Previously on "True Blood": Bill met with Sookie's dream friends. Sam curb-stomped Crystal's redneck father. Lafayette and Jesus took said redneck for help. Eric got permission from The Authority to ice The King. The King ripped out a newscaster's spine and basically declared war on humankind. Ok, on to this week.
We finally learn what Sookie is courtesy of Bill: a fairy (or well, part fairy). The gayest of all the mythological creatures. Apparently all the fairies were thought to be extinct thanks to vampires hunting them down for their sweet, sweet blood. Sookie wants to know if this is why Bill likes her, and he's like, "of course not" but we all know different, right? I mean, did you see how easily he pulled stripper tail a few eps back?
More after the jump..
HBO, "Eastbound & Down," Kenny Powers, and Danny McBride would like you to know that Twitter's KFUCKINGP has nothing to do with them. For more than a year, a comedy writer from NYC has been posing as fictional washed-up baseball star Kenny Powers and delighting followers with his clever, very McBride-like tweets. He isn't McBride though, as the actor himself told Vulture:
"Kenny Powers is a full-grown man, so he would never Twitter. But Kenny is also a man of the people. He doesn't care if the public feels the need to impersonate him. That just puts him up there with the big dogs like Santa and Elvis. Knowing that it's a very funny committed fan makes us proud."
That's a burn for all you bloggers out there. You grown-ass men shouldn't share your thoughts, grievances, and lazy Sunday night plans with the world. Sure, Anonymous NYC Aspiring Comedy Writer found some success with it, but he sacrificed his masculinity in the process. Fortunately Screen Junkies has raw male power to spare, so we're always tweeting the sh*t out of sh*t on our account HERE!!!!
"Eastbound & Down" returns to HBO September 26th, and it's Kenny Powers approved.
Here’s my latest brilliant assessment of the new fall TV shows. This week it’s time to scrutinize sitcoms about couples. While these sitcoms can sometimes be confused with sitcoms about family — which I have already broken down for you — these shows focus on the daily shenanigans of a particular couple, or couples.
Let’s take a look…
WATCH IT: “Perfect Couples” (NBC), Midseason
There's trouble a brew'n at TBS. Page 6 is reporting that Conan O'Brien's writers aren't happy with the pay being doled out by their new employer. Apparently they are under the impression that the network, which until recently conisisted of nothing but Atlanta Braves' games and old Hanna-Barbera cartoons, is swimming in cash.
"This is no surprise," said an insider. "One show was broadcast network; the other is basic cable. It's a different pay scale. It's not just writers; it's everybody."
Despite the complaints, no formal agreement has been made. The Writers Guild is still in talks with TBS, so it's possible that the network will find a way to come up with more cash. Perhaps they could stop paying homeless drifters to be in the George Lopez studio audience and just switch to a laugh track. Although in all fairness, the technology to create laughter for that show is probably a few years away.
Mark Wahlberg and his producing partner Steve Levinson are busy dotting i's and crossing t's on "Entourage" and the upcoming "Boardwalk Empire," but that doesn't mean they don't have time for porn. The two are working on a series for HBO that will delve into the porn business using actors and adult performers. James Frey, the guy who lied to Oprah about being a drug addict, will write the pilot. The New York Post has the dirty details:
"The plot will focus on a giant video company under siege from Internet competitors and a girl from the Midwest whose boyfriend convinces her to move to Los Angeles to become a star," the Post wrote.
"We're going to make a sprawling epic about the porn business in LA," Frey told the paper." We're going to tell the type of stories no one else has told before, and go places no one has gone before."
While still keeping it grounded in reality? Alright, Frey, I'll believe you this time, but if I find out you're lying to me again I'm going to be extremely disappointed. Portraying explicit sexual acts without the facts to back them up is irresponsible and appalling. Unless there's oil.
Is it October yet? Damn. I'm counting down the days until AMC premieres "The Walking Dead." Judging from the line at the Comic-Con panel, I'm not the only one. The network has released a ton of materials to whet our appetites — stills, cast pics, a plethora of behind the scenes videos — and they're keeping them coming.
