement has yet to be named but sources say that both of the slobs pictured above have been contacted about joining the cast.
Showrunner Paul Lieberstein confirms that Rhys Darby ("Flight of the Conchords") and Danny McBride (every comedy) are having conversations about coming aboard in the role of a new salesman. It's not a done deal that the actor who takes this role will take over as boss. That job could easily go to a current castmember. Sound off in the 'comments' section to let us know who you think would make the best dipsh*t boss. (EW)
Here’s the third installment of your guide to the new fall TV shows and this time I dish out wisdom about the sitcoms centered around a family. Please don't confuse these shows with 'family sitcoms' — the shows like "Full House" and the one with Urkel that were ‘kid safe’ and painfully lacking in humor. These are sitcoms that are made for adults and just happen to be about a family. There aren't many of these debuting this fall, but there is one you definitely want to tune in to.
WATCH IT: “$#*! My Dad Says” (CBS), Thursdays at 8:30 pm (ET)
I'll take the one on the right. No, just one is fine.
TLC has taken another step in its insatiable quest to find rock bottom. The network's new reality show, "Sister Wives," will chronicle the lives of a group of fundamentalist Mormons who practice polygamy. It's like a double episode of "Wife Swap," except with just one guy and no swapping.
But in case you think the producers are simply exploiting the lives of a bunch of religious fanatics for ratings, think again. They actually care about these people. As it turns out, they're just like you or me…except for the whole "cult" thing.
“They are very much a modern family. They are open-minded. They are generally adorable,” said Bill Hayes, president of North Carolina-based Figure 8 Films and co-executive producer of the show. “Their children were so well behaved and polite and healthy and happy,” he added. “Pardon the cliche, but the proof was in the pudding. I thought, ‘What a bunch of great young people, and there was nothing strange about them.’"
You know, he has a point. Maybe there's nothing strange about a group of women being used as a human puppy mill, as long as their children are well behaved, and provided they don't shoot me during their apocalyptic final battle with the federal government. After all, a single mom lives next door, and I'm pretty sure her kids are running a meth lab. Perhaps four moms is the way to go. (Warming Glow)
The people of Queensland, Australia, might want to throw another shrimp on the barbie (unless shrimp falls into the whole shellfish/non-kosher category, in which case a nice brisket might be more in order).
Stephen Spielberg has chosen the land down under as the filming location for his new TV series, "Terra Nova," Coming Soon has confirmed.
"We wanted this ambitious series to look like no other on television and Queensland provided the best of all possible worlds," executive vice president of production, Jim Sharp added. "Queensland had the right look, climate and terrain…"
Considering the show is about a group of scientists from the future who travel back 85 million years to prehistoric Earth, I'm not exactly sure that's a ringing endorsement for Queensland tourism bureau.
Come to Queensland: "The Land That Time Forgot!"
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Would you pick this up from a store display? Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo announced to Spinner that the cover of the band's new album "Hurley" will feature the face of Jorge Garcia, who played Hurley on "Lost." He tries to explain but I still don't understand:
"I just loved this photo of Jorge Garcia — it just had this amazing vibe. We didn't want to do a fourth self-titled record and we knew people would refer to it as 'the Hurley record' even if left it without that title, so we just called it 'Hurley.' No words are on the cover because all we wanted was his amazing face."
Thank you, Rivers, for making me feel a whole lot better about my face. Unless by "amazing" you mean perplexing and slightly off-putting. Than NO thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm putting the finishing touches on my "Marty" demo cover.
Previously on "True Blood," Sam helped his brother escape a vicious dog-fighting ring. Bill and Sookie tag-teamed Lorena, and not in a good way. Jason dug for info on Crystal. Sookie saved Bill's life by letting him feed on her and he went overboard and put her in a coma. Later, Bill saved Sookie from a really weird coma dream with a bunch of hippie fairies and then she freaked when she woke up and saw him. The King (of Mississippi AKA Russell) and Queen (of Louisiana) saved Pam and then the King tortured the Magister until he married them, then the King cut his head off. And now on to this week's episode…
More after the jump…
Over the years, Showtime has built an impressive stable of shows featuring strong but flawed women. Nancy Botwin from "Weeds" deals drugs, Jackie Peyton from "Nurse Jackie" takes drugs, and Belle from "Secret Diary of Call Girl" sells sex for money. Now we have Cathy Jamison from the upcoming "The Big C" to add to the group. She doesn't dabble in anything illegal, yet, but after she's diagnosed with cancer, she decides to let her freak flag fly.
