When it was first announced that Conan O'Brien would embark on a live tour as a means around NBC's cock-blockery, my first thought was "Awesome!" Then my second thought was, "Don't bring your guitar. Don't bring your guitar. Don't bring your guitar." Today the giant comedian wrote on his Twitter:

“Hey Internet: I’m headed to your town on a half-assed comedy & music (GODDAMNIT-Ed.) tour. Go to http://TeamCoco.com for tix. I repeat: It’s half-assed.”

We've got the full list of tour dates after the jump but I've got to say, I'm kind of disappointed. Tickets for the Radio City Music Hall dates cost between $44 and $84 BEFORE Ticketmaster rapes your wallet with hidden fees and bullsh*t additional charges. Conan's funny and all but if I want to see a Masturbating Bear, I can probably do so for free in the West Village. (Team Coco)


April 12: Hult Center for the Performing Arts in Eugene, Ore.
April 13: Orpheum Theater in Vancouver, British Columbia
April 16: INB Performing Arts Center in Spokane, Wash.
April 17: River Cree Resort & Casino in Enoch, Alberta
April 18: Seattle Center, Marion Oliver McCaw Hall, in Seattle
April 22: Nob Hill Masonic Center in San Francisco
April 24: Gibson Amphitheater in Universal City, Calif.
April 29: San Diego Civic Theater in San Diego
April 30: Dodge Theater in Phoenix
May 1: Pearl Concert Theater at The Palms in Las Vegas
May 4: Grand Sierra Resort & Casino in Reno, Nev.
May 5: San Jose State University Events Center in San Jose, Calif.
May 6: Sacramento Memorial Auditorium in Sacramento, Calif.
May 9: Mackey Auditorium in Boulder, Colo.
May 10: Ellie Caulkins Opera House in Denver
May 13: McFarlin Memorial Auditorium, SMU, Dallas
May 14: Austin Music Hall in Austin, Tex.
May 15: Brady Theater in Tulsa, Okla.
May 16: Midland Theater in Kansas City
May 18: Orpheum Theater in Minneapolis
May 19: Chicago Theater in Chicago
May 22: Massey Hall in Toronto
May 30: Borgata Spa & Resort Event Center in Atlantic City, N.J.
June 1: Radio City Music Hall in New York
June 4: Wang Theater in Boston
June 6: Mohegan Sun Arena in Uncasville, Conn.
June 7: Tower Theater in Upper Darby, Penn.
June 8: Constitution Hall in Washington
June 11: Bonnaroo Music Festival in Manchester, Tenn.
June 14: Fox Theater in Atlanta