Sheen Continues Making Threats From His Island

Friday, February 25 by

UPDATE: John Stamos being courted to replace Sheen.

UPDATE: Sheen wants CBS to lick his feet.

Charles Sheen’s descent into madness from his tropical island paradise continues. Sheen has informed the cast and crew of “Two and a Half Men” that they are “at war” with “the turds who are currently in place.” It can only be assumed that he has retreated to the Bahamas to raise and train a team of elite soldiers in his crusade against Chuck Lorre, the de facto leader of the turds.

It is not certain what Sheen meant when he called into Los Angeles KLAC 570 Sports and proclaimed that things would “get really gnarly.” It’s possible that Sheen is intending to use his army of coke-fueled porn stars against Lorre, CBS, and Warner Bros. in an effort to stop them from being “a couple AA Nazis and really just blunt hypocrites.”

We at Screen Junkies can only assume that the man next to Sheen in this picture is either his consigliere, some sort of miniature military tactician, or possibly a porn star to satisfy Sheen’s increasingly depraved fetishes. Perhaps both. (THR)

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COMMENTS

  1. February 25, 2011 3:59 pm

    Penn

    At the very least, we can expect a Navy S.E.A.L.S reunion out of this. A bloody, bloody reunion.