You can watch the first episode right here, right now. It stars Laura Linney, Oliver Platt and Gabourey Sidibe, and is directed by Bill Condon (Kinsey, Dreamgirls). Let me know what you think in the comments section.
"The Big C" premieres on Showtime next Monday, August 16 at 10:30PM ET/PT.
See Laura Linney grab life by the balls after the jump…
"Entourage" is on its way out at HBO. According to Latino Review, the show will air its final episode next summer. But that doesn't mean that (insert douche bag lead character's name here before you publish) and the gang are finished. It seems they'll be living on in movie form.
Mark Wahlberg recently mentioned the likelihood of an "Entourage" film, and now creator Doug Ellin is expressing interest in writing a script. And if HBO's other *sshole-based show, "Sex and the City," is any indication, the network is all about a movie spin off.
The real question is whether the show will stay relevant long enough to warrant a film, or will a movie version suffer from the same indifference as X-Files: I Want to Believe. Based on this season's reviews, fans are already losing interest, and I can't say I blame them. If I wanted to watch a bunch of Hollywood D-Bags having sex, I'd get a part-time job as a maintenance man at the Roosevelt Hotel and secretly plant webcams in all of the suites and public bathrooms. I mean, ya know, if I were so inclined, which I'm totally not.
If you like sketch comedy and sci-fi, you were probably a virgin until at least your early 20's. But the enjoyment you'll get out of Thomas Lennon's new show "Alabama" will more than make up for all those lonely nights.
Billed as a cross between "Reno 911!" and "Battlestar Galactica," the show, which is currently in development for FX, follows the exploits of the USS Alabama on its seven year intergalactic peacekeeping mission. It will take place one-thousand years in the future, and will feature sci-fi staples such as cyborgs, puppet-based aliens, and, of course, your occasional time paradox.
"It’s Reno 911! with occasionally like we pass through a nebula that causes everyone on the ship to hear each other's thoughts. Sometimes we run into ourselves as babies and then we have to keep the baby version of our-self alive so the future version of us can be there at the time. You know, sci-fi problems. Reno 911!/sci-fi problems on a very, very sweaty, sweaty, clunky spaceship.”
Filming of the pilot is slated to begin in late September (Collider)
Now that the Losties have shuffled off to be BFFs in Cheesy Plot Twist Heaven, we finally figure what the hell was happening on that island thanks to this short epilogue. Ben Linus takes a trip to Guam to lay-off Sammy Haggar and Bill Nye the Science Guy and agrees to answer one question from each. And then gather around the television to watch a six-minute DVD. He's a busy man. A busy man dressed like Mr. Furley.
Here's a quick rundown of what precious answers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse decide to share with us (bear in mind that I'm paraphrasing): dumb, dumb, stupid. dumb, WWAAALLLLTTTTT!!!!!!, dumb. The End. Thanks for watching!
Check out the video and frustration after the jump…
George Lucas excludes Samuel L. Jackson from snack time on the set of Attack of the Clones.
There's trouble a-brewin' in Nerdville. It seems the long awaited live-action "Star Wars" television show is on hold indefinitely, according to Star Wars creator and destroyer George "Big Baby Jesus" Lucas. In an interview with Digital Spy, the director cited cost as the main factor.
“They literally are Star Wars, only we’re going to have to try to do them [at] a tenth the cost… And it’s a huge challenge, [a] lot bigger than what we thought it was gonna be.”
Considering the first movie, which is beloved by all, was filmed using motion control photography and a bunch of crappy models, and the first prequel, which is hated by all, had an unlimited special effects budget, maybe George is putting too much emphasis on the bells and whistles.
Just make the damn show, and for the love of Yoda, let someone else write and direct. (Screen Rant)
Looks like NBC learned a lot about bad decision making during Jeff Zucker's tenure. Heck, he is the best at being bad afterall. The network is surely making their former teacher proud with the news that they've closed a deal on "Zombies vs. Vampires."