Here we have a series of images showing Rick Grimes attempt to make it out of Atlanta alive on horseback. Shoot, that's hard enough to do without being surrounded by the undead masses. Things don't pan out well for him. Or the horse. The zombies obviously haven't watched Food, Inc.. (AMC)
Check out the ghastly new images after the jump…
A trailer for the new season of "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" runs through all the weird sh*t that has happened in seasons past. Not sure if this to inspire viewers to watch, or to make them realize, "Why the hell did I watch this crap?" But before that thought can sink in, they hit us with the image of a jailed Justin Bieber. I have a feeling he's only in there because he wants to be. He's like The Joker.
Check it out after jump…
Dexter's world literally turns upside down in this new promo where Michael C. Hall moves into a spacious fully-furnished cement mixer with an ocean view. The new season premieres with Dexter squaring off against Robo-Cop on Sunday, September 26th at 9pm so expect the Showtime hype-machine to go into overdrive. Dexter on buses, billboards, and on magazines. Just don't expect to see any ads on Awesome Husband and Dad Quarterly.
Have a look at the lazily green-screened promo after the jump…
If you haven't already stolen the banned "Family Guy" episode in some form or another, you'll have the chance to watch it on DVD September 28th. "Partial Terms of Endearment" was aired in the U.K. but never in the U.S. because it was deemed too offensive for such a high-brow culture that puts mozzarella cheese sticks in a grilled cheese.
The episode follows what happens when Lois agrees to become a surrogate mother for an infertile couple, a decision Peter isn't happy about. Doesn't seem so controversial to me, but then again I'm writing this post while perched atop a pile of styrofoam cups. Yeah, that's right! They don't decompose! The DVD will sell for $14.98, and before you start b*tching about the price for a single episode, it also includes some special features: The Seth and Alex Almost Like Comedy Show, Family Guy: Live and Uncensored Table Read, Animatic for "Partial Terms of Endearment," Nine Original Songs Composed for "Family Guy," and a Digital Copy. Now you can go ahead and b*tch. (CinemaBlend)
Talk about an authority on the subject.
"Here we'll help you with that gunshot wound."
Here we have a trailer for FX's new comedy-drama-action series "Terriers." The latest from "The Shield" creator Shawn Ryan, and stars Ghost Rider's BFF Donal Logue and Rene from "True Blood" as two unlicensed private investigators. In other words, a couple of real busy bodies. I was surprised to find out this isn't a remake of a British show. Don't they have a "Terriers." I thought they did. They totally should, right?
Check out the trailer for Hawaii 4-0 "Terriers" after the jump…
Previously on "True Blood," Sookie and Bill broke up. Crystal left her (possibly werewolf or shifter) meth dad and fiancé (two different people) for Jason. Sam took in his brother and kicked their mom and dad to the curb. Tara was having problems handling her recent Franklin trauma. Lafayette and Jesus got back together. The King tried to take Sookie forcibly (who was defended by Bill and Jess). Eric killed Talbot as retribution for The King killing his dad a thousand or so years ago. Sookie and Bill got back together. And now onto this week's episode…
More after the jump…
Settle in. It’s time for another installment of my fall TV show tips. This week I’m looking at the new spy/conspiracy-type shows that promise a heavy dose of gratuitous action.
“Alias” went off the air a few seasons ago and “24” is now gone. “Human Target” is back in October, but after that, most of the espionage/government agent entries are freshman series. A couple of them seem to be packing enough intrigue to keep auds hanging around, while another isn’t really blowing my skirt up.
WATCH IT: “Nikita” (CW), Thursdays at 9 pm (ET)
Ricky Gervais is looking to break ground on "The Office" in the Far East. "We are about to start work on developing a Chinese "The Office,"" the comedian wrote on his blog Thursday.
