News - Page 26

conan
Conan Auditions Wives a la Tom Cruise
Wednesday, September 12 by

Which is creepier, Scientology or red hair?

They might want to update the wardrobe a little.
Bravo Is Adapting/Rebooting/Whatevering ‘Heathers’ Into A TV Show
Wednesday, September 12 by

“I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON!”

sea lion
Chelsea Handler Was Attacked By A Sea Lion
Wednesday, September 12 by

Everybody’s a critic.

kimmel
Here’s Those Pictures Of Jimmy Kimmel Dressed As The Dowager Countess That Your Penis Ordered
Friday, September 7 by

He should stick to dressing up like Jimmy Kimmel.

GET BIGGER HANDS.
This Week In ‘Oh, NBC!’: NBC Wants To Give Cee-Lo A Sitcom
Friday, September 7 by

It could be like ‘The Cosby Show’, only for people with massive head injuries.

Drink responsibly, bitch.
Handicapping The Odds For ‘Breaking Bad’s Final Eight Episodes
Wednesday, September 5 by

I would like to be put in an induced coma until the next eight episodes air.

Pictured: Godjira
Arrested Development Episodes To Serve As ‘Act One’ Of The Movie
Tuesday, September 4 by

I’m going to make a movie about the saga of making the ‘AD’ movie.

He's still not taking Frankie Muniz's calls.
’30 Rock’ Is About To Get Cranston’d. HARD.
Tuesday, September 4 by

Heisenberg would absolutely skullf*ck Jack Donaghy.

His words are as pointed as his face.
Benedict Cumberbatch Is As Suspicious Of CBS’ ‘Elementary’ As We Are
Thursday, August 30 by

When it comes to contemporary Sherlock Holmes adaptations, Benedict Cumberbatch is the one who knocks.

What the fuck are you looking at, Charlie Sheen?
‘Anger Management’ Gets Automatically Picked Up For 90 More Episodes. Yup. 90.
Wednesday, August 29 by

It took ‘Arrested Development’ six years to get ten more.

Pretend the green dude is Shawn Ryan.
Eddie Murphy And Shawn Ryan Shopping Around ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ TV Show
Wednesday, August 29 by

I don’t know if my knee-jerk reaction is supposed to be love or hate.

This is either Jay Leno or Jimmy Kimmel. It's hard to tell.
‘Shit On Jay Leno’ Week Continues With Jimmy Kimmel’s ‘F*ck Him’
Tuesday, August 28 by

He must not have seen “Jaywalking.”

Just like in my dream...
Howard Stern Calls Jay Leno A ‘Spineless Maggot’, Upsets Fragile NBC
Monday, August 27 by

I never knew him to be one to speak his mind at the expense of decorum. How odd.

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The Dwight Schrute ‘Office’ Spinoff Hasn’t Cast His Little Brother: FALSE!
Monday, August 27 by

Perhaps this isn’t clear. They cast his brother.

zlopp
All The Ass-Beatings Of The 60′s ‘Batman’ In One Convenient Video
Friday, August 24 by

Violence has come a long way since the 1960′s.

Spurlock after the first round of contract negotiations with Ted Turner.
CNN Continues To Test Definition Of ‘News’ With Morgan Spurlock Show
Friday, August 24 by

Pot, guns, prison? Who do they think they are, MSNBC?

Ned Flanders.
‘American Bible Challenge’ Is Hosted By Jeff Foxworthy, But Fails The Trifecta By Not Being On TNN
Wednesday, August 22 by

Unless it’s Ezekiel 25:17, I’m probably useless here.

price-right02
Drunk Guy Tripping On Shrooms Goes On ‘Price Is Right’. Sadly, No Puking.
Wednesday, August 22 by

Bob Barker would not have allowed this.

Sorry they annoyed you with their friendship, NBC.
‘The Office’ Is Done After Next Year, Which May Surprise People Who Thought It Was Already Cancelled
Tuesday, August 21 by

I hope Jim and Pam both lose their legs in separate car accidents and have to become “skateboard people.”

Would the owner of the Pontiac Vibe please move their car from Mr. West's reserved parking spot?
Kanye West To Possibly Bring His Brand Of Crazy To ‘American Idol’
Tuesday, August 21 by

I guess reanimating Michael Jackson’s corpse a la ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ wasn’t so viable after all.

the-walking-dead-walker-zombie
‘Walking Dead’ To Campaign Against Dish Network At Political Conventions
Tuesday, August 21 by

Cute. In a flesh-rotting, repulsive way.

R.I.P.
I Know You’re Bummed About Tony Scott, But Phyllis Diller Died, Too
Monday, August 20 by

R.I.P.

SIMILAR NAME ALERT!
Police Looking To Arrest Walter White For Cooking Lots Of Meth
Friday, August 17 by

Yes, we know the difference between fiction and reality.

dexter-season-7-poster
The Bodies Pile Up In ‘Dexter’ Season 7 Trailer
Thursday, August 16 by

Featuring the Deftones.

Smile, John Slattery. You're awesome.
John Slattery To Appear On ‘Arrested Development’ In Awesome Display Of Synergy
Thursday, August 16 by

He probably seduced Lucille Bluth back in the 60′s.

He's waving "hello." He's waving hello.
The Alternate Ending To Last Week’s ‘Breaking Bad’
Thursday, August 16 by

I like how this purports to be the director’s cut. This entire series is one big “director’s cut.”

Heyyyyyyy girrrrrrrllllllll.
Lucy Lawless To Play A Swanson Love Interest On ‘Parks And Recreation’
Thursday, August 16 by

I hope he doesn’t get his mustache rubbed off again.

I hope the person left standing gets clocked in the face with a folding chair. I would watch that.
Extreme Musical Chairs Premieres Tonight With The CW’s ‘Oh Sit!’
Wednesday, August 15 by

“‘Oh Sit!’? More like…’Oh F*ck!’”

Nell will straight up fucking murder you if you don't make that vig payment.
Jodie Foster Directing A Sort-Of Female ‘Sopranos’
Tuesday, August 14 by

“Quit bustin’ my labia.”

Chubby Michael Phelps.
‘Parks And Recreation’ Gets You Excited With Some Olympics-Themed Promos
Monday, August 13 by

Yes, I know the Olympics are over, but it’s ‘Parks and Rec’, so we cut them some slack.