It's a buddy cop comedy that follows two partners, one a zombie and the other a secret vampire, who are members of a squad dedicated to "zombie crime." Sounds ridiculous. But on the bright side, this will deflect the unfounded, premature hatred "$#@% My Dad Says" has been receiving. (Deadline)
"Breakthrough with Tony Robbins" has been canceled after just two episodes, Deadline is reporting. Robbins, a self-help author, success coach, and modern-day medicine man failed to awake the giant within and tap his unlimited power, forcing NBC to scrap the show.
At last report, Robbins was chugging Jack Daniels, eating Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey and watching a 12 hour block of pornography at a Motel 6 in Bakersfield, CA, while repeatedly murmuring to himself that "it's all a big nothing."
July of 2011 is a long way off; almost a year by some estimates. Unfortunately, that's how long we'll have to wait for new episodes of "Breaking Bad." But to help keep fans from resorting to meth use, the show's producers are developing a series of three-to-four minute webisodes to run on the AMC website. According to the show's star, Bryan Cranston, these websiodes will be more than just fluff.
"I for one am eager to make these little interstitials important. I don’t want them to be simply filler or recap, but something that actually moves the storyline forward. If we’re going to do it, it ought to be a real part of the larger show.”
This sounds like a welcome change from the "Battlestar Galactica" websiodes, which consisted mainly of deleted scenes and 15 minutes of Edward James Olmos letting loose on the can. (Deadline)
Here's the trailer for the new season of "The Venture Bros." since I know you guys love Adult Swim so damn much. I've been told it doesn't work for foreigners, or rather, people outside the U.S. If you're in the U.S. but are foreign it should play for you. Unless you're Croatian. Hey, don't blame me. (ToplessRobot)
Enjoy these links, stoners.
'Louie' Moment: Louie Tells His Mother He Doesn't Love Her (TVSquad)
Sly Stallone Rubs Felt Elbows With 'The Muppets Show' (Asylum)
25 Videos Of Epic Bowling Fails (HolyTaco)
'Devil' Riding M. Night Shyamalan's Name Straight To Hell (FilmDrunk)
10 Most Important Hotties In Gaming Today (Maxim)
New Nike Ad Campaign Has Some Butts To Show You (BarStoolSports)
9 Things That Shouldn't Give Us Boners But Do (EgoTV)
Fear Of The Unknown: Those Horror Movies You Never Saw As A Kid (Pajiba)
'Deus Ex: Human Revolution' Is The Best Movie Trailer This Year (Unreality)
Amazing Spider Man Catch Of The Day (TotalProSports)
12 Frighteningly Real Sculptures (Smosh)
45 Hottest TV Lawyers Of All Time (BroBible)
Proof That Beyonce Is An Alien (CelebJihad)
Get Curb-Stomped By Roger Huerta (CagePotato)
Katy Perry: When Sex & God Mix, 'Bad Things Happen' (PopEater)
World Tetris Championship (MadeMen)
In my continued break down of the new fall TV shows where I tell you what to watch and what to skip, after debating lawyer shows last week, I am now taking a peek under the hood of the cop shows.
Never does a season go by on network television where a new cop show or two fails to debut. In fact, the cop show is the most popular TV longform genre in the history of da’ tube and this season is keeping the streak alive with a handful of police entries. Don’t get too excited, though. Only a couple of them are worth a glance.
WATCH IT: “Hawaii Five-0” (CBS), Mondays at 10 pm (ET)
It looks like the second time's the charm for comedian Louie C.K. Collider is reporting that FX has renewed his show, "Louie", for another 13 episode season.
After striking out with his first sitcom, "Lucky Louie", C.K. has found a winning formula. Although "Louie" has been uneven and somewhat clunky, it seems to be getting better as it goes along. Besides, the show could consist of Louie C.K. sh*tting on a bunch of war orphans, and it would still be funnier than 99.9% of the crap on TV.
All up-and-coming comedians need to pay the bills somehow, and acting in TV commercials is a better somehow than busing tables. Tina Fey may be a big hot shot deal now, but back in the day she was a Mutual Savings Bank loyalist. At least for 30 seconds. I guess this is how you said "hi" in the 90s?