The co-creator of the British and American version, and star of the former, will have to consider the difference in social mores between the countries. For instance, are bobbleheads even allowed in China offices, or is a minature plastic figure with a head that foolishly swings side to side a disgrace to formal business practices? I can't imagine a boss with a carefree management style such as Michael Scott would last very long as the head of a branch. In America, they give you a slap on the wrist for accidently spouting racist slurs. In China, your family is forced to disown you. At least, that's what SJ's China correspondent tells me. Or I assume, since I don't bother translating his emails. (THR)
Play it cool, boys. Geez.
You've been waiting years to touch Christina Hendricks and now eBay is making it possible. A 10-day "Mad Men" auction goes live on Thursday in which some of the items up for bid are a walk-on role on the show, furniture and props from Sterling Cooper, and dresses that have graced the skin of both Betty Draper (January Jones) and Joan Harris (Christina Hendricks). Imagine the things you could do with those dresses, as long as you have the matching shoes, of course.
A portion of the proceeds from the auction will go to the lung cancer program at southern California's City of Hope hospital. The other portion will go to the January-Jones-F*cked-Up-Again fund. You can start bidding tomorrow HERE. Make sure your PayPal accounts are in order. Christina Hendricks's dress waits for no nerd. (Vulture)
AMC has officially picked up the crime thriller the "The Killing" to series. It will join the line-up of "Mad Men," "Rubicon," "Breaking Bad," and "The Walking Dead," the Frank Darabont zombie series that you and I both can't wait to premiere in October. The show will be renamed, and run by creator/executive producer Veena Sud.
Set in Seattle, the series is based on the wildly successful Danish television series “Forbrydelsen” and tells the story of the murder of a young girl and the subsequent police investigation. Production on the series begins this fall in Vancouver and season one consists of 13, one-hour episodes. The series is slated to premiere in 2011 on AMC.
If you're intrigued, you can read the rest of the press release after the jump. And just FYI, Keanu Reeves doesn't star in it. Awww, don't be sad. Put that sandwich down and get off of that bench.
Sofia Vergara let the Freudian slips fly on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" last night. Actually, it all started earlier in the day when Sofia tweeted that she was excited to "do Kimmel" that night. Except she meant "do" as in appear on, not "do" as in bang.
In trying to defend herself on the show, she kept accidentally rambling on and on about sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex. Does the woman think of nothing else? Before we know it she's going to convince Christina Hendricks that they should do a topless photoshoot together. It sickens me! **Mother pulls ear away from bedroom door. Google "Modern Family/Mad Men" fan fiction**
Check out the euphemisms after the jump…
Good news for anyone who likes washed-up pop stars! Britney Spears is going to appear on "Glee", according to the show's creator Ryan Murphy.
Instead of having a drunken Spears ram her car into the glee club's bus or attempt to buy drugs off of one of the students, the show decided to take the high road by having most of Britney's scenes take place in a dream sequence.
After being put under in the dentist's chair, some of the characters from the show will "hallucinate about being like the singer." I can only assume that means they will dream about forgetting to feed their children while drunkenly scouring the house for that last free sample of Valtrex. (Coming Soon)
Everyone's curious what will become of "The Office" after this season, once Steve Carell packs his assorted chochkies and potted plant into a banker's box and is forcefully removed from the Scranton Sabre branch. A replacement has yet to be named but sources say that both of the slobs pictured above have been contacted about joining the cast.
Showrunner Paul Lieberstein confirms that Rhys Darby ("Flight of the Conchords") and Danny McBride (every comedy) are having conversations about coming aboard in the role of a new salesman. It's not a done deal that the actor who takes this role will take over as boss. That job could easily go to a current castmember. Sound off in the 'comments' section to let us know who you think would make the best dipsh*t boss. (EW)
Here’s the third installment of your guide to the new fall TV shows and this time I dish out wisdom about the sitcoms centered around a family. Please don't confuse these shows with 'family sitcoms' — the shows like "Full House" and the one with Urkel that were ‘kid safe’ and painfully lacking in humor. These are sitcoms that are made for adults and just happen to be about a family. There aren't many of these debuting this fall, but there is one you definitely want to tune in to.
