Here’s How Charlie Sheen Dies In ‘Two And A Half Men’

Monday, August 8 by
 

The producers of Two and a Half Men could have had a field day with their opportunity to kill off the insolent Charlie Sheen’s character on the upcoming season. However, in keeping with Two and a Half Men tradition, they managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by having Sheen meet his end by the hand of some stalker named Rose.

TMZ reports that Charlie’s character, “Charlie,” will be pushed off a subway platform in Paris by Rose, who he married in Paris offscreen. So rather than do something crazy, ridiculous, and spiteful, which we all wanted, they went in a direction that actually ties to some other plot points, which is disappointing, but not necessarily a surprise. I don’t know who Rose is, and I don’t want to know. I mean, I like her because she killed off a Two and a Half Men character, but he was the only interesting one.

So I forfeit the $10 I had in the Charlie Harper death pool, with $5 on “getting stuck to death while allergic to bees like Macauley Culkin in My Girl” and “decapitated by Jon Cryer in CGI cage match.” I could have used that money, too.

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