Hark! Snooki From ‘Jersey Shore’ Is Pregnant!

Wednesday, February 29 by
This is going to be a very interesting child.  

The New York Post is reporting that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, the orange troll that stars on MTV‘s The Jersey Shore, is pregnant.

It’s days like this that I’m proud to call myself a journalist.

One could make the assumption that the baby’s father is her boyfriend Jionni LaVelle, but that would be a very dangerous assumption because Snooki is a huge whore and anyone could be the father. I was doing the math to see how long it had been since I slept with her, but it’s been like five months, so she would totally be showing right now if I was the dad.

It will be the 24-year-old’s first child, but almost certainly not her first pregnancy. Snooki had dismissed rumors that she was pregnant, but now tells TMZ that she didn’t want to jinx it, which is funny, because this baby’s actually been jinxed since it was conceived.

How will this affect Jersey Shore‘s upcoming seasons?

Shut up. That’s how it will affect it.

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