WATCH IT: “$#*! My Dad Says” (CBS), Thursdays at 8:30 pm (ET)
I'll take the one on the right. No, just one is fine.
TLC has taken another step in its insatiable quest to find rock bottom. The network's new reality show, "Sister Wives," will chronicle the lives of a group of fundamentalist Mormons who practice polygamy. It's like a double episode of "Wife Swap," except with just one guy and no swapping.
But in case you think the producers are simply exploiting the lives of a bunch of religious fanatics for ratings, think again. They actually care about these people. As it turns out, they're just like you or me…except for the whole "cult" thing.
“They are very much a modern family. They are open-minded. They are generally adorable,” said Bill Hayes, president of North Carolina-based Figure 8 Films and co-executive producer of the show. “Their children were so well behaved and polite and healthy and happy,” he added. “Pardon the cliche, but the proof was in the pudding. I thought, ‘What a bunch of great young people, and there was nothing strange about them.’"
You know, he has a point. Maybe there's nothing strange about a group of women being used as a human puppy mill, as long as their children are well behaved, and provided they don't shoot me during their apocalyptic final battle with the federal government. After all, a single mom lives next door, and I'm pretty sure her kids are running a meth lab. Perhaps four moms is the way to go. (Warming Glow)
The people of Queensland, Australia, might want to throw another shrimp on the barbie (unless shrimp falls into the whole shellfish/non-kosher category, in which case a nice brisket might be more in order).
Stephen Spielberg has chosen the land down under as the filming location for his new TV series, "Terra Nova," Coming Soon has confirmed.
"We wanted this ambitious series to look like no other on television and Queensland provided the best of all possible worlds," executive vice president of production, Jim Sharp added. "Queensland had the right look, climate and terrain…"
Considering the show is about a group of scientists from the future who travel back 85 million years to prehistoric Earth, I'm not exactly sure that's a ringing endorsement for Queensland tourism bureau.
Come to Queensland: "The Land That Time Forgot!"
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Would you pick this up from a store display? Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo announced to Spinner that the cover of the band's new album "Hurley" will feature the face of Jorge Garcia, who played Hurley on "Lost." He tries to explain but I still don't understand:
"I just loved this photo of Jorge Garcia — it just had this amazing vibe. We didn't want to do a fourth self-titled record and we knew people would refer to it as 'the Hurley record' even if left it without that title, so we just called it 'Hurley.' No words are on the cover because all we wanted was his amazing face."
Thank you, Rivers, for making me feel a whole lot better about my face. Unless by "amazing" you mean perplexing and slightly off-putting. Than NO thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm putting the finishing touches on my "Marty" demo cover.
Previously on "True Blood," Sam helped his brother escape a vicious dog-fighting ring. Bill and Sookie tag-teamed Lorena, and not in a good way. Jason dug for info on Crystal. Sookie saved Bill's life by letting him feed on her and he went overboard and put her in a coma. Later, Bill saved Sookie from a really weird coma dream with a bunch of hippie fairies and then she freaked when she woke up and saw him. The King (of Mississippi AKA Russell) and Queen (of Louisiana) saved Pam and then the King tortured the Magister until he married them, then the King cut his head off. And now on to this week's episode…
More after the jump…
Over the years, Showtime has built an impressive stable of shows featuring strong but flawed women. Nancy Botwin from "Weeds" deals drugs, Jackie Peyton from "Nurse Jackie" takes drugs, and Belle from "Secret Diary of Call Girl" sells sex for money. Now we have Cathy Jamison from the upcoming "The Big C" to add to the group. She doesn't dabble in anything illegal, yet, but after she's diagnosed with cancer, she decides to let her freak flag fly.
You can watch the first episode right here, right now. It stars Laura Linney, Oliver Platt and Gabourey Sidibe, and is directed by Bill Condon (Kinsey, Dreamgirls). Let me know what you think in the comments section.
