Obama’s Top Ten Lines on Letterman

Monday, September 21 by

 

Tonight, President Obama will visit the Late Show with David Letterman, and is set to be the only guest (sorry if you got bumped). This is his sixth time on the show, but the first time back since his election, and the speculation is that he’ll be using this appearance to talk about the future of health care in America. 

So what exactly might be said during his hour on late night TV? We gave that a think over here at Screen Junkies, and in the grand tradition of Dave, came up with a Top Ten list of our own. So here it is, an entirely speculative list…

 

Top Ten Things Obama Might Say on Letterman

 

10) "Death Panel? Isn’t that one of those reality crap-fests CBS does so well?"

9) "Let’s skip the Medicare chitchat. Leno’s audience nodded off an hour ago."

8) "When’s the next commercia break? These Marlboro Reds ain’t gonna smoke themselves."

7) "With Obama Care, Joe Wilson can finally afford to go back on his Tourette’s meds."

6) "No, Kanye West would not not covered under this plan, because jackasses technically aren’t citizens."

5) "My stance on medical marijuana changed after Matthew McConaughey showed me just what ‘Just Keep Livin’ really meant."

4) "Uncle Sam wants YOU! To turn your head and cough."

3) "Maybe you misheard me. Everyone should be insured. Just not fat people."

2) "4 out of 5 doctors recommend people to stop bitching at me about health care reform."

1) "Still, if you see a pig sneeze, run like hell!"

 

Today’s Marquee Links:

 

Alicia Puckey Photos

Total Pro Sports

Google Doodles Celebrate HG Wells

 

Flowchart: Which Star Wars Movie Are You Watching?

  

Creepy Simpsons Tribute

 

Sundance Channel Doc about Newark’s Mayor

 

 

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