Man Arrested For Hate Crime Against A. C. Slater

Thursday, January 13 by

“It’s alright, ’cause I’m Saved By The Bell…” But for one Illinois man, it’s not alright. It’s as screwed up as Jessie Spano on caffeine pills, and this man ended his day in the slammer.

Okay, stop me if you’ve heard this one: A man walks into a bar called Mullets in a town called Homer Glen. He goes to take a piss and sees two pictures of Mario Lopez as A. C. Slater from Saved By The Bell on the wall above the urinals. As we all know, Mario was sporting a totally tubular mullet in the 90s. The man flips out, gets completely enraged — he tore the framed pictures from the wall and smashes them on the ground. So the owner asks the guy, “why’d you destroy those pictures of A. C. Slater” and the man says, he says…

“I just don’t like Slater.”

So the owner has him arrested! And that man was Dustin Diamond.* The End. You couldn’t see it, but I just took a bow at my computer.

I have a sneaking suspicion there’s more to this story than what’s been reported, but I guess we have to chalk this up as another case of Slatercide. (EW)

* We assume.

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  1. January 13, 2011 5:40 pm


    I’m sick of Slater-hatin’. He never hurt no one.

  2. January 13, 2011 5:40 pm

    Giuseppe Ari-gold Pusateri

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