"The Big C" premieres on Showtime next Monday, August 16 at 10:30PM ET/PT.
See Laura Linney grab life by the balls after the jump…
"Entourage" is on its way out at HBO. According to Latino Review, the show will air its final episode next summer. But that doesn't mean that (insert douche bag lead character's name here before you publish) and the gang are finished. It seems they'll be living on in movie form.
Mark Wahlberg recently mentioned the likelihood of an "Entourage" film, and now creator Doug Ellin is expressing interest in writing a script. And if HBO's other *sshole-based show, "Sex and the City," is any indication, the network is all about a movie spin off.
The real question is whether the show will stay relevant long enough to warrant a film, or will a movie version suffer from the same indifference as X-Files: I Want to Believe. Based on this season's reviews, fans are already losing interest, and I can't say I blame them. If I wanted to watch a bunch of Hollywood D-Bags having sex, I'd get a part-time job as a maintenance man at the Roosevelt Hotel and secretly plant webcams in all of the suites and public bathrooms. I mean, ya know, if I were so inclined, which I'm totally not.
If you like sketch comedy and sci-fi, you were probably a virgin until at least your early 20's. But the enjoyment you'll get out of Thomas Lennon's new show "Alabama" will more than make up for all those lonely nights.
Billed as a cross between "Reno 911!" and "Battlestar Galactica," the show, which is currently in development for FX, follows the exploits of the USS Alabama on its seven year intergalactic peacekeeping mission. It will take place one-thousand years in the future, and will feature sci-fi staples such as cyborgs, puppet-based aliens, and, of course, your occasional time paradox.
"It’s Reno 911! with occasionally like we pass through a nebula that causes everyone on the ship to hear each other's thoughts. Sometimes we run into ourselves as babies and then we have to keep the baby version of our-self alive so the future version of us can be there at the time. You know, sci-fi problems. Reno 911!/sci-fi problems on a very, very sweaty, sweaty, clunky spaceship.”
Filming of the pilot is slated to begin in late September (Collider)
Now that the Losties have shuffled off to be BFFs in Cheesy Plot Twist Heaven, we finally figure what the hell was happening on that island thanks to this short epilogue. Ben Linus takes a trip to Guam to lay-off Sammy Haggar and Bill Nye the Science Guy and agrees to answer one question from each. And then gather around the television to watch a six-minute DVD. He's a busy man. A busy man dressed like Mr. Furley.
Here's a quick rundown of what precious answers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse decide to share with us (bear in mind that I'm paraphrasing): dumb, dumb, stupid. dumb, WWAAALLLLTTTTT!!!!!!, dumb. The End. Thanks for watching!
Check out the video and frustration after the jump…
George Lucas excludes Samuel L. Jackson from snack time on the set of Attack of the Clones.
There's trouble a-brewin' in Nerdville. It seems the long awaited live-action "Star Wars" television show is on hold indefinitely, according to Star Wars creator and destroyer George "Big Baby Jesus" Lucas. In an interview with Digital Spy, the director cited cost as the main factor.
“They literally are Star Wars, only we’re going to have to try to do them [at] a tenth the cost… And it’s a huge challenge, [a] lot bigger than what we thought it was gonna be.”
Considering the first movie, which is beloved by all, was filmed using motion control photography and a bunch of crappy models, and the first prequel, which is hated by all, had an unlimited special effects budget, maybe George is putting too much emphasis on the bells and whistles.
Just make the damn show, and for the love of Yoda, let someone else write and direct. (Screen Rant)
Looks like NBC learned a lot about bad decision making during Jeff Zucker's tenure. Heck, he is the best at being bad afterall. The network is surely making their former teacher proud with the news that they've closed a deal on "Zombies vs. Vampires."
It's a buddy cop comedy that follows two partners, one a zombie and the other a secret vampire, who are members of a squad dedicated to "zombie crime." Sounds ridiculous. But on the bright side, this will deflect the unfounded, premature hatred "$#@% My Dad Says" has been receiving. (Deadline)